If you don’t go on many dates like me but want to on VDAY, here’s what you should do. Let’s assume this is a first date. High stakes. You cannot let your date know this is a date before you go. The stakes are too high. Too damn high. You’ll need to trick your date into spending a long night with you to make this spontaneous.

First thing you’ll need is a car. Tell your date you want to study at the Divinity School since you’re already in your car. Why not. Could be a quiet place. Upon picking up your date to go to Divinity School, have your steamiest tunes ready. I’m talking alternating between sexy sax and Peruvian flute with smooth R&B. Banks vs. Future. Back n forth n back n forth. It will be a ballet of emotions in the car. Make sure the heat is turned up and the sun roof is open. Hot n cold n cold n hot. They’ll know you weren’t really planning on going to the Divinity School. So where to? Why are we sweating and listening to steamy tunes?

Say something fun and fresh like “Hey, I don’t actually have that much work, do you want to do something fun and fresh? Or even dangerous? And pioneering?” They’ll know what you’re thinking, realizing there is a steamy takeout bag in the back seat, as well as a picnic table, space heaters, candles, and blankets. “Oh—That’s just some stuff I left in my car from my last camping trip with my EXXXXX. But…now that we have food and all of this equipment…want to just trespass and eat at the new colleges?” You ask, armed with knowledge from your intro psych class that your date will misattribute the extra adrenaline from trespassing to an attraction for you. Boom. Spontaneous. Dangerous. Fun. Fresh. Perfect Date. You’re welcome

5.) “When’s the last time you been to the stax?”

4.) “I’d use my guest swipe on you.”

3.) “I bought all my books this year. No rentals.”

2.) “I’ve seen you in PWG. Doing your squat thrusts.”

1.) “Would you be impressed if I told you I’m an admin on Overheard at Yale?”

Avid readers of the Herald (AKA friends of the Herald e-board) are probably well aware of my campaign to make Robyn, goddess of music and androgynous hair, our Spring Fling headliner. However, for the newbies out there, let me enlighten you. In the mid-2000s, God gave the world Robyn as an I’m-Sorry for the Bush years. Her mix of danceable pop and Swedish charisma have kept her both on the charts and in the hearts of the nation. And in many ways, Robyn has served as the spirit-guide of my own life. My workout playlist is actually just “Call Your Girlfriend” on repeat. Body Talk, Part II helped me through the saga that was Chuck and Blair’s breakup on Gossip Girl. Sometimes, when I’ve had a stressful day, I put on “Dancing On My Own” and dance on my own in my apartment, pretending that I am Robyn. If I were to describe Robyn in a word, it would be “everything.” There is only one thing that she is not: our 2015 Spring Fling headliner. This is my Everest, and I will not rest until I see Robyn onstage on Old Campus come April. #robyn4sf2015

Franzese came out in an open letter to his character Damian, calling him “an iconic character that people looked up to,” thanking him for giving him the strength to come out publicly.

To all those who were dubious of Franzese’s method acting skills, you were right; Damian is now out of the closet and fully functional.

You go Daniel!

Kraft Foods has announced it will recall the 96 thousand of wieners mistakenly labeled “Classic Wieners,” as these wieners may contain cheese.

How much is 96,000 pounds anyway? One swimming pool? 50 truckloads? Enough to supply Kobayashi for life?

The community of those who don’t REALLY keep kosher, but keep kosher, is infuriated. Even more so angry, is the subset of those non-milk-and-meat mixing individuals who are lactose intolerant.

The hot dogs, however, do NOT peel back like string cheese. Oh well.

In an apparent move to completely corner the gap-toothed aficionado market soon to be vacated by CBS upon David Letterman’s retirement, ABC is giving Michael Strahan as much airtime as possible. Already the current co-host of “Live With Kelly and Michael” which airs right after “Good Morning America”, Strahan is set to join the gang of gals of GMA (it’s what the true fans call it) a couple of days a week.

The cast greeted him with an alarm clock and a giant coffee mug! I get it! ‘Cuz the show’s earlier! I’m surprised he didn’t spike it and then sack George Stephanopoulos through the glass window and into Times Square.

I guess the 7x Pro Bowler has come along way.

For those of you like me whose mommys won’t let them cast eyes on the sex, violence, and gore of Game of Thrones, you’re in luck! Mad Men, the AMC historical drama long thought of as the heir to the Sopranos throne, whose plot is driven by character development and non twitter-exploding plot twists, is back.

We were last left off with Don beginning his “mandatory leave of absence.” So… the most exciting part of the show (Don kicking ass in the office with minimal to zero effort) seems to have disappeared. Maybe we’ll just get to see Don/Dick become a good dad who doesn’t sleep with anything that moves… YAWN.

Sit back and enjoy what is likely to be another lull filled season with a glass of scotch. It’s what Don would want.

Is this “designated smoking area” for all of campus? If so, why isn’t it packed? Or is it just for the courtyard? Or just for the Northern side of it? Or merely if you glance upon it?

Do Dport kids smoke more than the average student? Can you stand next to the bench and smoke? Or do you need to sit? Is there a time limit/cigarette limit for the bench? Is the wind pattern conducive for smoking in this specific spot? What if there’s a line? Is there a hidden guard enforcing the rule? Is there a cigarette dispenser in the buttery?

All I know is, if you need to bum a cig, maybe this is a solid place to check.

In advance of society tap week, Dean of Student Affiars Marichal Gentry sent out an email yesterday reminding societies and tapees about State Laws and undergraduate regulations regarding hazing, harassment and sexual misconduct, and blindfolding.

He understands that a “tradition for some societies has included blindfolding,” but he’s showing a lack of sensitivity to those undergrads in need of their weekly Thursday night BDSM traditions.

To all you undergrads that do dabble in the occasional weekly role-play, keep your doors locked.

As for professors, and grad students, tie away. Blindfolding seems to only be prohibited for undergrads.