Posted on 14 July 2014.
WARNING: This story may trigger some readers.
Jessica Brown informed her family, friends and the police immediately after she was sexually assaulted. She received incredible support after that horrific night in April 2001, but the incident still ate at her.
Whenever she left her suburban home, she’d tell her father, “Watch me walk from the front door to the car,” just to be safe. She felt ashamed for wearing “pretty underwear” the night of the assault. As supportive as her friends and family were, none of them could possibly know what she was going through.
So Brown, 27 years old at the time, searched the Internet for some place to get support. About a month after she was assaulted, she stumbled upon Pandora’s Aquarium, a message board where sexual assault survivors could post their stories. Brown wrote her story under an anonymous name. When she clicked submit, she felt relieved but also terrified. She was sharing her story with the world. Would people react kindly?
Her fears dissipated. She got support from people who experienced the same pain, and it helped her heal.
“That might be one drawback to posting on Facebook anonymously,” Brown said. “You don’t know who your audience is.”
Recently, several survivors have posted anonymously on Facebook in search of the same healing Brown sought 13 years ago.
From June 15-29 of this year, the University of Oregon Confessions Facebook page posted four stories from anonymous survivors. Commenters unanimously supported these confessors at first, but the tone shifted when the third post appeared on June 24. One commenter asked the confessor, “How about you stop sulking about your past and live up your summer?” and several said the page was the wrong platform for survivors.
Debate raged on the page into July, causing several people to question UO Confessions’ true purpose.
While people like Brown believe an anonymous outlet can be cathartic for survivors, others dispute the real value of these survivor accounts. Are these people getting help elsewhere? Which forum is best for them? And what do these posts say about a culture where rape permeates?
To post a Facebook confession, someone simply has to click a link on the confessions page, write a short post and submit it. If the administrators deem a confession worthy of publication, they post it. The UO Confessions administrators declined to comment for this story.
But even these postings leave a digital footprint. Sameer Hinduja, a professor at Florida Atlantic University and co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center, said while confessions page administrators don’t know the writers’ identities, law enforcement can still work with social media platforms to determine who submits each confession if a possible crime is involved.
If police have enough specific information to pursue an investigation, they could have a court subpoena the page and discover the poster’s identity, according to University of Oregon Police Department spokesman Kelly McIver. However, that still doesn’t guarantee an admission from the confessor.
“You’d have to have a pretty interesting confluence of circumstances to find a person who said, ‘Yeah, I posted this,’” said McIver, who strongly encourages people to report all crimes and suspicious conditions to the police.
Facebook confession pages started gaining popularity about a year and a half ago and the UO Confessions page was created in December 2012. The confessions page for Chico State encountered a similar situation to UO Confessions. On March 24 of this year, the first of eight survivor posts appeared on Chico College Confessions, and the rest appeared over the next two months.
One of the Chico page’s administrators, Alberto Chavez, remembers feeling shocked when these submissions starting rolling in, but he didn’t want to ignore them, so the stories were posted. Unlike UO Confessions, almost every comment supported the survivors.
“We were glad we did put that on the page because I think the (survivors) got the help they needed,” Chavez says.
Like UO Confessions, many Chico commenters suggested survivors get help elsewhere, but some seemed commanding. BB Beltran, the executive director of Sexual Assault Support Services, believes suggesting survivors get help elsewhere is problematic.
“The problem comes in when the word ‘should’ is used,” Beltran says.
She stresses that survivors should do what they think is most helpful. If posting on a Facebook page accomplishes that, she fully supports it.
Several UO Confessions commenters argue that the page’s sole purpose is to be humorous.
“The greater majority of these students have not dealt with rape or sexual assault firsthand, and do not know how to react when such a topic is mentioned,” said Duncan Alexander, a junior business and economics major at the UO.
Alexander, who knows a survivor, said these posts might provide instant relief, but feels this might prevent survivors from getting more meaningful help.
Christina Cooley, a senior cultural anthropology major, agrees that UO Confessions might not be the best place for this kind of discussion because its audience isn’t receptive to these types of confessions. Many commenters have told the survivors not to share their stories on the page.
“That’s the kind of commentary that keeps it from being resolved, that keeps people silent and suffering from it,” she said.
These posts might be discomforting to read, but Cooley said that it might be a good thing because it could cause people to consider the seriousness of this issue.
Carol Stabile, a UO professor and director of the Center for the Study of Women in Society said, “someone pays for the party.” In other words, people often suffer in a party culture like the one emphasized on UO Confessions, and she believes people should be able to talk on this page about the party culture’s casualties (i.e. rape survivors).
Survivors often feel hesitant to report assaults, Stabile said, because a stigma attaches to so many who come forward. Plus, the criminal justice system often fails to punish perpetrators. Maybe some survivors feel the only place they can go is an anonymous online forum.
“Where else are you going to do it where it’s less consequence-free?” Stabile said.
Multiple commenters on the UO Confessions page have mentioned support groups like SASS where survivors can get help while remaining anonymous. Beltran said in general it’s standard practice for community-based agencies similar to SASS to offer anonymous services.
While agencies like SASS, Facebook confessions pages, applications such as Whisper and bathroom walls have served as anonymous outlets for survivors, Pandora’s Aquarium (expanded into Pandora’s Project) might be the most popular destination for these people.
“Over 50,000 have passed through our virtual doors,” Brown said of Pandora’s Project. “It’s international.”
Brown, the organization’s co-founder, said while counseling services offered at universities can be helpful, their schedules are often too limited (the UO offers a 24-hour hotline for survivors).
“When you’ve been sexually assaulted, you’re dealing with that all week long,” Brown said. “You might be sitting there at 2 o’clock in the morning and something’s eating you alive and it’s really helpful just to post your feelings.”
But Brown also said that every survivor heals differently. Ultimately, she thinks the worst thing survivors can do is keep their experiences to themselves. Simply getting it off their chest can be healing, which is why she believes a Facebook confessions page might be a great place for survivors to flock.
“It’s just one way of saying, ‘I’m not going to let this shame control me,’” Brown said.
Jennica Asbury contributed reporting for this story
Follow Victor Flores on Twitter @vflores415