Column: Don’t be a dick

By Morgan Toone

It’s impossible to avoid annoying people in class. They’re distracting, they’re a waste of perfectly good air and they happen to be very persistent. You can, however, avoid becoming one of these people, by doing your part to make a class a semi-pleasant experience for all.

The Tweaker
We’ve all been stuck next to that person who will not stop drumming a pen at hummingbird speed, tapping their foot on the tile or bouncing their leg a mile a minute as if they’re temporarily possessed by the Energizer Bunny. That’s not making class go by any faster, in fact, such incessant tweaking makes it much slower for the rest of us with each tap, tick and shake. Do us all a favor and sit still, shut up and space out in silence like the rest of us.

The Know-It-All
There’s always the one kiss-ass who sits smack dab in the middle of the very front row with every intention of answering every question before the professor even finishes their sentence. After the first 20 minutes of lecture, they proceed to debate on each point mentioned for the rest of class while the rest of us surf the web or doodle aimlessly wishing their voice box would malfunction. Taking up the entire class time with your incessant babble is not going to get you participation points, it will get everyone in class to hate you.

The Overachiever
The over-achiever is somewhat like the Know-It-All in the sense that they both need to take a giant chill pill. This obnoxious student questions everything, takes notes frivolously and highlights them into a giant rainbow while stopping the teacher every minute or so for expansion, clarification or repetition of an extremely simple concept.

The Party Animal
Likely a sorority sister or frat boy, this individual seems to think they are the only student letting loose on the weekend. They waddle in on a Monday morning and make proclamations like, “Man, I’m so hungover,” or, “Oh my gosh, I’m never drinking again,” at which point they proceed to recap every event of their entire weekend. Once class begins, they decrease the volume of their voice only slightly and continue to brag about their recent alcohol consumption. Get a life: we all party, and you’re probably a lightweight anyway.

The Sniffler
The sniffler is that severely sick student who should have stayed in bed, but decided to grace us all with their germs instead. They cough and blow their nose through the duration of class, and are most apt to attend on a test day when the air is silent — minus the turning of pages and unrelenting sniffling. If you’re lucky, you might get a chorus of snifflers, who seem to sniffle on cue like a round of “Row Your Boat.” DayQuil up, stay home or cram tissues up your nose, but don’t be a sniffler.

Read more here: www.wildcat.arizona.edu/article/2012/07/dont-be-a-dick
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