At about 6 pm on a chilly Saturday night, I’m having dinner with my girlfriend right before my senior prom. After we finish our meal and begin to leave, I notice slightly to my right an elderly man who is staring at me intently. As I attempted to break his gaze by looking elsewhere, I then saw that he was looking directly at both my partner and I. Perhaps you’re thinking that I was paranoid, but I’ve seen this movie before: I’m a black male, and my girlfriend was half-Asian, yet could easily pass for white.
By no means was this the first account I’ve experienced something of this nature. Whether it was in nice restaurants, a mall, or even in her neighborhood for that matter, I noticed that people would stare at us (especially me) like we had committed some sort of crime. Aside from these awkward encounters in public settings, I’ve also been faced with judgments from those within my own community. On more than one occasion, when I’ve told friends about who I was dating, they immediately jumped to, “oh so you don’t like black girls then?” I assume they must be kidding.
What many fail to realize is that placing judgments on interracial relationships is a reflection of our deep-rooted ideas of segregation. As many of us have realized, the U.S. has a long history regarding the separation of minority groups from the majority. Though we no longer have black and white water fountains or separate bathrooms for people of color, segregation still appears to affect our perceptions of relationships with one another. Simply put, judging interracial relationships is a manifestation of that historical mindset, even if we do not realize it. The fact that even in today’s society, we find that a black man dating a white woman is weird shows that many are confined to that old mindset.
Although this may appear to be a simple concept for many to understand, there are still those who struggle to understand why judging interracial couples is wrong. Human beings should not be separated into their own subgroups, similar to how other species on earth are not segregated. At the end of the day, despite our ethnicities or cultural backgrounds, we all are just one race right? Human! Considering this fact, placing judgments on whether couples date interracially or not makes little sense. Dating shouldn’t solely be placed on looks, especially those of race and ethnicity. Instead, dating should be focused on substantive qualities such as personalities, goals or interests you find appealing.
While it’s perfectly fine to date outside of your race group, it is also valid that dating within your culture can have positive benefits. Because you are dating someone with the same ethnicity, that person most likely has faced similar racial experiences and challenges as you have faced yourself. Additionally, you wont have to worry about being stigmatized by modern society. After awhile of dating outside your race, you grow increasingly tired of being judged and stared at because your partner is different than you.
If you know at least the very basics of U.S. history, you’ll remember that Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Though times were different back then, the same principles can still be applied. Why punish those who choose their partners based on internal qualities, the ones that matter most, placing judgments or labeling them as “sellouts?” The time has come to move on.