Week 4 has come and gone and so has what Cheryl Frasier from Miss Congeniality considers to be the perfect date: “April 25, because it’s not too hot, not too cold — all you need is a light jacket.” I’m sure most people’s days have been full of midterms, while the rest of the world has yet to solve its 99 (and then some) problems.

So, ICYMI (or, in case you missed it, for those of you who don’t do acronyms) the refugee crisis is still hot and heavy in and around the European Union. Masses of people from the Middle East and North Africa have been leaving their countries as a result of war and poverty for over a year now, and unfortunately, conditions for these migrants have not improved. To get to Europe (in hopes of a better life) many individuals and families pay smugglers to get them across water and land, but saying these smugglers are sketchy is a complete understatement.

On April 20, it was reported by the UN Refugee Agency that a ship that was en route from Libya to Italy last week capsized and as many as 500 people may have died. Sound familiar? The last time a tragedy of this capacity took place was almost a year ago exactly when more than 800 people died from a shipwreck, also in the Mediterranean Sea between Libya and Italy.

This makes me want to ask the UN so many questions. How are these human smugglers in the Mediterranean still getting away with their horrifying ways? Why did the EU make such a fuss last month about its “turn-around-asylum-seekers” deal with Turkey if it’s not actually helping the crisis? And overall, why haven’t organizations like the UN taken a more aggressive approach to the matter because clearly, the EU has not fixed much?

Who knows — it could’ve been a tidal wave that caused the capsizing to occur. I’m telling you, nothing positive seems to ever be associated with the word “tidal,” since it’s also the cause of the recent deprivation I’ve been feeling in regard to streaming songs by Beyoncé.

The two-year-old music streaming service, TIDAL, is currently owned by Bey’s hubby: Jay-to-the-Z. Mr. Knowles wanted a place for people to stream his music, along with other fellow artists’ work, on a platform independent from groups like Apple and Spotify. The result: this unnecessary site in which people like Yoncé and Kanye West hide their music from the rest of the world (#smh).

But, drama. There have been rumors circulating about a tiff between Beyoncé and Jay Z. So what does Blue Ivy’s mom do? Probably the most heinous act that she could have ever possibly done: Bey released her newest album, Lemonade, on iTunes and Amazon for purchase last weekend.

The surprise album dropped on April 23 after an HBO hour-long event — yes, another one — that USA Today described as a “docu-style special.” In other words, Queen B and HBO casually made a weekend out of the singer’s sixth solo album premier with this mini-movie and bumped programs like the season-six premiere of Game of Thrones and Jurassic World up an hour on Sunday for a rerun of Lemonade.

Not a lot of honey from her Beyhive was added to Lemonade. Instead, a lot of people got a bitter taste in their mouths with theories that all the heartbreak shown throughout the visual album is a jab at Jay Z and his rumored infidelity. Like most of Beyoncé’s recent work, Lemonade is a cryptic project that shouldn’t be taken too drastically, imo.

While Beyoncé continues her musical legacy, one artist saw his end on April 21. Prince Rogers Nelson, who was best known as Prince, passed away at the age of 57 from an unknown cause. According to CNN, “he was found dead inside an elevator at his Paisley Park Studios” in Chanhassen, Minnesota. Many are remembering his incredible career through creative tributary pieces, and I think one of my favorites that has popped up is Bruce Springsteen’s cover of “Purple Rain” that he performed on April 23 at the Barclays Center.

MTV finally playing music videos again was also pretty great, besides the fact that it took Prince’s death to spark the movement. Now I’m almost afraid to ask, but what needs to happen for the network to stop with its scripted shows?

If Kobe Bryant had a Tinder profile, he would include only three photos to represent himself, since filling all six slots are for people who need to try.

The first picture would be an epic full-body shot of his playing basketball because, well, if a girl isn’t a jersey chaser to some degree, Mamba isn’t for her. Swipers would get a sense of his athleticism, build and intensity just through this initial picture.

Next would be a tighter shot of his face with a SnapChat filter on it — a filter that adds a little animation and shows Kobe can be silly, but also one that doesn’t distort his (refined) looks. And third, Mr. Bryant would include a picture of him and a child (who clearly isn’t his) walking hand-in-hand to illustrate how philanthropic, kind-hearted and again, how tall he is (since that’s a thing on Tinder).

In his bio, he would write, “24. It’s not my age. It’s my life.” Followed by one yellow and one purple heart and then a daisy chain of basketball emojis. And after April 13, he would add to his photos a screenshot of his Tweet that reads, “Mamba may be out, but I’ll still be in,” respective of his departure from the NBA.

At 37, Bryant’s two decades in the NBA, which he spent entirely as a Laker, got him five championship rings, two Olympic medals and earned him the title of MVP of the NBA All-Star Game four time.

This all ended with a bang in a game against the Utah Jazz. The Lakers (obviously) won the match up 101-96, thanks to the 60 points Bryant scored himself. I mean, the man has reached 81 points before in a single game in the past, so I was a little underwhelmed. *insert side eyes emoji*

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Nonetheless, celebrities infiltrated Staples Center to watch Bryant say adios (literally – who knew he spoke fluent Spanish?) in his final game. From members of the Throne, aka Kanye West and Jay Z (sans Bey), one-third of the Beckham clan, Snoop D-O-double-G , Adam Levine and his wife Behati, the Weeknd and gf Bella Hadid, Kobe’s former teammates Lamar Odom and Shaq and per usual, Jack (the-ultimate-Lakers-fangirl) Nicholson.

People jumped out of their seats with every swish of a Bryant basket. A reel of Mamba’s epic triumphs coupled with interviews by fellow NBA stars and other celebrities was shown. To say the least, homage was paid to “God,” as said by Kanye/Yeezus (the ultimate culprit of blasphemy) – Kendrick Lamar even made him a hit.

While both lovers and haters of Kobe were shaken by the legend’s NBA retirement, places like Myanmar, Japan and Ecuador experienced some real, physical shakes this past week.

On April 13, Myanmar was hit by a 6.9 magnitude earthquake. There were no reported deaths as a result; however, a number of residents in nearby Bangladesh experienced injuries. Just one day later, Japan felt a magnitude-6.2 quake, which was closely followed by another at 7.0 on Saturday.

USA Today reported that 41 people were killed by the natural disasters and around 11 individuals are missing. In South America, Ecuador got it the worst this week with a magnitude-7.8 tremble late April 16, resulting in the deaths of around 413 people and 1,500 injuries.

Seismic experts have commented that the back-to-back earthquakes around the globe are, in fact, a tragic coincidence and they are unrelated to one another.

If you’re looking to forget about the tragedies of the real world for a while, Netflix, as usual, has got you. On April 15, the Netflix Original, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt returned to my life with 13 new episodes. Season two of the series was full of hilarity in the form of masked societal jabs and musical numbers by the infamous Titus Andromedon.

The story of Kimmy, played by The Office’s Ellie Kemper, resumes as she is still learning how to maneuver through life after having been held captive for 15 years in an underground bunker. This season, we are graced with appearances by Fred Armisen, who brings some Portlandia greatness to the screen and, unsurprisingly, more ingenious stories.

Have you ever thought about world peace and universal tolerance when it comes to religious diversity? If you have, I’m sure it was nothing more than a far-fetched idea — a dream, really — that only beauty pageant contestants and little kids have taken seriously.

But I’m here to tell you there’s hope for the world — hope that has been vocalized through none other than the voice of God: Morgan Freeman. (Not to be blasphemous, of course. Just think: Bruce Almighty and its sequel, Evan Almighty).

The man who can make anything sound interesting and important worked with the National Geographic Channel on the long-awaited, six-part miniseries, The Story of God. It premiered on April 3 and continued on April 11. The program follows Freeman on an international voyage in which he attempts to answer questions such as,“How has God helped us answer the biggest questions about our place in the universe?” and “How do our beliefs connect us all?” in one epic story.

Subjects of science, afterlife, evil and the apocalypse are all examined. The show takes viewers to places like Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas; the Pasupathi Nath Temple in Varanasi, India; a mosque in Cairo, Egypt; the Western Wall in Jerusalem and a science lab in Geneva, Switzerland.

The premiere of the event series racked in about 3.5 million viewers, making The Story of God the fourth most-watched telecast of all time for Nat Geo and the network’s most watched program thus far in 2016.

The program I was flipping back and forth through while watching Morgan do his thang was one that also answered a worldly question: Why must Rebel Wilson expose her privates on national television? Also on Sunday night, and also bringing in around 3.5 million viewers, the outlandish MTV Movie “Awards” aired.

For the last 23 years, MTV has closed out the Hollywood award season by not just being a normal award show, but a cool award show. This is the program that is meant to consist of informal-attire only, young vibes, entertaining acts and some scandalous aspects that are too awkward to watch with your parents.

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I’m usually a fan of MTV award shows, but for me, it fell a bit short this year and not just because Kevin Hart was co-hosting. First, it all took place outdoors in the Warner Bros. production lot, so it had a different feel from past years. Then, there were way too many sci-fi-related things happening, and I just wasn’t having it.

I get it —The Avengers, Superman, Batman and Star Wars all hold great cultural significance in the world, but I could’ve done with a little less of those, and more Khaleesi or something. That was my favorite part of the night: when Khaleesi, aka Daenerys Targaryen, aka Emilia Clarke (IRL), was on stage for all of two minutes. She did a killer Borat accent and told Andy Samberg her father “hates” him — her words, not mine.

The other thing MTV got right was the list of winners for the night. J-Law won Best Hero for her (BA) performance in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2. Ryan Reynolds, or Mr. Lively, took home Best Fight and Best Comedic Performance for Deadpool. Adam Driver (you know, bae from Girls) won Best Villain for that one movie Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Amy Poehler got Best Virtual Performance for the (cutest) movie (ever) Inside Out, the Straight Out of Compton crew (deservingly) scored Best True Story and Will Smith got jiggy for the Generation Award.

Much pop. Very culture.

Even more underwhelming than the “entertainment” at the Movie Awards are the elections here on campus. Looks like Duck Squad is out and One Oregon and I’m with UO are about to throw down during week 3. There seems to be a little less drama surrounding campus politics this year with the exception of One Oregon’s wild tactics last week that gave them a fat slap on the wrist. Bribery is a no-no and stalking freshmen in the residence halls is too.

On April 11, ASUO banned the slate headed by ­­­­­­Zach Rentschler from campaigning until 9 a.m. on April 13 because they gave out pizza in exchange for votes in the Global Scholars Hall and they tried to bribe some members of the fraternity, Lambda Chi Alpha, not with pizza. One Oregon’s mischievous behavior was kept very G-rated.

Responses to the question, “How was your weekend?” took on a whole new persona this Monday. Stories were a little less humdrum than usual, and I loved it.

From skipping around the rows of flowers at the Woodburn Shoe Tulip Festival, to successfully executing April Fools’ Day pranks on innocent victims, to finally catching the new Batman V Superman movie, thrill seemed to be on many people’s agendas this week.

But the mother of all action this past weekend was the controversial type – the world was exposed to The Panama Papers. The epically titled leak was massive. Huge. Ginormous. Remember the whole WikiLeaks scandal of 2010 by everyone’s second favorite silver fox (after Anderson Cooper) Julian Assange?

Well, take his 1.7 GB of findings on classified U.S. diplomatic cables and multiply it by more than 900 times. That gives you around the size of what we’re looking at with The Panama Papers.

Basically, an anonymous source from a German newspaper obtained 2.6 TB of 11.5 million financial and legal documents from the world’s fourth largest offshore law firm, Mossack Fonseca, which is based in Panama. What did all this leaked data contain, you ask? Major exploitation.

The German newspaper shared the records with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, who relayed the information to a number of its international partners, including the Guardian and the BBC. Thus the world saw the crookedness behind the Mossack Fonseca firm, as well as all the heads of state, celebrities and other filthy rich people who had accounts with them. Money laundering, tax evading and just all-out hiding billions of dollars are what this offshore firm was made of – just like the movies.

Things weren’t looking good for a lot of the world’s big shots like Russian President Vladimir Putin. On April 3, the Guardian brought to light how the leaked documents show a $2 billion trail that indirectly leads to none other than Putin. I hate to say it, but I’m not surprised. It seems like as days go on, more and more justification for the international “I Hate Putin Club” just continues to surface.

Then, there was the resignation of Iceland Prime Minister Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson on April 5. The Icelandic people put on mass protests to get their PM to step down, and once he finally did, the BBC noted it as “the first major casualty of the leaked Panama Papers.”

Haven’t any of these rich crooks seen Spotlight, All the President’s Men or The Insider? Investigative journalists expose corruption — it’s kind of their job.

Along with journalists being good at what they do, another given in today’s world is people protesting outside of the White House. It happens just about every day, but on April 2, a rally took place at the capital unlike any other. The D.C. Cannabis Campaign and other attendees lit up outside of President Obama’s residences to get him and his administration to put more money into research for marijuana and its medicinal value, along with pardoning the pot offenders in jail.

I have to give kudos to the protestors for 1) getting stoned left and right and not caring about Secret Service and other security trying to stop them, 2) blowing up a 51-foot inflatable “joint” and using it as a causal prop, 3) no one getting arrested.

Hopefully, their tactics impressed more people than just me, and being 420-friendly will become more acceptable. You never know; this could be one of Obama’s closing projects as his presidency is (sadly) coming to an end this year.

Sadness came over Eugene and Salem this past week when a first-year UO student was killed in a train accident on April 1. Connor James’ body was found on railroad tracks near the Northwest Expressway in North Eugene. According to the Lane County Sheriff’s Office, James’ death appeared to be an accident and it is plausible that he was trying to climb onto the back of a train but fell.

The James family will hold a celebration of life for the 18-year-old at the Salem Alliance Church on Saturday, April 9, at 11 a.m. They have also created a GoFundMe.com memorial fund in honor of the Sprague High School graduate. The proceeds will support Sprague’s lacrosse team, the sport James played for many years of his life.

The sun is out, syllabi have been distributed, ASUO elections are here to haunt and taunt us and finding parking has become a competitive sport once again. Smells like the start of spring term to me!

If national politics weren’t giving you premature wrinkles from all the times you raised your eyebrows in awe, you can count on the ASUO elections to do the job. Looking to lead the university’s student government are three individuals, representing three different slates: Zach Rentschler for One Oregon, Samara Mokaya for Duck Squad and Quinn Haaga for I’m with UO.

If this year’s election season is going to be anything like past years, you can expect some forceful campaigning, petty grievances and other dramatic twists and turns, sometimes involving lawsuits and arrests.

It’s quite humorous to me because as someone who has never been involved with student government, it seems like there’s a lot of commotion around springtime elections. Then once it’s all over, students retreat and the ASUO continues quietly doing the same (busy) work it has always done.

But, as one for democracy and inalienable rights, I encourage you all to vote. You never know, maybe positive change and progression on our campus will come from one of these slates. Voting opens on Monday, April 4. Make sure you peruse the Emerald’s “A crash-course on student government at UO” parts 1, 2 and 3 at dailyemerald.com to understand how it all works.

“Let’s not make this a popularity contest” is what people say about campus elections and about last week’s Instagram Algorithm Apocalypse threat. For days leading up to March 29, the photo-sharing platform was abuzz about a proposed update that would order Instagram users’ newsfeeds by whom they interact with most rather than in reverse chronological order, as it is now.

This idea of algorithmic sorting left people disgruntled, along with some companies and other organizations that count on Instagram as a promotion tool. I personally don’t see this as a huge deal — some people I follow but don’t like or comment on their posts that much would fall to the bottom of my feed. Facebook made a similar change a while back and that seems to be working.

Because of all the negative feedback Instagram received about the update and all the aggressive PSAs warning people about the coming “apocalypse,” Instagram tweeted on March 29: “We’re listening and we assure you nothing is changing with your feed right now. We promise to let you know when changes roll out broadly.”

May the ‘gramming commence, artists.

Other news blowing up my feed, unfortunately, was the UO men’s basketball team’s loss in the NCAA  tournament. It is sad that the Ducks’ run is over, but we can be proud of how far they got.

Head coach Mike Krzyewski and his No. 4 Duke squad were outscored by the No. 1 Ducks in the Sweet 16 82-68.

Oregon Ducks forward Elgin Cook (23) sits in the huddle during a timeout. The No. 1 Oregon Ducks take on the No. 8 Saint Joseph’s Hawks in the second round of the NCAA Tournament at the Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena in Spokane, Wash. on March 20, 2016. (Adam Eberhardt/Emerald)

It was an absolute spectacle of a game! Stars like Kobe Bryant and wife Vanessa were in attendance. It all ended with a cherry on top when Dillon Brooks hit a three-point shot at the buzzer that made Coach K’s Blue Devil horns expose themselves.

The Duke leader had to spend March 25 apologizing to Oregon head coach Dana Altman and Brooks himself for his statement after the defeat in which he said Brooks is “too good of a player to be showing off in the end.”

Oregon’s game against No. 2 Oklahoma was also an exciting show, but sadly not for Duck fans, resulting in a 80-68 defeat. The Sooners’ Buddy Hield was a force that could not be beat. The Oklahoma senior scored an impressive 37 points against the Ducks and he told fans to “blame it on Kobe.” Hield cozied up with the retiring Laker during Oklahoma’s Sweet 16 game against Texas A&M and the rest is history — a love story for the books.

Early Tuesday morning — on March 22 at around 1 a.m. — I realized two things: Brussels was under attack, and I really need to turn the volume down on my BBC Breaking News phone alerts. Not long after receiving the news about explosions at the Brussels Zaventem Airport did I have another BBC News alert-induced almost-heart attack. This time, it was about explosions at the Maelbeek metro station in the city’s downtown, which is close to the EU’s core offices.

Once I read about the events, there was no doubt in my mind that the city was yet another world victim of Islamic State terrorism. Ever since the Paris attacks last November, a lot of international counterterrorism efforts have been focused in the Western European city of Brussels because suspects of the attacks were said to have retreated to the area.

Just four days prior to the Brussels Airport and metro explosions, Salah Abdelslam — the most wanted man in Europe who was the only surviving suspect connected to the attacks in Paris — was captured.

According to the New York Times — as of noon on Tuesday — at least 10 people died in the two airport explosions, and about 20 people were killed in the subway blast. More than 230 others were wounded. It has also been reported that at least one of the two explosions at the airport’s departure hall was a suicide attack.

There is little information on how the tragedies came to be, except that it was an ISIS concoction, but one key source has been CCTV footage, which captured images of the possible assailants in Zaventem Airport.

These catastrophes that we’ve been seeing so much of as of late are horrible in a number of ways: people dead and wounded, the difficulty behind how to find and contain the assailants, the politics in the background that we, the public, don’t see.

Then, there are people’s reactions all over media that have grown unbearable for me. There are politicians who point fingers; the news on T.V. is full of noisy commentators and there are citizens on social media who, often but not always, also give unnecessary input on the current events.

I’m not sure what the “right” way would be to respond to tragedy, especially when they are acts of horrible terrorism, so that, I think, is where the root of my frustration lies. Rant over.

Now, on Tuesday morning, the public was also graced with a sleepy and solemn President Obama in a news conference about the Brussels attacks and when he would conclude his trip to Cuba. The POTUS came at us Straight Outta Havana (and we’re done with that) and began with saying he would do “‘whatever is necessary’ to support Belgium,” according to the Associated Press.

The President’s trip to Cuba has proven to be a successful one on the whole U.S.-Cuba relations front. On March 20, the POTUS, FLOTUS and the two DOTUS’s (?) made their way into Havana for a momentous, yet brief, Spring Break. It was the first time in almost 90 years that a U.S. president paid an official visit to our longtime communist neighbor, and boy, was he determined to try to bury the “last remnant” of the Cold War.

By the looks of things, it seems as though President Obama and Cuban President Raul Castro made friendly and some progressive conversations took place. Some topics of interest that got the Cuban public thinking included the U.S. embargo on Cuba and how it needs to go, Cuban citizens’ human rights and the word “democracy.”

And it wasn’t Castro that Obama was really trying to get at: “Many suggested that I come here and ask people of Cuba to tear something down, but I’m appealing to the young people of Cuba who will lift something up, building something new.”

Someone else who seems to want to appeal to young people and other Instagram users, in general, is Pope Francis who joined the picture-sharing social media platform on March 19. The Vatican leader has been socially active all over the Web for

Oregon Ducks forward Dillon Brooks (24) celebrates Oregon’s win after the game. The No. 1 Oregon Ducks take on the No. 8 Saint Joseph’s Hawks in the second round of the NCAA Tournament at the Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena in Spokane, Wash. on March 20, 2016. (Adam Eberhardt/Emerald)

a number of years now – with over 25 million Twitter followers – so his joining Instagram was evident.

After just 12 hours of opening his official account, the Pope reached over a million followers, one of them being @neginapepina, which is apparently “the fastest-growing Instagram account ever, according to the company.” Looks like his #follow4follow tags paid off. Get it, @franciscus!

Also, get it, Ducks! Am I right? Oregon’s men’s basketball made it into the Sweet 16 round of the NCAA March Madness tournament, in which they’ll face Duke on March 24 in a game that President Obama thinks our Oregon boys will not survive, according to his bracket.

Bleacher Report did an insightful little bracket comparison between the President’s picks and four college basketball “experts.” Unsurprisingly, Obama is sitting pretty against the other guys with 23 of 32 first-round winners guessed correctly and 10 of 16 second-round winners on point.

I think the powerful baller is doing better than just about the rest of the world, given that there have been more upsets by double-digit seeds in the first round than ever before in history. But, a girl can hope. Maybe the President will be wrong about the Ducks versus Duke matchup.

What a term it has been this winter. The theme? Failing and succeeding. We did it in sports, campus protests, Greek Life, the EMU renovations, Justin Bieber as he came and left and on an individual basis. We failed and succeeded in academia as well, I’m sure. It was a bumpy ride, and one that, I think, has made everyone thirsty for springtime (amongst other things).

As we make our way into “Spraaang Breaaaak” — to quote my favorite Franco, James — the men of UO basketball are about to see if they can add to all their success this past season. I hate to jump on the ole’ sports culture bandwagon, but I can’t help feeling excited for these boys who are making history with their no. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. I’m working to regain knowledge about how the sport works (instead of studying for my Friday final), since this is the part of my brain that hasn’t been used since around ‘08 when the Blazers caused a (positive) ruckus with a flavorful roster (think: B-Roy, Rudy, Batum, et al).

The NCAA March Madness games begin on Thursday, March 17. It all starts for Oregon a day later on the 18th. Oregon will play its first game up in Washington against the Southern Jaguars, apparently at 4:27 p.m. If this matchup starts a minute late, my Twitter followers will hear about it.

So, as I’ve been told by my b-ball-loving mates, March Madness starts with 64 teams. One by one, the teams will move through a bracket system, depending on the winners, who move up in the rounds, and the losers, who go home. It’s do or die, one for the books – and any other dramatic sports cliché out there.

There’s also a thing where fans can create their own brackets to see if they can predict how the tournament will turn out. Sometimes there’s money involved, similar to how fantasy sports work, but not always. Some people just make brackets to see if they have a fifth sense like ESPN or something; just make sure you channel your inner Karen Smith.

During his first year in office in 2009, President Obama correctly predicted that North Carolina would win the madness, and now, in his last year of presidency, bae hopes to do it again. On March 16, the POTUS revealed his 2016 bracket picks and he has chosen Kansas to take it all.

I am disappointed that he thinks Oregon will lose during its Sweet 16 matchup, which the President thinks will be against Duke. But at least we make it that far! I can’t say the same for Oregon State, who isn’t projected to progress at all after its first game against VCU. I’m always one for the underdog, and maybe the Ducks can prove the most powerful baller in the world wrong and win the whole thing. *Insert trophy emoji*

Speaking of winners, a local victory is in the works, depending on who you talk to. Albertsons grocery stores are making their way back into our lives. Two years ago, a Bellingham, Washington-based grocery store company Haggens bought out two Springfield and Eugene Albertsons stores because of the Albertson-Safeway merger. The switch in ownership happened all so fast, as did my yearning for the dark-to-light blue letters of Albertson’s name.

My drives around town became different, even more average than before – and the green cursive that screams “Haggens” at me hasn’t helped with the process of acceptance. But, none of this matters now since in the coming weeks, two of the popular Eugene locations, 30th and Hilyard and 18th and Chambers, along with a Springfield location, will see the return of our old friend Al as the result of another buyback.

Through the decades that I’ve lived in Eugene, I continue to find myself getting attached to certain places in town, especially when it comes to food. Some places that I develop a passion are local spots that you can’t find anywhere else, but sometimes I feel the same way for chain establishments that are most definitely not unique to Eugene. And with becoming attached, a lot of times, disappointment follows. Albertsons and Haggens are one example, and then, there was the Chipotle let down. There were outbreaks of diseases like E.coli, salmonella and norovirus at Chipotles around the country last year, which caused their sales to plummet, along with stocks invested in the company.

On March 16, executives of the chain explained how they are working to get their eatery back on track. Those free burrito coupons that went viral a few weeks back? That was them. About 3.5 million burritos were handed out for free with that texted coupon code as a tactic to prove that its food is safe and that people can stop boycotting them out of fear of getting sick. I have a tip for Chipotle, how about some free guac, no? I mean, that would draw me in more frequently. Just sayin’.

America: the land where we’re constantly fighting an 18th-century piece of paper.

The Springfield City Council has been doing a little back-and-forth action with the First Amendment the last few weeks ever since a law was proposed “to ban drivers from giving money to panhandlers while on public roadways,” as reported by the Register Guard on March 7. Those who are against the ban see it as a violation of Americans’ right to freedom of speech, since that’s what panhandling is often considered as.

If the City passes this regulation, then law enforcement is allowed to give out a $50 fine to all the (evil) drivers they see, willingly donating money and/or “property,” (aka granola bars and such) to the needy. All of this (immoral) activity would be categorized under the “Unlawful Transfer on Vehicular Portion of the Right of Way.” I guess the city code for “Operation: Let’s Try to Get Rid of the Homeless Population” was taken?

I see both good and bad with the ordinance, since I’ve seen and heard both positive and negative things when it comes to trying to help those on the streets. My problem, though, is that it’s a passive-aggressive approach to the homeless issue we have in the Eugene-Springfield area. This policy is just a roundabout way of stopping people from giving out donations because people who want to “clean up” the city see it as a “hazard.” Also, if Springfield passes this, I doubt Eugene would follow suit. So, wouldn’t all the panhandlers just move a little west where they have a chance of making some dough?

The government can be so illogical. I should just run for some seat in some city and bring some of my je ne sais quoi. My inspiration will be Claire Underwood and I’ll slowly make my way towards the… I’m not one for spoilers, so I’ll leave it at that.

The Underwoods made a bangin’ return on March 4 in the fourth season of House of Cards on Netflix. The 13 episodes are full of all the drama and backstabbing that the previous seasons graced us with, but I was, yet again, disappointed in the presence of one specific character who has yet to win me over: Dough Stamper. What I have been enjoying, so far, is how relevant the show has been to current events. With it being an election year IRL and all the controversy popping up here and there with the contender(s), the online series is echoing similar (but, exaggerated) sentiments.

If we’re talking IRL, let’s just say: Hill continues to thrill, while Bern makes me want to turn into a fern. And then there’s Trump, who doesn’t deserve anything to be rhymed with his name, just as he doesn’t deserve any more recognition, publicity or the ability to speak. The “man” is (frighteningly) winning his way through the primaries because of all the absurdity he stands for, as comedian Louis C.K. warns us all about in a perfectly-worded email from March 5 that was published by Variety.

His first few lines say it all:

P.S. Please stop it with voting for Trump. It was funny for a little while. But the guy is Hitler. And by that I mean that we are being Germany in the ‘30s. Do you think they saw the shit coming? Hitler was just some hilarious and refreshing dude with a weird comb over who would say anything at all.

So, enough, Trump supporters. The joke is dead, as is my faith in you people. If bigotry is what you seek in a leader, then there are other countries to move to—I’m happy to give recommendations.

Some people who won’t be needing my help, not now and not ever, for that matter, are the women of two UO sports that I know nothing about. Balls were tossed and caught in nets; girls were tossed and caught by, well, other girls, which means: Lacrosse and acrobatics and tumbling are a go!

After a 16-6 win on March 5, the UO LAX ladies experienced an unfortunate loss to High Point, 12-7, two days later. But these athletes are holding their netted sticks high for their next game on March 9 against George Mason. Get it, girls.

The acrobatics and tumbling team missed The Bachelor: The Women Tell All on Monday night as they were blowing the lid off of Matthew Knight Arena. I’m not sure how A&T scoring goes, but I do know the team got first place in every event at the meet on March 7. Instead of roses, these ladies achieved some of their best scores this season.

With all the news happening around the world all the time — the violence, corruption and terror — it’s always fun to take a peek at the local Eugene news for a breath of fresh, mundane air.

I don’t think the news could get any more “Oregon” than the Feb. 23 update by the Register-Guard about Ninkasi Brewing facing a fine of almost $7,000 by the state “for not properly keeping tabs on rainwater runoff, according to the state Department of Environmental Quality.” Basically, Ninkasi holds a Clean Water Act permit, which requires the company to monitor its stormwater discharge four times a year.

The microbrewery came up short on these seasonal checks this year at both its locations, on Van Buren Street and on Blair Boulevard. But wait, there’s more!

According to the Eugene Weekly, “Ninkasi can appeal the penalty, pay it or offset it by implementing a ‘supplemental environmental project’ ” — aka, they’d have to get crafty with something other than beer. Ideas like “rain gardens” and “stream restoration” have been thrown around.

More first-world news: everyone’s favorite white family has returned — Netflix premiered the first season of Fuller House on Feb. 26. The show that has made me give the Gilmore Girls a (short) break is a spinoff of the ever-cheesy Full House show that ran from 1987-95, telling the story of the Tanner family.

This time, D.J. is a widow with three young boys and her party-girl sister Stephanie and her quirky BFF Kimmy Gibbler move in to help her out. Just about everyone from the original show makes an appearance (and are greeted by the always-obnoxious “audience” cheers) — all but the Olsen Twins, that is.

Fuller House pokes fun at a lot of things in its 13 episodes (that I proudly watched in 48 hours) including just how cheesy Full House was and how much has changed in the world -mostly with technology and pop culture references- in the last 29 years since the OG show’s debut. There is also some adult humor thrown in, which doesn’t always land right.

On Sunday, I took a break from the endless hugs on Fuller House and did something that still surprises me: I went to the Oregon men’s basketball game instead of staying home and watching the 88th Academy Awards.

The Ducks performed well with an 86-73 win against the Huskies. The halftime show was odd and entertaining — as a halftime show should be. All in all, senior night with the boys was a good time with some nostalgic undertones.

The metaphoric cherry on top of the end-of-season home games was the big reveal on Feb. 29, that deemed Oregon No. 9 in the latest poll by AP. Let’s send the men positive vibes in their last couple games in the coming weeks.

I left Matthew Knight Arena right in time to get home and watch the final Oscar giveaways in the night’s biggest categories. Leo DiCap can finally be introduced in his upcoming movies as “One-Time Academy Award Winner.” He’s been validated! I imagined all the meme and gif makers, moments before Leo’s name was called, like at the end of the Super Bowl or the World Series where they have two variations of the next day’s paper ready.

Also, Spotlight. This was the one movie in the Best Picture section that I actually got to see in its entirety and I’m so happy it won. Long live journalism and talented, daring and authentic journalists!

Before these last few exciting bits of the show, there was a lot of other greatness at the Oscars, like Lady Gaga’s performance that powerfully shed light on sexual assault and Alejandro González Iñárritu’s speech after winning Best Director for The Revenant. Girl Scout Cookies were sold.

As for some questionable moments, Chris Rock addressed racial inequality in Hollywood, but at some points it seemed to be too much for me. Stacey Dash, aka Dee from Clueless, was a whole other story that made me (and Chrissy Teigen) shudder.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, 1960

The talented author sadly passed away in her sleep on Feb. 19 at 89 years old in her home in Monroeville, Alabama, the city in which she was born. Probably the most quotable book out there, To Kill a Mockingbird will forever live on as a symbol of both the necessary and unnecessary things we go through in life — the trials and tribulations, if you will. Harper Lee delivered a message about brutal racism in this Pulitzer Prize-winning novel and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from George W. Bush in 2007.

Lee was a person to look up to for the kindness she exuded in the few interviews she gave and for her humbleness as she lived one of her mottos: “People in their right minds never take pride in their talents.”

Not only was her death unfortunate to hear of, but it was also unfortunate that she could’ve received her Medal of Freedom just one year later and it would’ve come from President Obama instead of Dub Jr. I guess people are right when they say life is full of disappointments.

I think the people throughout the tropics experiencing the Zika virus would agree. By now, the mosquito-transmitted sickness has spread from South America, to Latin America, to some Pacific islands and as of Feb. 17, there have been 82 reported cases of Zika in the United States. Most of these confirmed cases have been found in parts of Florida (21), New York (11) and Texas (12). One travel-associated case has been found in Oregon.

These Zika-carrying mosquitos are nasty creatures, especially to pregnant women and their babies. Pregnant women are amongst the most vulnerable because the disease can spread from a mother to her fetus while she’s pregnant, resulting in babies being born with birth defects.

On Feb. 18, Pope Francis of the Catholic Church suggested that women who are sexually active and in areas that are considered high-risk for contracting the Zika disease could use artificial contraceptives, something that has always been a no-no amongst Catholics. Many bishops in Latin America have expressed the contrary, that they don’t think the pandemic is an exception to the sans-contraception Catholic rule. I’d like to just nudge these bishops and say, “Do it for the babies.”

Sitting pretty with Pope Francis in my mind is another lover of babies, the POTUS. President Obama continues to win my heart as years go on and his hair becomes lighter and lighter. Early Tuesday morning, on Feb. 23, I woke up to a BBC News alert informing me that our commander-in-chief is officially making an effort to close Guantanamo Bay.

The detention facility, located in Cuba, is both economically and morally wrong, so his issuing a detailed plan to close the facility is very important. But a lot of people, like many many, many, Republicans, are not down for Operation: Let’s Be Logical.

The president’s plan would move 35 of the 91 detainees to other countries, while the others would move north into U.S. prisons, which could result in our saving up to $85 million a year.

Guys, we’re kind of broke, so this is huge.

Most people oppose the plan because of the idea of bringing suspected terrorists into the country, but aren’t our prisons already holding suspected terrorists? I think the nearly $50 billion we spend on the prison system domestically each year should cover the costs for strong security, no?

The way money in America works is really unfathomable to me. Take sports, for example, and the fact that an average NBA team is worth $1.25 billion in 2016. The Portland Trail Blazers were probably jamming to the Weeknd’s “Earned It” in the locker rooms late Friday night, after beating the reigning NBA champions, the Golden State Warriors. Damian Lillard (and squad) beat the Bay Area team, 137 to 105. The mysterious number 0, Lillard, scored a career-high 51 points. It’s Lillard time, no doubt.

The team was probably getting down to DJ Khaled’s “How Many Times” after their game on Feb. 23, celebrating “another one.” The ‘Zers defeated the Brooklyn Nets in another high-scoring matchup, with 112-104 on the final scoreboard. May the odds continue to be in their favor.