The latest “A Nightmare on Elm Street” remake revisits one of my all-time, top horror films and horror icons, Freddy Krueger. So much for dreaming big.

The premise brought over from the original remains one of the greatest concepts ever imagined by fright-master Wes Craven. The fact that this horribly burnt man with a deadly razor-adored glove can even kill us in our dreams, the one place we are supposed to be safe, makes one wonder how on earth can we escape this terrifying menace.

It’s certainly true that the original series of films lost their way. The majority bombed as Freddy Krueger became someone we’d support for his hilariously dark and cheesy one-liners. The last time we saw Freddy was in the unbelievably stupid, (but just great over-the-top silly fun) “Freddy vs. Jason.” It was clear that Freddy needed to become scary once again and keep us wide awake with fear.

But it just didn’t happen. The plot, with just one or two unimpressive tweaks from the original, is that the teens of Springwood, Ohio, are being terrorized in their dreams by Freddy Krueger. They don’t know why he’s coming for them, but it’s clear that the parents know something. The kids are determined to get to the bottom of it before falling asleep with their lives at stake. You’d expect a buildup of tension and fear that boils over until your armrest cant take the strain any more. Not so here. This “nightmare” stumbles along aimlessly like a drunk. There’s no sense of impending doom, just lazy pacing and the occasional jump that you’ll forget in a nano-second.

It’s not so much awful as just oppressively dull and “by the numbers” horror film making. The idea of micro-naps where reality and dreams are unclear is a good one, but even then, we can still tell when they’re coming from the next field over. For a “re-imagining,” the number of famous moments and lines ripped from the original is just ridiculous. Sure, they may have been given a slight gloss thanks to advances in special effects, but as I’ve always said, excessive blood and guts and flashy CGI do not make a good horror film. It’s interesting to note that first time film and former music video director, Samuel Bayer, is on record as saying, “If people say it looks like a music video, then I have failed.” Oh ho, Mr. Bayer, you do make my job too easy.

The “teen actors” are so unbelievably wooden and lack any ability to show shock or fear that you could replace them with trees, and you wouldn’t notice a difference. In fact, you may feel more compelled to sympathize when they get cut down (last pun, I promise).

The saddest part about this film is that the effort put into the character of Freddy is totally wasted. Were it not for appalling direction, drones of a supporting cast and a script of lame one-liners, I’m willing to say he would have been absolutely terrifying. The remake was always going to suffer, however, because the original has Johnny Depp’s first big screen performance. This doesn’t, so clearly it loses.

This trend of remaking, oh I beg your pardon, “re-imagining” *cough* the classic horror films has got to stop. They may look slightly old now, but that’s what gives them their charm. In particular with the original “Nightmare,” the simpler effects look a thousand times better and more realistic. The originals hold a place in our hearts so much because they had story, depth, relateable characters and were masters of suspense and sheer terror. Hollywood, it’s time to stop “re-imagining” and start imagining once again.

This will not give you nightmares, and the only people who’ll finally be able to sleep well again are the Pullman Village Center Cinemas staff because I’ll no longer be around to tell people to stop seeing certain films, and therefore cutting potential business.

Goodbye and sleep well …