Anyone who has ever had a class in Columbia 150 knows what death sounds like. The coughing, the sneezing and the weezing consistently plague the big lecture auditoriums and continue in spreading all the germs and bacteria that go hand-in-hand with coming to class when you should really be on your deathbed.

Why then, do students continue to show up to these classes? Especially when they know they’re sick? Surely they know that going to class means they’re most likely infecting other students and resigning them to the same fate? Right? Right.

Sick students do understand this, and they apologize, but it’s really not up to them whether or not they have the ability of missing class in exchange for some much needed rest. It’s in the hands of God….well, in the hands of the professor, which, in college, is the next best thing. It’s your professor’s discretion that ultimately determines your fate. And, it turns out, indirectly becomes your doctor.

As your “doctor,” your professor decides whether or not you should get better. It’s no longer up to you or your body. If your professor is understanding, he/she will make it easier on everyone and encourage you to stay home and get well again, away from the untainted healthy people.

If your professor comes to the conclusion that you simply can’t miss class, you are resigned to be one of those harbingers of death in Columbia 150. As every cough starts to feel like your last, you can feel the annoyed stares of your peers wishing you had just stayed in bed. “It’s not my fault,” you plead. “I have to get the i>clicker question” or “participation is 10% of our grade, I can’t skip!” These are all valid reasons, but should participation points come before a person’s well-being?

Obviously, participation is a huge component of any course, and teachers should encourage or enforce participation amongst the student body. But how does that apply to sick students? Should professors be obliged to accomodate unhealthy students or is it up to the students themselves to determine if missing a class is worth the attempt at getting better.

Speaking from personal experience, I have repeatedly had classes in Columbia 150 and have known the shame, embarrassment and isolation that being sick in a classroom (particularly an auditorium) brings. Not only is coughing and sneezing annoying but it is distracting to those trying to pay attention to the professor.

Sick students are officially encouraged to stay at home, but don’t be fooled, no one can afford being bedridden in college or, more specifically, their grades can’t afford it.

Just last term, I had a bacterial infection: strep throat and “possibly mono.” Did I continue going to class even though I knew it was just making my illness(es) worse? You betcha. Ultimately, I simply could not afford to lose the 5% to my final grade for missing more than two classes and resigned myself to sitting in the very back corner with a box of tissues I brought from home.

I became worse and worse for two weeks of school and spent Thanksgiving break in a NyQuil induced coma. After the break, however, I finally started to recover. Now, I’m not saying that my case proves that all sick students can be cured with bed rest. I’m just noticing the peculiar timing of my initial recovery. It might’ve had something to do with not having to walk in Eugene’s cold, wet rain while simultaneously combatting a 103 degree fever.

It’s college, everyone’s in close proximity to one another, someone is bound to get sick. This is understandable. What’s not understandable is lowering a student’s grade because he/she was too sick to attend class. Give us doctor’s notes. Give us medicine. And give us the necessary time (as determined by a qualified professional) away from school to get stronger. Columbia 150 is filled with sick people, don’t make us be one of them.

As per usual, I just woke up late for my 9 a.m. class.

Class starts in five minutes and I’m staring up at the ceiling contemplating if I’m even brave enough to show up to class late, knowing that all eyes will be locked on me when I open the classroom doors. Plus I’m not even going to bother to properly dress myself since I’m this behind, so that’s like a double negative. It’s one thing if you show up late to class looking neat and well groomed but being the person who shows up with bedhead is way too horrifying.

But just when I think all hope is lost and I’ve made my peace with probably failing the class, I remember the life-changing investment I made a few weeks ago: my beautiful Charlie.

I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that if I just hop on and ride Charlie, I’ll be able to get to class quickly and with time to kill. I’ve been riding Charlie for a while now and he’s made a huge impact on me. Oh right, I should probably mention that Charlie isn’t human, but something much better and useful.

Charlie is my bike.

With a smile, a twinkle in my eye and a spring in my step (I’m lying this is a 9 a.m. class we’re talking about). I get out of bed and onto my bike. I ride carelessly, knowing that I’ll get to class on time and not cause the shameful scene of showing up late. I’m happy. Buying a bike has forever changed my life for the better. And if you’re like most students who showed up to college without a car, a bike is a replacement you should seriously consider.

I initially decided to purchase a bike because I was growing tired of missing early classes. I grew tired of trudging through the relentless rain and puddles. I grew tired of making a day trip out of going to the library because it’s easily a 20-minute walk from my apartment. 20 minutes.

That’s an entire episode of Friends I could’ve watched. (No but seriously, I’m very passionate about Friends so that’s a big deal.) The University of Oregon has a pretty large campus, and if you think about it, all you are doing on campus is walking from one place to another. That’s so much time unnecessarily allocated to just walking. I apologize to the creator of the phrase “stop and smell the roses” but I’ve got stuff to do, and if I can cut down some needless time so I can spend it somewhere I actually want to spend it, I will.

I enjoy biking as well. It’s very satisfying being able to glide your way through puddles that would ruin someone else’s shoes. It’s fun going down hills on your way to class. There’s a rush you get from biking that leaves you feeling refreshed and energized. Unlike walking, which, in this rainy weather, makes you want to curl up in your bed and never leave, biking gives you a sense of adventure and excitement, a good combination to wake-up for an early class.

So if you’re like me and you didn’t get a convertible as a going away to college present, I personally recommend investing in a solid, reliable bicycle. It’s an investment that you’ll immediately see the benefits of, especially in bike-friendly Eugene where streets cater to bikers with plenty of bike lanes, air pumps and such.

If money is an issue and you’re not looking to break the bank on a car, a bicycle can be a very cost-effective alternate solution (I got mine for $400 at the Blue Heron Bike Shop on 13th Avenue).

Long story short, if you haven’t already, buy a bike. And if you’re reading this and still aren’t convinced, or you hate bikers, or you never learned how to ride a bike or whatever: Just know that I’ll be the one laughing as I swiftly soar, feet never touching the ground, past the walking commoner you are.

“I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes. Do you think I should take it down? Let me take another selfie.”

If you’ve ever posted a selfie, you understand what The Chainsmokers are talking about. That brutal, agonizing, crushing feeling of defeat as your self-esteem plummets with the lackluster amount of people who find your shameless selfie worthy of a double-tap. Suddenly, your mind is full of questions. “Why isn’t anyone liking it?” “Did I use the wrong filter?” And the best one of all – “Does this mean I’m ugly?” Questions of self-doubt transform into self-loathing and your once unshakeable confidence quickly deteriorates until you’re a shell of the person you were just 10 minutes before.

But hey, something has got to be said for trying, right? It does take some guts to post a picture of your face online for everyone to see and, ultimately – judge. That’s pretty much the premise of posting anything on social media. When you share a link, update your status or leave a witty comment all you’re really doing is putting yourself on a stage, and it’s up to the audience (your followers) to decide whether or not to boo you off or give you a standing ovation. But why exactly do we keep putting ourselves out there then, in spite of the fear of humiliation or lack of encouragement? Simply put, we do it because we want to matter. We want to feel good about ourselves and how we look and what we’re doing and where we are. We ceaselessly seek out our followers to give us what we think is a realistic reflection of our self-worth. For the most part, we implicitly say things like “tell me I’m pretty” or “look how cool and funny I am” and wait to see what the world really thinks. Compliments and praises have now been exchanged for likes and favorites.

But obviously not everyone needs more self-esteem. In fact, a lot of those selfie takers are horrible narcissists who see social media as a way for others to see how great they are. “Tell me I’m pretty” suddenly becomes “look how hot I am.” Sadly, the only real trick to learning how to distinguish the difference between gross narcissism and a cry for some positive reinforcement is to actually get to know the subject of the “self” portrait which is near impossible. As millennials, we’re known for being self-entitled brats. Social media and the polarizing art of the selfie have no doubt played their roles in promoting these negative traits. A beautiful girl with thousands of followers, for instance, posts a picture of herself and receives hundreds of likes. Now honestly, would anyone say she’s posting selfies because she thinks she’s ugly or needs her self-esteem boosted? Probably, yes. But then again, with so much positive reinforcement through likes and favorable comments, maybe you could find a reason as to why, in reality, that girl’s a total bitch.

In other words, while not getting enough support for someone’s post or picture can have damaging effects on feelings of self-worth, so too can receiving too much praise. It’s a double-edged sword that has a huge impact on the way people view themselves.

So how does one navigate through the tricky world of self-picture taking? First off, you shouldn’t be looking to online followers for reassurance. If you’re going to post a picture of yourself, do it for yourself, not for other people. I don’t care how ugly or pretty you think you are–40 double-taps won’t change anything in the end. Secondly, don’t take yourself too seriously, nobody else does. Unless you blow up your wall with a selfie stream that never ends, you shouldn’t have to worry about being too self-absorbed. Lastly, social media is supposed to help us connect with one another, not make us stress out and doubt ourselves. Use it for its original purpose and be genuine about it.

So if your picture only got 10 likes in five minutes, don’t be a wuss and take it down – you do you.

I always knew I had a problem. Staying up all night, bumming around, procrastinating and playing video games until I see something peeking its irritating head through my blinds – it’s the sun.

Oh great, I just wasted a good eight hours doing absolutely nothing of importance and being completely unproductive! I should probably go to bed now because I do have that 9 a.m. class tomorrow… err today and I’m running out of days to skip before my grade gets docked!

As I lay in bed trying my best to ignore the sun’s overly energetic beams, I suddenly remember I haven’t checked everyone’s Snapchat stories. Oh no! While I’m here, I might as well check up on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, too, you know, just so I don’t end up missing anything important. Okay, okay, I’m done. I’m putting my phone away.

Now finally, I’m tired and ready for some much needed beauty sleep after a long day of inactivity. Wait what’s that sound? It’s my alarm clock. My class starts in 20 minutes. Screw that class, we’re probably not even doing anything too important anyway, (I think to myself) Goodnight.

Sound familiar? This little routine is the bane of many a college kid’s existence. You wake up late, probably miss a class and the one you do make it for you’re barely awake for. As the cycle continues, the weight of all those missed classes and deadlines begins to take its toll on your grades. Some researchers have discovered a correlation between night owls and higher IQs. Unfortunately, this doesn’t provide an adequate excuse to ignore daily responsibilities.

The truth of the matter is this: While you may be able to slide by with just a few hours of shut eye a night in college, it’s not healthy for you or your collegiate career. See, in the real world, breakfast doesn’t start at 1 p.m. Work commences when the sun rises and ends when it’s close to setting. And unlike your generous professors, your future employers will likely be less lenient.

Could you imagine what an actual entire day feels like? To wake up at eight, maybe go grab some coffee or breakfast until your first class where you now have the time to actually shower and be presentable for once. Seriously, props to the people who routinely have a proper breakfast, you’ve got your stuff together. Think about all the things you’ve been putting off and now have the time and energy to do.

Speaking from experience, getting just one thing accomplished on my list of many things to do is not only extremely rewarding but also relieves unnecessary stress. Simply put, when you do what needs to be done, you feel good about yourself. It is always to your benefit to make the most out of each day.

If this sounds too scary for you or you’re a diagnosed insomniac or you’re just too lazy, night classes are always an option. Keep in mind that your late schedule might get in the way of your social life. The important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you have the option of taking a class at 10 a.m. or 6 p.m., be realistic. Choose the class you know you’ll be less likely to miss. If that’s not possible and you’re brutally forced to take an early class that you’re tempted to skip, suck it up. Skipping classes means you’re literally giving thousands of effortless dollars to the university.

I know it’s rough, but I dare you to see what all you can achieve on a normal person’s timetable.

Who knows what you could accomplish? The early bird gets the worm after all. (I’m so sorry I just had to).

Okay, so Annie is very near and dear to my heart. Yes, I was in the musical in high school and yes, our show was amazing. Unfortunately, however, the 2014 movie adaption of the timeless classic was not as great. The songs, the characters and the jokes all fall flat and are tiresomely clichéd. It’s honestly really sad because the movie unsurprisingly does have a lot of energy, but that energy feels shamelessly forced and synthetic.

Sure, there were moments when I did manage to awkwardly chuckle, but those moments pretty much revolved around Cameron Diaz’s character as the drunk, grumpy, down-on-her-luck Miss Hannigan (reminiscent of her Bad Teacher role). In fact, I would go so far as to say that Diaz’s performance stole the show, if the show were worth stealing. Diaz seemed to possess a sort of self-awareness that somehow made her character ironic and genuinely funny.

Rose Byrne and Jamie Foxx give it their all as well and at times there are moments of comedic sparks with the pair, but those moments tend to be few and far between.

And of course, these are adult actors with years of experience we’re talking about but unfortunately, the movie isn’t about them. It’s about the foster kid (no longer an orphan) named Annie. And now we’ve come to the probably most important shortcoming of the film – Quvenzhané Wallis’ so-so performance.

The thing about Annie is she’s supposed to be lovable, relatable, clever and have a charmingly captivating personality. While the 11-year-old does her best – and at times she does shine (for example, the “Opportunity” song) – she fails to capture Annie’s magnetism. Maybe it’s the horrible, horrible, unfunny lines she’s given, but this Annie is completely lacking in the personality department. Though her character is supposed to be upbeat and cheerful, Wallis’ execution almost makes Annie deadpan (which could be funny, actually…). The entire time I was wondering what was so special about Annie that is supposed to make the audience believe the movie’s characters would actually fall in love with her.

The songs matched the movie’s synthetic feel and some felt random and distracting in their timing. Brave enough to attempt a more “modern” take, but not brave enough to fully commit, most songs seem to differ little from the old Annie movie. The 2014 original songs are another matter entirely. Save “Opportunity,” these irritatingly auto-tuned songs should have been replaced with something more substantial and compelling.

Oh my god I feel so mean now. Now I have to say something nice… Okay, the highlight of the movie, “Opportunity,” was actually very well done and it was pretty much the only time Wallis shined, it’s just sad that her singing talent didn’t translate to her acting. Oh god, that was supposed to be nice but ended up taking a turn…

Remember Paris Hilton? You know what she is now? Oh, that’s right. Irrelevant.

Yes, Paris’ 15 minutes of fame are over and, just like that, the world has moved on.

Kim Kardashian, KK, Kimy K., Kimberly, Kim Kardashian-West or whatever K name you want to call her – her time is now and, from what I can tell, we are now living in the age of Kim Kardashian. And if Kim has anything to do with it, we will be for a long time. She’s wealthy, famous and probably better looking than you and, guess what else?

Kim Kardashian is a fucking genius.

She’s managed to keep herself relevant in a time when our attention is so limited that even Buzzfeed can barely hold it.

But how does she do it? How is that literally anywhere you go not only will people know about KK, but they’ll have their own opinions that they’ll have no qualms about voicing?

It’s all about controversy, about scandals. And if there’s one thing Kim K knows, it’s that being controversial is the key to maintaining her status as a celebrity. I mean, her rise to fame did happen through a sex tape (dare I create a link to Pornhub?) and relation to O.J. Simpson’s lawyer, so what do you really expect? And there are even rumors that the tape had been meticulously thought-out by her mother as a means to attain the spotlight.

She’s a genius because she knows her strengths and how to sell herself: She’s extremely active on social media, she’s made the cover of pretty much every magazine ever (people were screaming about her being the Vogue cover), her show keeps people watching, she has her very own video game that’s somehow making her 85 million a year, she married a “god” and named their child North West (is anyone honestly even surprised?)

And her latest thing: appearing on Paper magazine’s cover, oiled up and ass out, with the clear intention to “break the Internet” no less.

Sure, the picture might be tacky or whatever, but those outcries of indignation are exactly the kind of attention Mrs. Kardashian-West wants and needs. Though she may never be truly successful in her goal to “break the Internet” she’s probably the closest one to do so.

I don’t mean to be super-punny here, but it is hard to keep (I hate myself) up with her. She’s literally always up to something. She’s a mastermind, every move she makes is a calculated step to garner more fame, power and wealth.

Every time you declare “I hate Kim Kardashian” or call her names or say anything negative about the star, just know, somewhere out there, Kim K. is maniacally laughing, growing ever stronger because you’re providing the life force she needs to stay alive.

Stop what you’re doing and go buy Pokémon Omega Ruby or Alpha Sapphire right now. Think you’re just going to eat turkey and lay around with the family this Thanksgiving? Well, guess what? You can’t. You’re too busy playing Pokémon to stuff your face. Your family will obviously understand.

Released just last Friday, Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, or ORAS, reimagine the Hoenn region that was first conceptualized back in 2003. This time it’s with vivid color, additional storylines, “primal evolutions” and 3D graphics. The latest generation of Pokémon successfully blends the old with the new and creates a beautiful 3D world that will instill nostalgia among players of the original versions.

The plot is more or less the same as the the original Sapphire and Ruby versions: battle Team Magma or Team Aqua (Magma for Ruby, Aqua for Sapphire) to save the world from destruction while, of course, becoming the very best Trainer in all the land. This being true, ORAS still introduces new elements while improving original ones.

Now, you can manually fly around and land wherever you desire. It’s a dream fans have had for years and one that gets me pretty emotional. You can give your Pokémon some much-needed love by petting them with the stylus (though it feels mechanical). You can have your Pokémon participate in Pokémon contests that are far less aggressive than beating up your opponent’s Pokémon until it’s unconscious. The combination of these various new elements provide solid entertainment with vets and newcomers alike.

Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire’s most distinguishable feature is undoubtedly its courageous leap into 3D. While the standard layout of Hoenn stays consistent with the layout of the originals, traversing through the same caves, oceans, forests and mountains as I did 11 years ago felt fresh and fun once again.

Secret bases make a return with loads of additional furniture and customization options. This might’ve been my favorite feature. I found myself dedicating over an hour hunting for just the right rug to match my desk. ORAS encourages you to take pride in your “Super-Secret Bases” by allowing you to wirelessly connect with players from nearly anywhere in the world. Once they’re in your pad, you can play games such as “capture the flag” or act as your very own Gym Leader and battle.

All Pokémon fans will enjoy ORAS, but, compared to games like Black and White, ORAS might feel a little slow. The game has a small-town, “stop and smell the roses” feel. The cities are smaller and less populated, the storyline drags from time to time and though there’s still plenty to do, ORAS just isn’t as jam-packed as other games.

But despite all this, I appreciated a simplified Pokémon game less cluttered by many of the added junk of later generations. ORAS remains true to its roots and is stronger for it.

ORAS’ goals aren’t to reinvent Pokémon wholeheartedly (like X and Y did), they’re to rekindle an old flame, telling us that no matter how old we get, Pokémon is still thriving and willing to keep reimagining itself for generations to come.

Marvel adds yet another super-powered heartthrob in its movie lineup: Benedict Cumberbatch as the magical Dr. Strange. The movie is expected to be released in 2016. Joaquin Phoenix, alongside other big names such as Jared Leto, Tom Hardy and Ethan Hawke, was previously rumored to be in talks with Marvel for the role.

While Marvel die-hards will be familiar with this comic book character, casual fans might not be so well informed. Marvel’s founder Stan Lee and comic artist Steve Ditko imagined the fictional character in the 1960s when the comic book was at its prime. Dr. Stephen Strange is a former neurosurgeon-turned-mystical-guardian who protects the world from supernatural forces and threats.

“They’ll probably get it right,” said Ben Saunders, director of the Comics and Cartoons Studies minor at the University of Oregon. “…Dr. Strange is supposed to be a little bit creepy, which I think Benedict Cumberbatch can play very well.”

And Cumberbatch, renowned for his acting chops, also holds a strong female following.

“Benedict Cumberbatch could play a sack of potatoes and still be great,” said Sydney Fournier, a University of Oregon junior and long-time admirer of the actor. “The British accent kind of just tops everything off…and I’m just a puddle.”

Do you think Benedict Cumberbatch will do Dr. Strange justice? What other actors could you see casting spells and saving the world? Here are five other actors the Emerald feels are worthy to don Dr. Strange’s magical robes.

Johnny Depp – Dr. Strange is… well, strange, and Depp’s body of work definitely fits that description. Not only is Depp a talented actor and adored by millions, his facial hair oddly resembles that of the great magician.

Clive Owen – This devilishly handsome British actor already portrayed a cocaine-addled surgeon in the year 1900 on the Cinemax show The Knick. Owen had also been rumored to be the next James Bond following Pierce Brosnan; though Daniel Craig eventually landed the role, Owen could trade in a suit and gun for robes and spells and still pull it off. Give Owen a Marvel movie!

Joaquin Phoenix – One of the actors rumored to be considered for the role, Phoenix has just the right combination of eccentricity, looks and raw, animalistic talent to create an effective Dr. Strange. It’s no wonder he was thought to be one of Marvel’s first choices.

Matt Bomer – If Marvel wanted a younger version of Dr. Strange that is the perfect blend of charm and ego, Bomer is an excellent choice. His character on “White Collar” shares similarities with Strange that would make Bomer a natural for the part. Now that “50 Shades of Grey” has cast Jamie Dornan for the role of Christian Grey, Bomer could look to Marvel for his next gig.

Robert Downey Jr. – Okay, yeah, he is Iron Man, but that doesn’t mean RDJ wouldn’t be a perfect fit for Dr. Strange. Not only does his facial hair match the magician’s, Downey Jr.’s mix of irresistible charm and arrogance would make for a convincing Dr. Strange. But, of course, Downey Jr. could get away with anything.

Beau Hashim, an avid Marvel comic reader, believes that Marvel can do no wrong. “No matter who plays Dr. Strange, you know Marvel knows what it’s doing.”

Follow Kiefer Brown on Twitter @_kieferbrown

Bored of blockbusters? Unsatisfied with movie selections at the local multiplexes? Break out of your comfort zone and head to the Bijou Art Cinema, located at 492 East 13th Avenue.

You’ll know when you get there because it’s the only church in town with showtimes on the side. That’s right, it’s a re-purposed church with only two auditoriums that hold around 100 people each. The Bijou theatre has stood the test of time since it opened in 1980. Once there, you’ll be among the hardcore film lovers who frequent the Bijou.

“I think there’s a community here of people who are educated and intellectual and want something more than just a blockbuster,” said Julie Blonshteyn, one of the Bijou’s four owners. “And we have the movies that they like and we’re the only ones that do that.”

Maggie Yokun, a Bijou regular, appreciates the theatre’s unique ability to “bring independent and obscure films to Eugene,” joking that it’s the only place to see “good and real movies” in town. “You don’t get these kind of movies anywhere else,” she said.

The Bijou’s patrons are passionate about the films they watch and view it less as entertainment than an art form, and the Bijou leaves little to be desired. While most costumers are 60+ years old, the Bijou hopes that their proximity to campus will encourage more students to visit.

“It’s such a unique setting to watch a movie,” said Taylor Newberry, a University of Oregon sophomore and first-timer at the Bijou. “I don’t understand why I’ve never gone before.”

The Bijou boasts a wide range of films from independent movies, documentaries and even foreign films, with a complement of arthouse cinema at Bijou Metro downtown (43 West Broadway). Movies are typically low-budget and unless you personally seek them out, most of them you probably haven’t heard of before. Essentially, these are films you won’t be able to enjoy in a movie theatre elsewhere, but that doesn’t make them any less watchable, only more elusive.

“Whereas people who go to the mall or a big multiplex just want to see some action movie or some blockbuster, our movies tend to be a little more cerebral,” Blonshteyn said.

The atmosphere alone is worth the reasonable price of $7 admittance fee (only $6 for students). During a mid-movie bathroom break, you’ll travel through a beautiful courtyard complete with a fountain that houses lovely fish. It’s a very natural, calming environment that multiplex theatres just simply cannot imitate.

Staffers provide additional ambiance by being just as passionate about films as their costumers. Most employees watch every film that screens and jump at the opportunity to converse with moviegoers about their thoughts on a particular movie and can offer recommendations.

“You’re going to be welcomed by people who love their job and love movies,” Blonshteyn said.

Stop by the Bijou Art Cinema for the movies, the atmosphere and the people. If you do stop by, be sure to ask for extra yeast on your popcorn.

Current showings and upcoming events can be found on their website www.bijou-cinemas.com or their Twitter @BijouArtCinemas.