Some couples may take it for granted that they are in monogamous relationships, but according to a recent study, that isn’t always the case.
Oregon State U. researchers Marie Harvey and Jocelyn Warren wanted to look at communication between heterosexual young couples in order to see whether or not they had explicitly agreed to be monogamous. Additionally, they sought to find out how many couples did not remain monogamous, even after agreeing to have no other partners.
The study used previously collected data that, according to Warren, included information from both members of the sexual dyad, or couple. These sorts of data sets are rare because most surveys include only one partner’s perspective.
“We looked at the baseline data for our monogamy study to find out, in general, to what extent couples are making explicit agreements about monogamy,” said Warren, a public health researcher at OSU. “About 40 percent of couples have one member of the couple saying that they have a monogamy agreement, and the other partner doesn’t agree.”
Among the 60 percent of couples who do explicitly agree to be monogamous, 30 percent of them do not maintain that agreement.
“This group was already at high risk for HIV because of information they had already reported, but 30 percent among an already high-risk group is really a concern,” Warren said.
This information is particularly important, because people in a monogamous relationship tend to forgo protection with the assumption that their partner is only having sex within the confines of that particular relationship. For this reason, Warren and Harvey think that monogamy is not the best form of protection during sex.
“A lot of interventions or prevention methods say, ‘OK, well, be monogamous,'” said Harvey, department chair of the health and human sciences department at OSU. “However, that’s not the best message to give to high-risk young people, because they’re not being monogamous, and they’re not talking about it.”
According to Warren, people who have sex with multiple partners are at a higher risk for STDs. When one partner is under the impression that they are in a monogamous relationship and this is not actually the case, they are exposing themselves to the same risks that the non-monogamous partner is taking.
“The take-away message is probably to help young people understand that as they go through relationships, even though they may believe that they are in a monogamous relationship and that their partner loves them, they can’t assume that they will be monogamous,” Harvey said.
Harvey suggested that before quitting the use of condoms, couples should talk to each other about being monogamous and also get tested for STDs, considering the high percentage of couples who do break the monogamy agreement.
“I think that monogamy is something that’s really important to some people and you should definitely have a conversation about it,” said Andrea Gutierrez, a junior working at the OSU Women’s Center and double majoring in political science and ethnic studies. “There are so many risk factors involved with not being monogamous that if you don’t communicate with your partner, there could be some really dire consequences.”
Warren also mentioned that communication should be continuous throughout a sexual relationship.
“Another implication would be the importance and value of communication, and perhaps in certain settings, such as high school sexual education classes or intervention programs, we should help teach skills of communication,” Warren said. “We just have to talk about these things because our culture doesn’t encourage it, so we have to start modeling those behaviors.”
Harvey said that as people progress throughout the course of a relationship, they change their behavior toward one another by “letting down their defenses.” If one member of the couple truly believes that their partner loves them and cares about them, they might avoid bringing up the topic for fear of sounding accusatory.
No matter what kind of relationship is taking place, Warren and Harvey stressed that safe sexual practices are paramount.
“Monogamy isn’t for everybody, but there has to be some fundamental, basic understanding between partners determining what the boundaries are so that people can protect themselves from disease,” Warren said.