Top Five Ways to Say “No” to “Do you sing?”

5 – Laugh nervously and mumble gibberish.

4 – Grab the kid listening patiently to Club Lax’s pitch and say “He does!” then dip.

3 – “Only in the shower, and I can’t remember the last time I showered.”

2 – Drop every sheet of paper you’ve begrudgingly accepted and sprint out of the bazaar and out of Payne Whitney altogether. Change your email address and your name. They will find you. Leave Yale and start a new life.

1 – Find middle C. Use your diaphragm. Stand up straight. Sing a perfect and extended “Noooooooooo” while making eye contact as you back away and disappear into the crowd.

—Emma Chanen

Credit/D/Fail

Credit: Meeting People

Oh, the places you’ll go! And, starting with Camp Yale, the people you’ll know. During this first week, you will meet dozens of Yalies as brainy and footsy as you. Camp Yale takes place before cliques solidify, when it is still socially acceptable to go up to anyone and introduce yourself. Making conversation during these early days is easy. You’ll find out someone’s college, hometown, high school, and then you’ll rattle through the list of people you think they may know, and vice versa. Once that’s done, you have officially made a Camp Yale Friend!

Some Camp Yale Friends will become best friends. Others will remain friendly faces for the next four years. Regardless, your peers are the best part about Yale, and you get to start meeting them as soon as you step foot on campus.

D: Free Food

Camp Yale is, above all, an unending stream of club showcases, open houses, and performances from the many student organizations trying to recruit your fresh faces. And all of these groups—whether it be the Yale Undergraduate Aerospace Association, the Tory Party, Club Equestrian, the Baker’s Dozen, or (if you’re lucky) the vaunted Stand-In-Line-In-The-Sun-Until-You-Reach-The-Tent-To-Shake-Salovey’s-Hand-For-Three-Seconds Club—rely on free food to lure you into their ranks.

Just remember: don’t sacrifice your inbox integrity. A bite now isn’t worth months of unwanted emails from the Independent Party. Instead of buying the hype, seek out the clubs that you’re actually interested in, not just the ones that splurged on BAR’s mashed-potato-bacon pizza.

Fail: Freshman Doubts

The worst part about Camp Yale, and about freshman year in general, is the uncertainty inherent to the newcomer. Post-senior spring, pre-settling in is a confusing, complicated time for anyone. Whatever you’re feeling, that’s fine. We all felt similarly when we were in your shoes. So allow us to assuage at least one concern right now: You belong here. You earned it.

And for the smaller stuff, I’d encourage you to practice the art of polite inquiry. Sophomores are stoked they’re no longer freshmen, and will be eager to impress you with their knowledge; juniors need freshmen to order around to get shit done, so they’ll help you out; and most seniors are magnanimous enough to at least point you in the right direction with a smile.

Freshman Doubts at their most malignant can keep you from finding new passions and growing as a person. The best way to overcome them is to become comfortable being uncomfortable. Get used to trying new things. Your new milieu has the potential for intimidation, but also for exhilaration. It’s all up to you.

—Marc Shkurovich

Keep reading here!

You’ve heard of Pepe’s and Sally’s, but so has your aunt who lives in Arizona. It’s time to take things to the next level. Whether you’re looking for a quick shot of caffeine or a plate of spicy tuna, we’ve got you covered:

–Silliman dining hall for breakfast, because hazelnut roast coffee.

–The HGS dining hall for Starbucks coffee.

–TD dining hall for on-campus dates (cute little booths create a semblance of privacy).

–Morse-Stiles for pizza. Shockingly good on a good day. Also in general the “Asian Bowls” are great, except (or maybe especially) when Chef Chris inexplicably sprinkles bits of Reese’s on top.

–TD dining hall for eating alone (if you’re not in TD).

–Saybrook dining hall for eating alone (if you’re in TD).

–The Yale Farm on Friday for homemade pizza (better than Morse-Stiles)!

–JE buttery for Capri Sun (also try an Hombredilla).

–TD buttery for the best quesadillas.

–Durfee’s for avocados (buy six with your lunch swipe).

–Hong Kong Market on Whitney for seaweed snacks in bulk, and dumplings that you can heat in the microwave.

–Saint Thomas More for study snacks (Chex Mix! Sugar cookies shaped like pumpkins on Halloween!).

–Mexican food truck near the ice rink for sustenance near Science Hill.

–Zaroka for their lunch buffet.

–Anaya Sushi for the all-you-can-eat (!) special.

–Maison Mathis after 7 p.m. for half off sandwiches.

–Jojo’s for honey ginger lemon tea. Hot or iced, that shit is medicinal.

–BK dining hall if you want to run into friends you haven’t seen in a minute, but are also OK risking the decent chance of awkwardly running into an old hookup at the dish-clearing station.

–The Pantry if you REALLY need a break from Yalies.

–Ivy Wok for late night pan fried pork dumplings and scallion pancakes.

–Salsa Fresca for the meal deal!

–Claire’s for frosting shots.

–Main Garden for the best (and cheapest) Chinese food. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. 

Keep reading here!