Every once in a while, you catch a glimpse of him gliding by in his gold mask, and you’re awestruck by his elegance. A (big) part of you wishes you had the athletic ability, taste in music, or bravado to be just like him. But while you’ll never match him, you can still experience a part of his world. How? Let us explain.
Are you ever stuck somewhere with no motivation to move a bone in your body? Constantly? Me too. Now imagine yourself riding on the masked man’s bicycle, wind blowing through your hair as you whizz by the suckers walking up Science Hill.
What?? He’s actually a taxi service?
Obviously! Haven’t you noticed the occasional handlebar passenger? Seriously! He does this!
But he’s so mysterious and elusive-how would I ever even know where he is?
Good news: As part of its new sustainability initiative, Yale is encouraging people to use the masked cyclist’s services more often. The administration recently unveiled its newest application, self-proclaimed as “the new Uber,” created for the sole purpose of telling you where the masked biker is at all times. Using echolocation of dubstep, they’re able to pinpoint his location. And it’s still more accurate than the Yale shuttle locator.
There’s more! Yale labs have developed state of the art technology to tell you what song he’s playing at all times. If that isn’t a breakthrough, I don’t know what is. Download the Masked Man Locator now, he’ll put Transloc outta business!