The world of college football uniforms, to be blunt, has gone completely insane.
When Oregon first began wearing a different uniform every game a few seasons ago, it was exciting, groundbreaking and, above all, unique. However, now there is a long line of imitators backed by Nike polluting college football.
But this has been a common thread throughout this season so far, and last week was no different.
Michigan, Michigan State, Oklahoma State and Washington State played as horrendous examples of a frightening trend.
When Michigan faced off against Michigan State, it was a matchup of in-state and conference rivals, top-25 teams and mind-bogglingly awful uniforms.
Michigan State sported green jerseys, Nike Pro Combat-style numbers and gold helmets. The overall effect made the team look like a bastard love child of Oregon and Notre Dame, which was far less appealing than it sounds.
On the other side of the ball, Michigan wore retro jerseys, which could only be described as seizure-inducing because of the shoulders — a blue-and-yellow-striped pattern busy enough to send anyone into an epileptic episode.
Oklahoma State’s jerseys weren’t overtly terrible this week, but they were just one in a line of mediocrity. (We all remember those awful matte-gray jerseys earlier this season.)
The Cowboys’ jerseys often are awkwardly matched, and the central point of the collection — the gray and orange stripes on the pants and shoulders — are sloppy at best. Moreover, the orange stripe looks closer to pink on TV.
But Washington State took home the blue ribbon for ugliest jersey this week, a flat gray set that would be indistinguishable as Wazzu without the cougar logo on the helmet.
Never has a uniform that was so boring been, at the same time, so ugly. If the 30-point beatdown WSU received at the hands of Stanford wasn’t embarrassing enough, the pewter table clothes the Cougars had to take it in should have done the trick.
It’s so bad, ESPN recently took a trip to the set of E!’s “Fashion Police.”
Why should Kelly Osbourne or Joan Rivers be qualified to comment on anything even slightly related to football? And more importantly, when did college football become a beauty contest?
Despite all the new uniforms, the people’s favorites remain the OUs, Alabamas and Texases of the world — schools whose jerseys haven’t changed in 50 or more years.
Progress can be good, but if it’s progress for progress’ sake, what’s the point?
Stick to the classics, people.