Stephen Colbert mocks male birth control

By Marshall Schmidt

Late night conservative satirist Stephen Colbert gave U. Kansas the finger last Wednesday evening, the wag of the finger that is.

Colbert condemned KU Medical Center researcher Joseph Tash for his research in developing a male birth control pill, 50 years after birth control was made available to women.

“Folks, this is dangerous. If birth control becomes widely available to men, they might want to have a lot of sex,” Colbert said. “That’s why I’m a wag of my finger to the spermacidal maniacs at the University of Kansas who developed this pill.”

According to the KU Medical Center Tash’s research is aimed at developing at compound that acts as a chemical male contraceptive.

Colbert went on to cite presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s stance suggesting that birth control leads to more children being born out of wedlock, making a comparison to fire extinguishers causing fires.

With no pause in the contempt he released upon the prospect of male contraception, although he prefaced the wagging of his finger with a disclaimer.

“I never rush to judgment. I wake up early shower and shave, eat a full breakfast, then accuse you of being a horse molester,” Colbert said.

For any male wanting to use the pill, Colbert quickly suggested they should be forced to a have a trans urethral ultrasound. Though supposedly noninvasive, Colbert pulled out a big ultrasound wand for use at the end of the segment.

“You men will think twice about taking that pill, assuming you survive,” Colbert said.

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