Every story has distinct characters. The social butterfly. The social climber. The social outcast. The worst, however, and most dreaded character type in the story of life, is the social terrorist.
The social terrorist is the character guilty of “incessant and unwanted intrusion into each aspect of everyday life.”
Everyone knows a social terrorist. Social terrorists possess the uncanny and unfortunate skill of being present at the most ordinary of places, and at the most inconvenient times.
The one in your life story could conceivably be the guy who was your co-worker over the summer and now creepily asks you to play “World of Warcraft” with him (even though you don’t even play it) every time you’re in class. In addition, every time you walk to class, he has the disturbing ability to spot you and again ask you the same thing.
Maybe it’s that incredibly insecure girl who attempts to completely latch onto you because you once commented on her cute boots. Now everyday she seeks you out and asks you if her outfit looks okay; saying senseless things like, “does this make me look too dressed up, because I don’t want to look too dressed up. It can’t look like I tried too hard but I still have to look like I care.” Meanwhile, you roll your eyes and continue walking to class as she so desperately needles, pokes and prods for constant praise and attention.
It could even be that neighbor of yours. The one who has the annoying habit of taking the oft-spoken phrase, “make yourself at home,” to a whole new level. Rather than just asking for the standard neighborly cup of sugar to make chocolate chip cookies with, they also help themselves to a handful of Halloween candy, ask to use your printer to print off their 12-page project and conveniently always seem to have “run out of laundry soap,” therefore, they absolutely need to borrow yours.
How are social terrorists to be dealt with?
In the interest of your sanity, something must be done, but you wonder what.
There are several different approaches that may be used when dealing with a social terrorist.
The first is to kindly but firmly redirect them.
To the guy who endlessly inquires if you want to play “World of Warcraft,” you can kindly say, “thank you so much for the invite, but I’m not actually really interested in that whole thing, and I’m not into learning either. However, I bet that guy who sits two rows behind us in class who always wears the ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ shirt would be thrilled to play with you.”
This way, you have been polite, cleared up the fact in words that your disinterest will persist in the future, and you have offered him an alternative person to gravitate toward.
The second is to be honest.
Next time the insecure girl queries whether or not her outfit looks however she wishes it to appear, tell what you honestly think (without being too blunt). For example, “even though that puce sweater looks like it must keep you warm, I think maroon might be a color more suitable for you.” Make certain, however, to avoid any more future inquiry from her by adding, “but as long as you have confidence, you can wear anything.” If she isn’t sold on that, simply insist, “I don’t know much about fashion though, so you should really start asking someone who is a fashionista for that sort of advice.”
A third approach that may be taken when a social terrorist is on your hands is to simply diagnose them.
However, do not point your finger at their forehead and through clenched teeth and mutter, “You social terrorist.”
Instead, when your neighbor pops their head in your door asking to again borrow your laundry soap, calmly reply, “why yes you may; first however, I would like the $___(insert amount) for it, as it does all add up and can become rather expensive.” The key in this situation is to remain calm and cordial but firm as well. As long as you consistently reinforce your anti-freeloader policies, the point should make it across.
Though social terrorists can be unpleasant characters to be surrounded by, they pop up without fail in every story. Every good story has some conflict, and in the story of life, the protagonist must always face these conflicts they are presented with, head on. Hopefully, these three approaches to dealing with social terrorists help each and every one of you protagonists in your life story.