You know those times when that obnoxious “friend” of yours tells you a painfully weak and obvious joke, then spends a long time afterward explaining the joke and laughing their head off thinking they’re a born comedian? Welcome to the world of “Hot Tub Time Machine.”
The film centers on three childhood best friends (and for some appalling tackedon reasoning, the nerdy “tweenager” cousin of John Cusack’s character who sticks out like a clean white filling in a mouth of rotten teeth) whose lives are currently on the downturn and seek to relive their childhood debauchery and excitement of youth in the ultimate ’80s cliche film location: a ski lodge. While having a wild time in the hot tub, a can of illegal Russian energy drink spills onto the control panel and suddenly sends them back to 1986 – yes really. A far cry from the childhood dream of any sensible person who would imagine driving a DeLorean at 88.8 mph.
Quite appropriate that I should reference “Back to the Future” (if you want a brilliant film about the ’80s and time travel, watch that instead and save some money). “Hot Tub Time Machine” is a montage/fanboy love letter to all other time travel films, most of which also took place in the ’80s. While watching the film and picking up on the references, naturally the thought will pop into your head: “Man, I really wish I was watching that film instead!” Stars from the ’80s – such as Crispin Glover, AKA George McFly, and Chevy Chase – make appearances in the film. Poison even shows up for the film to try and flash its authenticity badge to get into the big boys’ club of classic time travel films. But not even with a kick-ass soundtrack, largely consisting of one of my own favorite bands, Motley Crue, can save this atrocity. The plot is nonexistent. The film has so many plot holes that it would embarrass even the finest of Swiss cheeses. Or maybe the writers wouldn’t know a good script if it hit them in the face, and boy, would I get more pleasure out of seeing that happen than I ever could have from this disaster of a “comedy.”
There is zero ingenuity or creativity here. I’m not expecting such a tired genre to be completely original, but the crudity, smut and the film’s running misconception that nonstop use of the F-bomb equals comedic gold is just sad and pathetic. A true example of a fun and carefree ’80s ski film pastiche would be the cruelly underrated “Out Cold” starring Zach Galifianakis. I urge you to see that film, which has genuinely funny moments and actual human characters, unlike the cold-blooded reptiles that inhabited the hot tub.
Cusack goes from winning teenage hearts in boombox scene from “Say Anything” to an intolerably smug insurance deadbeat. His cousin Jacob (Clark Duke) does nothing but exist stereotypical nerd role. Every second Lou (Rob Corddry) is on screen, you’ll feel the urge to punch something just to relieve the tension of how obnoxious his swearing-sex-pest-alcoholic-moron personality is, and he is supposed to be the film’s “funny guy.”
The only character who has any depth whatsoever or any funny lines is Craig Robinson as Nick. It’s great that an underrated comedy actor is finally getting onto the main character list. It’s just a shame this had to be the vehicle in which he does it. He gets arguably the only laugh-out-loud line in the whole film when, to determine what decade they are actually in, he quizzes a girl about the color of Michael Jackson, only to be terrified by her response of “black.” Robinson also successfully summed up my whole feeling for the film when he stares deadpan straight into the camera after deducing the existence of the hot tub. I wasn’t smiling or laughing, either.
The movie is a messy mishmash of crude and disgusting frat boy humor scenarios that required no level of skill to write. Your eyes will feel like they have been soiled. It is such a bad film that you’ll be rushing for a cold shower rather than a hot tub. As for me, I think I’ll be asking Doc Brown to loan me the DeLorean so I can keep my money and two humorless hours that could have been spent watching a better film … like “Back to the Future.”