This book made me laugh out loud on the bus. Enough said.

But seriously, “Sh*t My Dad Says” is hilarious, and if you follow Justin Halpern’s Twitter feed that evolved into this book — it’s for you. The bio for the Twitter account reads, “I’m 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome, I just write down shit that he says.”

That pretty much sums up the core of the book. Each short chapter begins with a quote from Halpern’s dad, Sam, and ends with several quotes on varying topics. These blurbs are so quotable, it’s ridiculous. I read about 50 percent of the book to my roommate while I was reading it (it’s short — 176 pages — and mostly quotes, so don’t feel too bad for her).

Unfortunately, the elder Halpern has a penchant to swear. All the time. Finding something to quote in this newspaper review was a bit challenging.

But Sam Halpern is so funny, I had to give it a shot.

Some selections:

“The worst thing you can be is a liar… Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is a liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

Then there’s this gem:

“Pick your furniture like you pick a wife: It should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past they want to steal it.”

And then my favorite (at least that was fit for print):

“Are you wearing perfume? …Son, there ain’t any cologne in this house, only your mother’s perfume. I know that scent, and let me tell you, it’s disturbing to smell your wife on your thirteen-year-old son.”

And if you think you have a good idea of what Sam Halpern is like from those quotes, the chapters give an even better idea. The chapters tell stories from Justin’s childhood and young adult life — from Justin’s point of view.

They are embarrassing, funny and often kind of moving. There is clearly a lot of love between the father and son, and the chapters convey that even more than the quotes do.

I appreciate the occasional seriousness of the stories, because they temper the more raunchy or mean quotes. It’s not a one-dimensional book intended only for cheap laughs — it’s about a father and son and their relationship.

But it is funny as sh*t, too.