I have been sexually abused twice in my life.

The first series of incidents were abuse in a committed relationship. She would manipulate me into doing things I didn’t want to by treating me badly if I didn’t do what she wanted me to. 

The second was rape. I was drunk and she didn’t tell me that she had never had sex. Beyond my inability to consent, I never would have attempted to consent if I had known that.

The statistics for sexual abuse, assault and rape in the queer community are shocking. One in two transgender people are sexually abused or assaulted in their life. One in ten of those individuals have been sexually assaulted in a healthcare setting (at a doctor’s office, for example). 46 percent of bisexual women have been raped. It’s likely that these statistics are skewed too low, because queer and trans people are less likely to disclose their sexuality and gender identity. In comparison to statistics regarding heterosexual and cisgender people, the risk is much higher.

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted, abused or raped. But queer and trans people already go through a lot. We suffer because of societal pressures to conform. We put up with hate crimes and speech. We watch as our government takes away and limits our rights, which should be allotted to any human being. We don’t deserve these statistics.

So why are we continually victimized?

The primary reason sexual violence is committed against the LGBTQIA+ community is as a means to oppress us. By committing sexual violence against a queer or trans person because of their identity, it discourages us from identifying that way publicly. Since we are more targeted than cisgender, heterosexual people, publicly identifying as LGBTQIA+ automatically puts us at a further risk. This is harmful because it perpetrates the idea that a queer or trans person will become a victim of sexual violence if they choose to be public about their identity. No one, no matter what their identity, should feel unsafe when expressing themselves.

There are many ways you can help somebody who has been a victim of sexual violence. The most important thing to emphasize is that it’s not their fault. I still think that what happened to me was my fault — I shouldn’t have let myself be manipulated, I should have been stronger, I shouldn’t have been drinking. But the reality is, the other people still chose to assault and abuse me. They were the perpetrators. I know I’m not the only one who feels guilty for what happened to me.

It’s also important to stay supportive of the victim throughout the effects of sexual violence that they may experience. These include depression, flashbacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, substance abuse, dissociation and sleep disorders. Beyond that, there is a probability that they will get an STI or become pregnant. While these symptoms may be scary and difficult to deal with for an ally, being sexually assaulted is a worse hardship. It’s your job to support the victim unconditionally throughout their recovery.

Another thing you can do is encourage the victim to get professional help if they aren’t already. Even though being supportive and somebody to trust is helpful, professionals such as therapists or sexual violence counselors are better equipped to assist the victim throughout this difficult time.

The University of Oregon has several resources available to students. These include a 24-hour crisis hotline (541-346-7233), Sexual Assault Support Services and Womenspace. The comprehensive section on their website also includes information for survivors, services available and a page on knowing what your options are as a survivor of sexual violence. Furthermore, they include police department numbers in the case that survivors wish to report their assault, abuse or rape to law enforcement.

The University of Oregon also has a support group for survivors of sexual violence and allies, called Empower UO. They meet Tuesdays at 4:30 p.m. in the Carson Ramey room. They also host a “Writing for Healing” group on Thursdays at 7 p.m. in the Elm Room of the EMU.

In closing, I would like to address survivors of sexual violence of any sort. Please know that what happened to you was not your fault. The person or people who did this to you are messed up. You don’t deserve what happened to you. I encourage you to seek help in whatever ways are accessible to you, whether it’s talking to a friend, finding a therapist or joining a support group. No matter where you are, there will be people there who are willing to support you throughout this difficult time.

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Approximately 4 million people all over the world took to the streets on Jan. 21, marching in protest of President Trump’s inauguration. When I first heard about the Women’s March, I was excited and intrigued. I’ve tried to be politically active whenever the opportunity arises, and this was definitely an opportunity. However, my feelings began to change when I started hearing the details.

The first thing I had qualms with were the “pussy hats.” While the hats themselves were cute — hot pink with little cat ears — the sentiment behind them makes me uncomfortable. By calling them pussy hats, the protestors centered the protests on cisgender (those who identify with their assigned sex at birth) women.

Unfortunately, that was not the only way the marches were transphobic. Phrases such as “pussy power” and “the future is female” grossly ignore and exclude those without vaginas who identify as women. Some people might say that these actions are an effort to demystify the vagina, create body positivity and emphasize female reproductive health. However, displays of female genitalia and slogans that involve it are not necessary to do this. It is possible to promote female reproductive health and women in general without these phrases, and without emphasizing female genitalia as a caveat for being a woman.

These trends resemble what is called Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism, a movement that essentially states that “real women” are those who have a vagina and centers womanhood on having a vagina and uterus. This movement obviously excludes transgender women who have not had transitional surgery. As stated by Julie S. J. Pelham in a widely-circulating Facebook post, “If you’re horrified by a powerful man grabbing women by the pussy, think about what he’d do if he didn’t find a pussy there, and work against the forces behind why he phrased it that way in the first place.” This references transmisogyny and violence against transgender women.

Furthermore, I view the marches as a statement of white feminism, or feminism that doesn’t consider the intersectionality of race, class, and other factors when regarding privilege and oppression. The protests were largely peaceful despite the presence of police officers, a testament to the safety and protection white women possess under the law. If the protests had involved more women of color and transgender women, it is likely that more action would’ve been taken by the police.

The protest was theoretically against Donald Trump’s inauguration and what he plans to do with this country. However, 53 percent of white women voted him into office. Beyond that, where were all these white women at Black Lives Matter marches and protests when Trump was elected president? These people aren’t as politically involved as they would like others to think.

This is not meant, however, to discount the efforts of some. Signs such as “Don’t forget: White Women Voted for Trump” and “White Women Elected Trump” were seen at protests and are a testament to self-awareness and a plea for white women to be and do better.

As white women, there is so much more you can do in addition to going to a single protest and saying “Well, at least I did something.” The fight is by no means over. Being an ally to minorities goes beyond attending a single march. So, what’s next? There are plenty of things you can do to help out yourself and other minorities.

One is to register to vote. The presidential election is not the only important election to vote in. Midterms are coming up. By making your voice heard, you can make a difference. There are other ways to get involved politically — calling and talking to your senators is one example. Our Eugene office telephone is (541) 431-0229 and you can also contact Sen. Ron Wyden through the form on his website. You can also volunteer for an organization that is important to you, such as Planned Parenthood. You can plan events in your own community continuing to protest President Trump’s election.

If you’re really out of ideas, you can visit the Women’s March website. They have started a campaign called 10 Actions / 100 Days, where they provide actions you can take to protest Trump’s presidency.

In short, there are many ways to get more involved and create change, whether you attended the Women’s march or not. And just because you attended the Women’s March doesn’t make you a trans-exclusionary feminist or a white feminist. It just means that you need to think critically about how you are acting and what you really stand for.

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California, ranked sixth among the top ten most liberal states in America, has taken another stride in the direction of topping the list. On Sept. 27, 2016, Governor Jerry Brown signed Assembly Bill 1887. The bill forbids any taxpayer funded travel to Kansas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Tennessee, all states with discriminatory anti-LGBTQIA+ laws. This bill has been emphasized as a direct response to North Carolina’s HB2, a bill which requires people to use public restrooms that are aligned with the assigned sex on their birth certificates. Evan Low is a gay assemblyman and one of the co-authors of the Californian bill. “California has said clearly, our taxpayer dollars will not help fund bigotry and hatred,” Low stated.

Although California is the first to pass a bill that encompasses all states discriminating against LGBTQIA+ people, it is not the first to ban travel to North Carolina. Washington D.C., Vermont and New York issued travel bans to the state after HB2 was passed. Similar bans were implemented in cities such as Seattle and San Francisco.

Each state included in the bill has their own unique discriminatory laws. In Kansas, college students are now allowed to discriminate as long as it’s rooted in religious beliefs. Similarly, Mississippi allows businesses, individual people and religious organizations to deny service to LGBTQIA+ people. Tennessee signed in House Bill 1840, which allows therapists to deny service to LGBTQIA+ people. Texas is likely to be added to the list because of their recent passing of the Texas Privacy Act, which clearly discriminates against transgender people.

As the choice made in California demonstrates, discriminatory behavior of any kind should not be tolerated. While I believe in religious freedom, it is not acceptable to use religion as a mask for your own prejudices. Furthermore, it is shown that LGBTQIA+ people are in more need of counseling than the average person because mental illness is more common in the community.

This is a difficult topic because while I appreciate the sentiment behind the bill, it could lead to issues instead of actual progress. I do agree that the states which have LGBTQIA+ discriminatory laws should not be endorsed in any way, at least until the laws are lifted. However, there are circumstances in which travel to these states funded by the government may be necessary. The primary and most valid circumstance would be if people were traveling to try and change the situation at hand. If people are able to travel to these states and create change by protesting the anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation, it could make a difference.

On the other hand, the Californian government is making a huge statement with this bill: discrimination against the LGBTQIA+ community will not be tolerated. This zero tolerance policy is inspiring, especially since California is the first state to pass such a bill. Ideally, other states will choose to follow in California’s footsteps and put their foot down on discrimination. By taking the lead, California is paving the way for other states to enact policies against LGBTQIA+ discrimination. Beyond this, the bill also applies to California state universities. Millennials are the future of our nation, and by shielding them from the discrimination occurring in other states, they will grow or continue to be open minded about LGBTQIA+ rights.

Additionally, the bill could negatively affect the economy of the states in question. By having fewer people travel there, stay in hotels and purchase goods, they will see a decrease in tourist revenue. Beyond that, businesses can choose to make a stand locally by disregarding the discriminating laws. Money is a powerful way to protest discriminatory laws, because if the state government sees losses in revenue as a direct result of the law going into effect, there is more potential for the law to be repealed.

Most important is the bill going into effect right before Trump’s presidency. These last few days before the inauguration are the time to do as much as we can to resist in any way possible. Whether this looks like protesting, marching or praying, doing your part to resist a gross injustice and a failure in our democracy can ultimately lead to change.

We have a duty as the next generation of society to grow and evolve into kind, unbiased and open hearted people. As a University of Oregon student who grew up in Eugene, I used to think that’s how everybody was — even myself. However, the reality is that we all continue to develop these traits and grow our whole lives. By supporting each other to embark on this journey, we are creating change in our own community, which can affect other communities and in turn affect people everywhere. It all starts with you and what you might do as the clock is ticking.

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“It’s the right thing to do,” stated Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick at a press conference regarding the Texas Privacy Act. The legislation that discriminates against transgender people was introduced Jan. 5. Patrick, a conservative Christian, considers it a priority and an investment in the privacy and safety of Texans.

The Texas Privacy Act states that people must use public restrooms and changing rooms that correspond with their assigned sex at birth. This would be applied in schools and at businesses. Furthermore, the legislation prevents cities from passing their own ordinances against the Texas Privacy Act, meaning that they have no independence regarding the bill. This is a poorly masked attack against the LGBTQIA+ community, despite some insistence that the legislation is an effort to prevent predatory attacks. It is psychologically and possibly physically harmful for transgender people to not be able to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable in, and this bill is clearly targeting those who don’t feel comfortable with the gender identity society has imposed upon them.

Astounding to me is the use of a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote in the press conference. Lt. Gov. Patrick began his speech at the conference by stating “Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.’” MLK, Jr. was part of the civil rights movement, and queer rights are a part of today’s civil rights. He likely would not have supported bathroom bills that target transgender people. Patrick continues to comment on how we can’t allow “men” in women’s restrooms simply because of how they feel. This is a personal and targeted attack on transgender women. Transgender women are real women, not men dressed up in feminine clothing and makeup.

Chief executive of LGBTQIA+ rights group Equality Texas, Chuck Smith, was interviewed about the new legislation. He was clear in stating “Transgender people are not the predators. Transgender people are more likely to be the victims.” This is an indication that transgender people are often the victims of attacks in bathrooms by cisgender people who are uncomfortable. Furthermore, he remarked that the act closely resembled HB2, a similar bill passed in North Carolina that is now facing challenges in court and has caused the state to have a huge fall in its economy—millions lost in money and hundreds in jobs due to boycotts.

This is not unlike what the Texas Association of Business has predicted in a study. They’ve reported that the new bill could result in billions of dollars in losses for the state of Texas. Clearly, this makes Patrick’s decision a bad idea.

Bathroom bills have become such an arbitrary thing to me. Think about single-stall, gender neutral bathrooms. Does the genitalia of the person using the bathroom before or after you really matter? It’s just a bathroom. Transgender people certainly don’t want to be hassled for a necessary act, and shouldn’t have to feel afraid to enter or use public restrooms because of how others might react. Furthermore, it shouldn’t cause them psychological harm, physical harm or trauma if they are attacked.

The fact that Texas has passed this bill so soon after HB2’s massive failure in North Carolina is a testament to the blind, stubborn stupidity of conservative Christians living in the South. America watched as the bill in North Carolina passed, caused social and economic destruction, and has now been brought to court for being discriminatory against the LGBTQIA+ community. Why would Texas follow so soon after such a disastrous result? It’s like talking to a brick wall.

Ideally, the things that happened with HB2 will also happen with the Texas Privacy Act. One can only hope that people will be protective enough of the LGBTQIA+ community and our civil rights as Americans to protest against the legislation and boycott those who choose to follow it. Additionally, businesses should also refuse to enforce the bill. By taking action, change can be made, and the law will be repealed.

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There’s no denying it — the acronym for the queer community has gotten long. This has become a source of confusion for some people, especially those who aren’t part of the queer community. However, I find myself increasingly obligated to let people know that the “A” in LGBTQIA+ does not stand for “ally,” but “asexual.”

I don’t know why it’s so confusing that allies are not part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I’ve discussed this with friends over social media platforms and in person, and I am somewhat astounded by the responses I’ve received for stating this.

While it is nice to have support, as in any situation, spaces that are built for the LGBTQIA+ community are not spaces that are necessarily inclusive to allies. Sure, there are spaces where allies are welcome to join. It only becomes a problem when allies infringe upon spaces in which they are not invited.

For example, my high school’s Queer Straight Alliance openly welcomed allies. They advertised that anyone was welcome and encouraged to join. This is a situation where I don’t have a problem with allies joining. But this doesn’t make them a part of the queer community; the queer community is for people who identify as LGBTQIA+.

While talking about this on Facebook, somebody brought up a noteworthy concept — some people who are not out of the closet may want to assimilate themselves into the community as straight allies first. Although this is a valid point, and I am all for the protection of LGBTQIA+ people, out or not, this creates a difficult dynamic in spaces that are meant for LGBTQIA+ people, and them alone. Obviously, in a space where they are not welcome as straight allies, queer people in the closet would definitely feel uncomfortable. In a situation like this, it would be best for people who are not ready to come out of the closet to stick to situations in which they are welcome as straight allies. When they are ready to identify openly as queer in some way, the spaces meant for only the queer community become available to them.

Ultimately, though allies are appreciated in any community, they are not a part of said community. They are not part of the marginalized group and do not experience the same oppressions. Not to say that they aren’t oppressed in other ways — for example, a straight woman and a gay man both face oppression in different ways. However, the gay man will never be part of the women’s community, and the straight woman will never be a part of the queer community.

There are some ways that you can improve your allyship towards the queer community. By gaining a full understanding of what an ally is and does, your support will gain more significance.

Allies definitely play an important role in LGBTQIA+ people’s lives. The primary situation where this comes up is when a queer person is coming out. They may be confused and scared of people’s reactions. It’s an ally’s job to support them through this however possible, whether it is being someone they can trust to help them come out to others or simply being there for them during this time.

After that, being an ally is about supporting LGBTQIA+ people in any way you can. This can take many forms — attending LGTBQIA+ meetings open to allies, fighting for LGBTQIA+ rights or even using your privilege to help them. Just make sure that in being an ally, you are not masking the voices of LGBTQIA+ people in the process. Be certain that you are never overstepping your boundaries as an ally, and always listen to queer people if they tell you you are.

Essentially, the LGBTQIA+ community members are the superheroes, and allies are their right-hand men. They assist them with whatever they may need help with at the time, but they aren’t the stars of the show when it comes to LGBTQIA+ matters.

By being a good ally who is respectful of LGBTQIA+ only spaces, you are supporting the movement and helping to progress the acceptance of queer people everywhere. The LGBTQIA+ community could not be where it is today without the assistance of allies, and they will continue to be necessary in our fight moving forward. We are grateful and appreciative of your help, and your allyship means a lot. Thank you.

The post Marks: Why straight allies are not part of the LGBTQIA+ community appeared first on Emerald Media.

When I first came out as a nonbinary transgender person, I was not prepared for the amount of policing other people would soon perform regarding my body, my looks and how I express myself. By policing, I mean trying to tell me what to do and how to do it. This is a problem that I would argue every person who considers themselves to be transgender faces.

The primary example of body policing I’ve seen is regarding bathroom policies. At home or when there are gender neutral bathrooms, going to the bathroom is not a concern. Thankfully, the University of Oregon has approximately 111 gender neutral bathrooms.  However, this is not the case for many colleges, or in public. This becomes an issue when gendered bathrooms are involved. Trans people are faced with the decision of whether they should go into the gendered bathroom that they identify with, or that which correlates to their assigned sex at birth. Often, regardless of which bathroom they end up choosing, they are met with negative responses such as staring, or even full-on confrontation. One recount of this is the incident of Dean Spade. Spade, a trans man, was confronted by police after entering the men’s restroom to use the facilities. After demanding identification and Spade’s fruitless attempt to explain that he was trans and just needed to use the bathroom, the police officer got violent and called for backup. Spade and two of his friends who tried to intervene were arrested. Unfortunately, this sort of treatment is not uncommon for trans people.

In North Carolina, the problems that transgender people already face regarding restrooms was brought to the next level when governor Pat McCrory signed House Bill 2, a bill preventing trans people from using the bathroom that they are comfortable with. Furthermore, the bill restricted cities from passing anti-discrimination laws. This conservative bill is nothing more than another attempt to oppress the transgender community and prevent its people from living their truths as their authentic selves. Thankfully, McCrory was not re-elected as North Carolina governor after his signing of the bill. Whether it can be chalked up to bad treatment of the transgender community is unclear, but it was definitely partially because of how the bill affected businesses. Regardless of the reason, it is still a step in the right direction for the trans community.

Does it really matter if someone with a penis enters a bathroom designated for women? Furthermore, how would you necessarily even know unless you were — to put it politely — spying on them?

This brings to light another issue I have with how people interact with the transgender community. Why do people feel it is necessary to comment on how trans people present? As a nonbinary transgender individual, I can safely say that every trans person feels differently about how they choose to present themselves. There is nothing wrong with a trans man presenting more feminine, a trans girl presenting masculine or anything in between. It is only because of the gender binary that people feel the necessity to tell trans people how to present themselves. By eradicating the usage of the gender binary, transgender and cisgender people alike would feel more comfortable presenting however they choose without any fear of comments relating their presentation to their gender.

Finally, I would like to address the idea of “male” and “female” bodies. A common term for transgender people that is used when one wants to know about their genitalia is the AMAB or AFAB acronyms. These stand for Assigned Male/Female At Birth. I find this to be extremely problematic. First of all, what’s the necessity to know about and obsess over trans people’s genitalia? Unless you’re going to sleep with someone, it’s not really any of your business. Secondly, in reality there is no such thing as a “male” or “female” body. If you identify as a girl, that’s great! If you don’t feel like you’re suited to gender, that’s fine too! The point is that it really doesn’t matter how you identify as long as people respect that identity and how you choose to express it.

Ultimately, you should refrain from judging others, especially those in the transgender community. How we express ourselves and what’s in our pants is none of your business, and it’s not your place to pass judgement on us.

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I spent the night of the 2016 presidential election with my partner, hoping to celebrate Hillary Clinton’s win.

However, by midnight, the election had been called. Trump had won. I couldn’t believe it.

Over the next two days, I was in too much of a daze of anxiety for the results to really settle in. I didn’t want to hear anything about it. It took me a while to process exactly how I felt about it and what I am going to do now that Trump will be sworn in next year.

Although I plan on doing several things to fight the deterioration of minority rights, especially as a minority myself, I decided to start by doing further research on how Trump’s presidency will affect the LGBTQIA+ community.

Not surprisingly, issues are already showing up in Texas in the form of legislative bills. State Senator Konni Burton has introduced Senate Bill 242, which requires that personal information about a child, which includes their gender identity and sexuality, must be revealed to their parents. Otherwise, educators may face disciplinary action.This is problematic because a young person’s gender identity and sexuality should remain private if they so wish. LGBTQIA+ people need to come out in their own time, and having a support system is an important part of that journey. Beyond that, they could be forced into conversion therapy or kicked out of their house if their parents are not accepting. In addition, Senate Bill 92 will void local ordinances that protect the LGBTQIA+ community from discrimination in cities such as Austin and Dallas. Without local protections, LGBTQIA+ families may find themselves facing more discrimination, possibly to the point of having to relocate. Finally, the Women’s Privacy Act forces transgender people to use the public restroom that corresponds with the gender they were assigned at birth. This act has not yet been introduced but is reported to be up for vote next year.

The problems arising in Texas are just some examples of what a Trump presidency could mean for the LGBTQIA+ community. The president-elect had already, in his campaign, promised to repeal the Affordable Care Act, which would allow transgender people to be discriminated against in their efforts to access health care. Previously, the ACA protected transgender people from being discriminated against. Furthermore, Vice President-elect Mike Pence has been a longtime supporter of conversion therapy, described by the Human Rights Campaign website as, “a range of dangerous and discredited practices that falsely claim to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.” These practices include shocking or giving nausea inducing medicine to patients while showing them gay erotica and electroconvulsive therapy, in which electric shocks are used to induce a seizure. There is no question that these practices are inhumane and it is appalling that our vice president-elect is a supporter of this form of torture.

Worrisome for the LGBTQIA+ community in red states is Trump’s policy of leaving things up to state legislature. He has previously stated that transgender people should be protected under law, but would rather individual states make decisions rather than putting into place any federal laws. If this were the case, what is happening in Texas could spread to other states where Trump supporters abound and those in charge are not supportive of the queer community. However, the good news is that if LGBTQIA+ families aren’t happy with the way things are going in their state, they can move to another state. Not to say that that wouldn’t take a toll on the family, as moving is one of the most stressful things a person can go through.

Thankfully, it is unlikely that same-sex marriage will be repealed. Since the Supreme Court made the decision to legalize same-sex marriage, it cannot be repealed by the president nor Congress.

Although Trump’s win in the 2016 election is worrisome for women, people of color and the queer community alike, the reactions following his victory have brought me hope and inspiration. Protests both local and national have brought together minorities and allies to unite against a common enemy. While I fear for the rights of my fellow minorities, I am inspired to join in the fight against Trump’s collective.

America was never great. But hopefully, that is something that we can change.

The post Marks: How Trump’s presidency will affect the LGBTQIA+ community appeared first on Emerald Media.

Polyamory is becoming an increasingly prevalent form of relationship in our society. However, there is a significant stigma around polyamorous relationships. The purpose of this column is to debunk some common myths about polyamory and explain how a healthy polyamorous relationship works.

Polyamory is the practice of being involved with multiple people simultaneously. It breaks free of the social norm of only being in a relationship with one person at a time. There is no one way to be polyamorous — just like any monogamous relationship, it varies in practice.

One way that people practice polyamory is with an open relationship. In an open relationship, a person might have one primary partner. This aspect of the relationship mimics monogamy in the sense that the involved peoples’ primary partner is each other. However, they may decide to also sleep with, date or otherwise be involved with other people. This is the basis of polyamory.

Even if you are involved in a polyamorous relationship, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are polyamorous yourself. In some cases one of the partners is polyamorous, while the other is committed to only their partner. This situation can be more difficult to juggle, because the monogamous person feels like they aren’t getting enough of their partner’s attention.

An important aspect of polyamory — and any relationship, really — is to consider communication. Open, honest communication about what is going on in each of your lives is the best way to go about a polyamorous relationship. Specifically, who you are dating, sleeping with, etc. However, sometimes a “need to know” basis can work in cases where partners don’t want to know details of each others’ other relationships.

What some people don’t realize about polyamorous relationships is that it’s still possible to cheat. Lying in any sort of relationship is often inappropriate, but in a polyamorous relationship it is often an indicator of cheating — i.e. hiding other relationships or sexual partners from your partner.

Polyamory revolutionizes society’s idea of how things “should be”: the monogamous white heterosexual couple that gets married, has a couple of kids and leads a life in consensus with the “American Dream.” Polyamory is considered bad and immoral because of how we expect relationships should be — one man and one woman fully committed to each other. However, polyamory can teach us many things about relationships: how to communicate better, how to prioritize your time and how to express yourself to the people you love and care about.

These are not the only beneficial things to people who choose to practice polyamory. An interesting correlation in polyamory is that studies have shown that people who practice polyamory are more well-educated than the general public. In addition, a study conducted among 200 polyamorous people found that nonmonogamous people’s jealousy experiences were equally about emotional and sexual infidelity. This is not the case among straight monogamous relationships, where men are more likely to be jealous about sexual infidelity, while women are more likely to be jealous about emotional infidelity.

Another point to bring up about nonmonogamy is that it often leads to safer sex. Because people in polyamorous relationships often have multiple partners, they practice safe sex in order to prevent the spread of STIs.

For some people, monogamy just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, people aren’t ready for the kind of commitment that monogamy can imply. Others just want to live their lives free of obligation. Regardless of the reason, not wanting to be monogamous doesn’t make you a bad or immoral person. It is perfectly natural to be attracted to multiple people at a time in any sense, be it romantic or sexual.

There are no agreed upon or universal rules for how polyamory functions. It’s different for everybody. The examples mentioned above are just a few of the ways I’ve participated in polyamorous relationships, but by no means are the be all end all for how every polyamorous relationship should be.

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As a transfer student at the University of Oregon, I struggle with finding a place where I feel like I belong. One of the communities I’d like to become more involved with is the LGBTQA+ community. That being said, I decided it was time to compile a list of resources for LGBTQA+ students and allies so students can easily find and learn about these resources.

Gender-inclusive housing

The gender equity hall is for students who are “committed to gender inclusion and equity.” This hall allows students to room with others of any gender identity or biological sex. This way, students don’t have to feel boxed in by gender binary floors. In addition, the gender-inclusive housing hosts the LGBTQIA scholars. I support students being able to live in a gender equity hall because no one has to feel uncomfortable due to their gender identity.

LGBTQIA Scholars

LGBTQIA Scholars are students living with peers who want to learn more about LGBTQIA identities. The program involves taking classes such as “Introduction to Queer Theory” and “Introduction to Women’s and Gender Studies.” In addition, the scholars live in the gender equity hall mentioned above. The program is open to anyone who is interested. To apply, go to the LGBTQIA Scholars website.

LGBTQA3

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual, Aromantic and Ally Alliance (LGBTQA3) is a queer club run for and by students. Their mission is to “prevent isolation while raising awareness and maintaining a space inclusive to all sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions.” The group meets on Tuesdays at 6 p.m. in Allen 140. The LGBTQA3 is a great group that is inclusive to anyone.

LGBTESSP

The LGBT Education and Support Services Program (LGBTESSP) “enhances the academic growth of LGBTQIA individuals at UO and in the Eugene community.” The program strives to provide resources and assistance to UO’s queer community. Students can go to them for any sort of support they are seeking as a member of the queer community or as an ally.

The Bridges Panel Program

This program is “designed to facilitate honest dialogue to educate people about the truth and diversity of the lives of LGBTQIA+ individuals.” It is offered through the LGBTESSP. Speakers are invited to a variety of classes to present panels on LGBTQIA+ related issues. If you’re interested in becoming a panelist or having a panel come to your class, more information can be found on the Office of the Dean of Students’ website.

QAC

The Queer Ally Coalition (QAC) has the goal of “reducing homophobia, heterosexism and gender bias on the University of Oregon campus and create an atmosphere of understanding and acceptance for all members of our community inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities.” The QAC offers three different types of training. The first is general QAC training as an introduction to ally development. Next are customized QAC programs, which are altered to cover any LGBTQIA-related topic requested. Finally, there is training for those who would like to be QAC facilitators. To request training, go to the Office of the Dean of Students’ website. I would recommend it to people hoping to call themselves allies to the queer community.

OUTreach

OUTreach’s mission “is to engage and empower lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and questioning students at the University of Oregon.” Members of the program volunteer throughout the year to help out new and incoming students with LGBTQIA-related programs. OUTreach events and activities mostly occur over the summer and during Week of Welcome. OUTreach members also help out with tabling during the school year and work with the LGBTESSP on projects and initiatives. If you are interested in becoming a member of OUTreach, you can apply on their website.

The Wayward Lamb

The Wayward Lamb is “Eugene’s newest queer destination.” The bar is usually 21+, but occasionally there are events for all ages. There is also a den in the back, where drag shows and dance nights are hosted.

Hopefully this compilation of programs, clubs and places to hang out will help UO’s queer students find a sense of community. If you would like to learn about any other groups or programs or more details about the ones I’ve listed here, more information can be found at the UO Dean of Students’ LGBTQIA website.

The post Marks: LGBTQA+ resources for students appeared first on Emerald Media.

I often get questions from readers about LGBTQA+ terms. This article aims to explain many of the common questions regarding the T in LGBTQA+.

What does transgender mean?

People who are transgender are those who don’t identify with the sex they were assigned at birth. To many, this means people who are born male but identify as female, and vice versa. However, the definition has expanded to include many gender identities beyond men and women. While some transgender people refer to themselves as male-to-female or female-to-male, many more identify under the umbrella of nonbinary. People who are nonbinary don’t identify strictly as male or female, instead using a spectrum from masculine to feminine to express and identify their gender. Examples of other nonbinary identities are genderqueer, gender fluid, nonbinary, agender, androgyne and neutrois.

How are sexual orientation and gender identity different?

Sexual orientation and gender identity are two vastly different things. Gender identity describes how you identify yourself, while sexual orientation is related to who you are attracted to. Contrary to popular belief, these are not connected. While it’s typical for a heterosexual person to also be heteroromantic (romantically attracted to the opposite sex), romantic and sexual attraction can come in any combination. For example, a nonbinary person could be bisexual (sexually attracted to two or more genders). Moreover, a person could also be pansexual (sexually attracted to all genders) or homoromantic (romantically attracted to their own gender).

Why doesn’t everyone who is transgender medically transition?

Medically transitioning is not always easy, affordable, realistic or wanted. Medically transitioning is expensive, has a long recovery time and makes people who are transgender not necessarily comfortable with their bodies. Transitioning medically also has many barriers. In order to cover transition by insurance, a person has to have doctors’ notes and have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria disorder — for many people, it’s just not worth the hassle.

Why do some people use they/them pronouns?

They/them pronouns are a popular topic. People argue over whether they are grammatically correct to use as singular pronouns and police those who are transgender who use them. Just to clarify, yes, using they/them pronouns in a singular context is grammatically correct. Furthermore, they are used by all sorts of people who are transgender. They/them pronouns are used for people who don’t feel comfortable being gendered as masculine or feminine. There are also other alternate pronouns, such as xie/xir.

What do people who are nonbinary/transgender look like?

Those who are transgender look like any other person. Chances are you’ve met transgender and nonbinary people before, and you didn’t even know it. The stereotypes the media portrays about transgender people are hurtful and simply wrong. People who are transgender are humans, just like everyone else, and would like to be treated as such.

What’s the difference between being transgender and drag?

The lines between these two are a little blurry. Drag is considered gender performance. Some people argue that being transgender is just drag in your everyday life. Either way, transgender is an identity that people use to explain their gender, while drag is a performance and a fun way to explore gender expression.

Why do some people put an asterisk after trans? Why don’t you?

The asterisk after trans was an Internet trend for a while. By putting the asterisk after trans, people were trying to be inclusive of all transgender identities, rather than just male-to-female and female-to-male. However, trans without the asterisk was already inclusive of these identities. The asterisk was unnecessary in the first place, which is why I don’t use it anymore.

How can I be a good ally to the transgender community?

There are many ways to be a good ally, the primary one is to be supportive. People who are transgender go through a lot of hardship in their everyday lives, whether they are openly out and comfortable with their identity or still in the closet. Some other tips include asking people’s pronouns, not asking about a transgender person’s deadname (their birth name or any names they used to go by) and not asking about their medical transition.
Hopefully I answered a few of the basic questions people have about the LGBTQA+ community. Feel free to tweet or email me any questions if you have them!