Dirty fun of “Air Sex” plows through initial dysfunction

By Josh Cain

Dirty fun of “Air Sex” plows through initial dysfunction

Eleven contestants strutted, danced and, most importantly, air humped their way to glory in front of a near capacity crowd at The Middle East in Cambridge for the Boston leg of the Air Sex World Championships on Friday.

As described by its website, the championships are “a lot like Air Guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, you’re making sweet and/or filthy love with an imaginary sex partner.”

But right from the start of the competition, there didn’t seem to be much love in the cramped space of The Middle East Upstairs.

Chris Trew, host of the championships for all of its nation-wide tour, had just four participants signed up at the start of the night. He needed nine.

“I’m hustling hard for contestants. . .this has never happened to us before,” Trew said.

At first, Trew prodded the fewer than 20 attendees who populated the room to sign up, but none seemed willing to let it all hang out on stage in front of the dozens more that would soon crowd the venue.

Audience members didn’t seem too concerned about the lack of passion.

Describing themselves as Air Sex “virgins,” Emily Savard and David S. looked forward to the display of faux sexuality.

“On the female side, I’m expecting lots of fake orgasms. . .That’s what I’m here for,” David S. said. “On the men’s side, I’m expecting ludicrous behavior in general.”

One of the competition’s judges, Gretchen, a comedian from Boston who declined to giver her last name, wasn’t exactly sure what would be the winning touch for the any of the contestants, but she did know what she wanted to see.

“Beauty. Joy. Sweat. World Peace. Things of that nature,” she said. “[I’ll judge] carefully. I’m trying to pay attention to nuance. . .I’ll know it when I see it.”

She got what she asked for – despite the initial low participation, seven more contestants signed up to compete.

Standout contestants, with fake names like “Nuns with Guns and Penis Di Milo,” “Diamond Dave,” “Tiny Bubbles” and “Whiskey Chick” pleased the audience with their shows of sensuality.

Diamond Dave, a Gloucester resident, showed the audience his interpretation of a peeping Tom’s attempts to spy on some unsuspecting women, crawling across the stage on his stomach to the theme song from “Mission Impossible” as if he was sneaking through the ceiling tiles of a department store.

Dave explained that his inspiration for the show was news he heard while traveling in Sweden of a man who was spying on women in a supermarket bathroom.

Tiny Bubbles’ performance was a little more informative, warning of the slippery problems inherent with sex in the shower.

“I had an idea. . .I wanted to demonstrate a concept to the audience. I wanted to show them the dangers of having sex in the shower,” Bubbles said.

During her interview with Trew after her performance, Bubbles hammered her point home that shower sex was only for the most prepared.

“I think the attempt is worthwhile, but know what you’re doing before getting into it,” she said.

Contest winner “The Cock Queen,” won over the crowd with her apparent mastery of the aforementioned appendage and earned the chance to perform at the Air Sex Regionals in New York City, N.Y.

The judges were impressed with her enthusiasm.

“The great thing about Air Sex is that it’s a comedy show, but every once in a while you see how somebody actually has sex,” said one judge. “If I could move like that I’d have eight broken legs.”

Despite the unenthusiastic start, Trew said the championships in Boston were a memorable one.

“At first Boston worried me with lack of participation but in the end the city represented well. A definite highlight of the tour,” Trew said in an email.

For future shows and tour updates, find the Air Sex World Championships on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more here: http://www.dailyfreepress.com/news/dirty-fun-of-air-sex-plows-through-initial-dysfunction-1.2362688
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