Buzzfeed rocks! Let’s make the Bullblog more like Buzzfeed! Find your spring break destination, and you’ll find the Justin Bieber tattoo you should get tattooed on your body! You can even get your tattoo drunk on spring break! I’ve heard San Juan has great 24 hour tattoo parlors. Super good Yelp reviews! Super clean! 

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

This tattoo screams Cabo, because you are only going so that you can show off your bikini bod in disposable camera pics. You got this tattoo just so that you can lift up your shirt if someone asks to see it. It’s a humble-brag to its core. No pun intended! LOL!

Mohegan Sun, Connecticut

You’re giving up for Lent. You just got your tax refund, and you’re trying to blow it in one night. You’re borrowing your friend on the football team’s car and making the 50 minute drive. You didn’t even rent a room. Pound a few Four Lokos, and either end the night spending the money you made on some strippers or sober up in a bathroom before driving back to New Haven with only a $5 bill in your pocket. Stop at Taco Bill on the way back and buy whatever it gets you.

Home

You’re fresh out of ideas…

Paris, France

If you’re going to Paris for spring break, you’re both cooler than most and an asshole. You use roman numerals to describe more than just World War I and World War II. You choose to use the metric system, because you like complicating things.

New Haven, Connecticut

You said, “Fuck spring break! I love New Haven!” It’s basically the same thing as, “Fuck my calves! I love Jesus!” Same thing. Exactly the same thing. Nothing says DGAF like getting a Jesus tattoo on your leg, or spending an extra two weeks here.

Las Vegas, Nevada

This tattoo screams Las Vegas, mostly because of the direct correlation between casino legality and Native American reservations.

Miami, Florida

Duh. You go to Miami for every spring break . You even went in  high school (because you went to high school on the East Coast). It’s cheap, close, and predictable. Your “path” is a non-stop from JFK to MIA and the “word” is the Cosmo you’ll pick up in the airport.

There are few things in this world that leave me speechless. I was left speechless during and immediately following the proposal episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. And I also find–yes, present tense–myself speechless every time I watch Dreamgirls, which is unsurprisingly all the time. This “Partition” remix by Yale School of Medicine also had me desperately attempting to find words; but alas, I was unable. That’s because there are no words to describe this “thing.”

The YDN is TMZ, and I love it! This YIRA/YDN scandal is everything.  All I want to do is comment on the YD”N” article, because my opinion is worth just as much as the 140 people who have already commented (as of 2:00 a.m.). Unfortunately I (a)  have no idea what YIRA is and (b) know even less about 501(c)(3)’s. Please comment on this post, if you know anything about anything. The Bullblog and I are desperately trying to stay relevant here, but we all have to study for our Issues Approach to Biology test tomorrow.

Please help if you can!

Updated at 2:12am: The commenting feature on the YDN article has been officially removed. The YDN alerted disgruntled students by sharing these kind words, “The commenting feature for this article was disabled because comments were revealing confidential personal information on which the News did not report. We will accept responses to coverage in the forms of letters to the editor.” 

Post what you want here, but don’t use first names or the word bitch, because if you do, we’ll dump your shit. We’re into community.

Chance the Rapper is performing at Spring Fling. We are all stoked. That’s not to be debated. What concerns us most is who is the best at being the most excited. It’s the age-old who-is-more-obsessed-with-Beyoncé paradigm. (#TBT to December 13th midnight Facebook statuses.) Chance is cool, because I discovered him. Did you see him at SOBs this summer? LOL, don’t even consider yourself a fan if you didn’t. Have you blogged about him?!! I DID FUCKING TWICE (on two of my Tumblrs and one WordPress). Did you change your status at 12:00:01 AM this morning asking Erica or Eli to marry you? Did you dream last night that James Blake might make a guest appearance? NYC is only like 1.5 hours away. It’s not completely unrealistic! Are you stoked to drop acid on Spring Fling?!?!?!?!?!!?!!? YAYAAAA!!!!!!!! Whatever your relationship with Chance is, exaggerate it. If you know anything less than everything about him, consider yourself a Joey Bada$$ fan.

All things considered though, this is fab.

This morning, Justin Bieber was arrested. This morning, I cried. I cried, like I cried in Never Say Never. But this time, I wasn’t crying because I was inspired. This time, I was crying because LEAVE JUSTIN ALONE! It’s not his fault he was swept up into the limelight by greedy Usher. It’s not his fault his hair is always perfectly coiffed. It’s not his fault that his body guards used two black SUVs to stop traffic to create a makeshift race track. It’s not his fault that he raced his yellow Lamborghini against a red Ferrari after he ”‘consumed some alcohol…[smoked] marijuana and consumed some prescription medication’” all before 10AM this morning. It’s not his fault. He is a victim. Don’t allow this hate crime against Bieber to go unnoticed.

The only thing I love more than the Missed Connections section of Craigslist is classism. So when I saw that the Yale Alumni Magazine had beautifully incorporated my two favorite things on the cover of their January/February issue, I jumped for joy! If you were wondering what the Yale Alumni Magazine is, then also me too. Is it a magazine for alumni? Written by alumni? An actual publication that is read? We don’t know. What we do know is that it has an editorial board that doesn’t understand the concept of “editing” or like “respect”.

Because I have never stepped foot in a public school, I know about metaphors. I would love to break  this one down so that those poor public school “people” will understand, but “low-hanging fruit” whatever. This sucks so much that I think I’ll let someone else write a YDN Opinion piece on this and get back to you later.

Happy New Year!

Today marks the official beginning of Facebook Rush (sometimes shortened to FBR). Facebook is a place of FOMO, and I’ve got it! There is no other time that I feel like more of an outsider than during FBR. And it’s because I don’t have cute pix of me in a bikini on a beach in Miami with mah gurlz, or of me drinking holding a beer  at DKE Tang with mah gurlz, or me behind the bar at Box with mah gurlz (not because I haven’t done these things, but because I don’t have gurlz). If you get jealous (like me) of your Facebook friends’ predictable picstitch of “professional” formal/21st birthday party/vacationing in the Caribbean photos that feature a text overlay (the best are made in Preview), today might put you over the edge. It might finally force you to put down the Froyo and pick up a PWG personal trainer. OMG LOL DID I JUST SAY PUT DOWN THE FROYO?!?! LIKE THAT’LL EVER HAPPEN LOL HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Do you like food trucks? Do you like free food? Do you like cool people? If you answered “yes”  to any of those questions, head on over to the New Haven Public Library Program Room (that room where you vote downstairs) at 6 p.m. tonight to get all the above. The American Studies class Public Humanities is launching their website New Haven Food Routes. They will be featuring segments of their website, filmed interviews, and interactive map. The event will be catered by the food trucks featured on the website. These Public Humanities kids are so cool, they even got written up in the YaleNews. Check out their Facebook event here!

Yes.