When you walk across that stage, shake hands with your school’s dean and accept your degree holder, you’re not just crossing into a new phase in your life — you’re also making a pledge to stop using some of the more annoying words and phrases you’ve adopted over the last four years. You can pat yourself on the back for ditching the #YOLO hashtag and wearing pants to class instead of your pajama bottoms, but that’s just not gonna cut it in the real word. You need to purge your vocabulary of anything that’ll keep you on the lowest rungs of the company ladder when you get a job. Here’s a sampling of those words and phrases:

I can’t even

Sentence fragments are the worst. They’re especially troublesome when you can’t even pinpoint what they’re supposed to mean. In context, “I can’t even” can refer to the user’s inability to process what’s happening at any given moment. Feel free to use it on Tumblr. That’s where it belongs.

Literally

People figuratively think, feel and do things all the time. There are times when something incredibly funny happens and you’re figuratively dying because you’re laughing so hard. And if somebody is literally the worst person in the world, well, you’re just 1) Being hyperbolic and 2) Can get the point across without using the “L” word. Pair this with the previous phrase and you literally won’t get hired ever.

Totes

The only proper use of the word “totes” is when you’re actually transporting something in a bag with the PBS logo. You gave up beezy a couple of years ago. This is the next logical step. At no point from here on out should you come close to insinuating that you’re toting goats. That part of your life is over. Kiss it goodbye.

Lol

There’s nothing wrong with typing “lol” into a text message, an IM or a Facebook post. It’s something completely different when you see someone walk around with his fly open, point at it and say the word out loud. Why? Because the act of laughing in and of itself is much more genuine. Laughter is what separates us from the animals. (Well, except the hyena.) Try saying “lol” out loud at a job where you’re not allowed to wear your Firefly T-shirt more than two days in a row and you’ll find yourself wondering where your red Swingline stapler went and filing TPS reports until retirement.

At approximately 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday, The Emerald and several other media outlets received a response to public records requests filed as early as May 7. The request was for any electronic communication between University of Oregon administrators and Athletic Director Rob Mullens or men’s basketball head coach Dana Altman in the days leading up to and following the investigation of three players in an alleged rape case.

The public records office cited the Family Education Rights Act, which it says “prohibits the university from providing educational records that are personally-identifiable to an individual that is now or who has ever been enrolled at the university.”

The three players, Damyean Dotson, Dominic Artis and Brandon Austin, are currently under investigation by the university. They have been booted from the team and Altman will remain as its coach. The Lane County District Attorney had dismissed the case in late April.

The Eugene Springfield Fire Department on Sunday responded to reports of a natural gas leak in Willamette Hall. No leak was found when officials investigated the building.

The agency responded when a professor forwarded emails from students who claimed to smell the odor of natural gas on the second floor of the building. A hazardous waste material handling team also responded to the scene, something officials say is standard protocol when this kind of call comes in.

“Once you initiate 9-1-1, you get the while package,” battalion chief Lance Lighty said.

The hazmat team left the scene once fire department officials concluded that there was no threat inside the building.

Physics GTF Dash Vitullo was working in his office when he heard the fire alarm go off. He said that it’s not unusual for the alarm to go off when foreign scents from nearby buildings or experiments make their way inside Willamette.

“But I don’t know if that has anything to do with the current situation,” he said.

As the term comes to a close, the three-day weekends — whether there’s a holiday on Monday or you just feel like blowing off class — are growing in number and in temperability. It’s getting warm out and it seems like everyone has plans. But not all getaways are created equal. There are some people out there who will start talking about their weekend plans and just not. Shut. Up. You know at least one of the following:

The festival-goer

You’ve gotten their Snapchats: It’s either a seven-second shot of the floral crown or bro tank that’ll succumb to ridiculous amounts of sweat or the cases upon cases of beer that probably won’t last past the first day of Sasquatch, Bamboozle or whatever other “hip” festival this person’s off to for the entire weekend.

If you happen to hear a friend or casual acquaintance utter the words “DMB” and “Gorge” in one sentence, run.

Run as fast as you can.

The playoff fanatic

Spring means championships. Whether it’s the NBA or the NHL, sticks, pucks and balls are flying all over the place. There’s no worse person to be around than your friend who’s taking it way too seriously — like, crying when the Blazers didn’t make it past the Spurs seriously.

Stay away from campus bars during playoff games. Unless you’ve had a drink or two already, you’ll leave places like Taylor’s and Fathom’s with nothing short of a migraine because of the ridiculousness of it all.

The camper

Camping in Oregon is pretty great. So great, in fact, that there’s an entire article in The Emerald dedicated to the best places in the state to do it. But it’s not any fun — any fun at all — when you discuss your camping plans with that one friend who raises an eyebrow anytime you start talking about what kind of tent you just bought or how many coolers full of PBR you’re lugging to Camp Sherman.

Sorry we didn’t grow up in the woods and can’t survive for three days with nothing but a Bowie knife and short length of fishing line. We all read Hatchet in fifth grade. That should be good enough for anyone.

The nerd

What’s worse than hearing about people’s weekend plans? Hearing about how you’re going to sit on the couch, Cheetos and Mountain Dew in hand, and marathon Game of Thrones to spot continuity errors between the show and the book or speed run the last Call of Duty. Nerds are the worst.

Instead of telling you about all the cool shit they’re going to do when it’s sunny and wonderful outside, they’re going on and on about how J.K. Rowling isn’t as ballsy as George R.R. Martin or just how screwed the next Star Wars movies are now that J.J. “Lens Flare” Abrams is at the helm.

It’s about time to drop this bomb: Battfleck will probably be the best thing to happen to the cowl since Adam West. Just sayin’.

The Shasta-goer

Oh. My. God.

Your bro/girl just spent the last two months getting in shape for one weekend and telling you about all of the “95s” he’s going to score in the days leading up to and afternoons aboard the S.S. Shasta. And you just know that the minute he or she gets back from a sobering weekend at Shasta Lake — JK, there’s nothing sober about it — it’s right back to the keggers and cheesy bacon tots at Rennie’s.

But that’s not all. Prepare for an Instagram feed chock-full of pretentious sunsets, keg stand videos and shots upon shots upon shots of god knows what.

The one who’s not doing anything

The nerds are bad enough. But at least they’re willing to admit to the fact that they have what others would consider lame weekend plans. These people are leeches. They’re the lowest of the low. They’re the ones who start the week by asking, “What are you up to this weekend?”

Slowly but surely — right around dollar beers — it turns into, “What are we doing this weekend?” Watch out for this move. These are the friends who suddenly elbowed their way into your wonderful three-day weekend. The ones who couldn’t bother to come up with plans of their own and instead rely on other people to get something started.

The worst part? This is you, me and everyone else we know about 50 percent of the time. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let other people do the work, right?

A man was hospitalized late Saturday night when an attempt to slide across the hood of a car stopped at a red light sparked a physical altercation near the corner of 13th Avenue and Alder Street. Witnesses say the car’s driver and passenger assailed the man, knocking him out with one punch in the parking lot of the 7-11 near the University of Oregon campus.

The victim was walking east from Max’s Tavern when he spotted the white BMW sedan just outside Dairy Queen at approximately 2:20 a.m. That’s when he decided to jump onto the car’s hood and slide across it.

The driver and passenger got out and confronted the man, who was walking alongside a group leaving Max’s after closing. Members of the group intervened in order to calm the passenger and driver down.

“We told them that he was drunk and that they should leave him alone,” Delaney Butler said.

The driver and passenger returned to the vehicle after the intervention and the man continued east on 13th toward campus. When the victim reached 7-11, the BMW had pulled up in front of Peachwave and the assailants resumed the confrontation.

An Emerald columnist was the only witness. Matt Halpin saw the driver of the BMW approach the victim and punch him, rendering the man unconscious. The driver and passenger returned to the car and sped off while Halpin and Opinion Editor Andrea Harvey called the police.

Butler and a friend arrived shortly after.

Paramedics responded and took the victim to Sacred Heart Medical Center before Eugene Police officers arrived at the scene.

The officers confirmed that they’re searching for the car and the alleged assailants. If found, the two may face assault charges.

This is the second violent altercation to occur at the corner of 13th and Alder over the weekend. Lee Ulbricht was arrested and charged with criminal mischief, physical harassment, disorderly conduct and damaging a vehicle on Friday night after an argument during a freestyle rapping competition turned violent.

Damyean Dotson, Dominic Artis and Brandon Austin made headlines this week when the Lane County district attorney revealed it had dropped an investigation into the alleged rape of a University of Oregon freshman by the three basketball players on March 9.

The Eugene Police Department released its official report on May 5. It details three separate incidents — two in a bathroom and another at an apartment leased to Dotson and Artis — over the course of 12 separate interviews.

The report mentions that the survivor told her father about the incident on March 9. The father called UOPD to report the rape. Campus police called the survivor, but she didn’t answer the phone. She reported it to the Eugene Police Department on March 14.

Artis and Dotson played in two games between the incident and the day the survivor reported the incident. Both games took place in Las Vegas during the Pac-12 tournament.

UOPD officer John Loos first met with the survivor on March 14, nearly a week after the events took place. UOPD communications officer Kelly McIver says Loos was in field training at the time and reported to EPD instead of UOPD.

“I was really mad at my dad,” she told Loos. “I wanted to report it, but on my own time.”

The Wall Street Journal reported on March 18 that Austin was also under investigation in Rhode Island for sexual assault he allegedly committed while enrolled at Providence College back in November. Austin transferred to the UO after he was suspended from the Providence team.

On April 14, the district attorney decided not to press charges on behalf of the state, citing insufficient evidence to prove criminal conduct although the DA said there’s no doubt the incidents occurred.

The men played two more road games during the March Madness series between the time the incident was reported and the district attorney’s dismissal of the case.

Dotson and Austin were suspended from the team on May 5 and Artis was reportedly transferring. The Eugene police report was made public the same day.

The following contains graphic details from the Eugene police report and may be triggering to some readers:

The survivor attended a party on the 1200 block of 22nd Avenue on March 8 earlier that day. The Ducks played Arizona in Eugene. When Eugene police officers shut the party down upon responding to a noise complaint, the survivor and a friend left. They heard about another party at 1975 Onyx St. from Oregon guard Joseph Young, whom the survivor met the previous day.

Dotson, Artis and Austin were at the party when the survivor arrived. After some time, Dotson and Austin accompanied the survivor into the bathroom. None of their accounts say she was forced into the bathroom.

“I had no idea what room we were going into. Then there were three of us in a small bathroom and I thought it was strange,” the survivor told Loos in his initial report. “I thought, maybe this is just what happens in college… just college fun.”

Once inside the bathroom, Dotson and Austin asked the survivor to dance and took her phone. All three parties have confirmed that oral sex took place in the bathroom.

Artis entered the bathroom. As the party wound down around 1:30 a.m., the survivor’s friend began to head home. The survivor said she was strong-armed into staying with the three men. Players denied this occurred. In an interview, a friend of the survivor recalls spending roughly 20 minutes arguing with the survivor and the men trying to get her to leave with them. The friend told the survivor that Dotson was “not a nice guy.”

The friend mentions that she had never been around the survivor while she’d been drinking, so she couldn’t say for certain how the survivor handled alcohol.

The survivor, the three players and a fourth man — who Artis identified as fellow Oregon basketball player Richard Amardi — entered an Oregon Taxi and rode to an apartment leased to Artis and Dotson.

Soaked from the rain, the woman asked for dry clothes. Artis provided her with a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. The survivor and the four men — Artis, Dotson, Austin and an unidentified man, who Artis and Dotson said was not a teammate, entered Artis’ room where the woman said she was again assaulted.

“I think I just gave up,” the survivor told Loos. “I let them do whatever they wanted, I just wanted it to be over and to go to sleep.”

During the incident, she began to cry. That’s when the three men stopped and left the room. She then went into the living room where Dotson and Austin were playing video games. She talked with Artis on the couch, then she and Artis went into his room and fell asleep until approximately 8 a.m.

The survivor took a taxi home, still wearing Artis’ clothes, as hers were still wet from the rain the night before.

University of Oregon President Michael Gottfredson announced on Friday that Dominic Artis, Damyean Dotson and Brandon Austin will no longer play for the Oregon men’s basketball team. Dana Altman will remain as head basketball coach. The action follows the Eugene Police Department’s public release of a report that the three players were accused of rape in March.

“We received the police report on April 24,” Gottfredson said in a prepared statement. “That enabled us to take action without jeopardizing a criminal investigation. Not all actions the university takes are disclosable. However, working with the UO Athletic Department, we took the following action: The three student-athletes were suspended. They will not be playing basketball at Oregon again.”

Artis, Dotson and Austin were the subject of an EPD rape investigation when the alleged survivor reported an assault on March 14, thus leading the University of Oregon to announce that they would no longer be participating in Oregon athletics.

“When you read the police report it is very clear that it is conduct that isn’t befitting of a university of Oregon student athlete,” Athletic Director Rob Mullens said.

The police department asked the UO to abstain from taking action in order to maintain the integrity of the investigation. The Lane County district attorney dismissed the case because of insufficient evidence to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

Artis and Dotson competed in both the Pac-12 and NCAA tournaments while the investigation was happening. Austin isn’t eligible to play until this December because of his transfer status.

Gottfredson said that he knew the identities of the players before the NCAA tournament. Athletic Director Rob Mullens said he did not.

The Oregonian reported on Thursday that Altman knew his players were under investigation before he let them participate in the NCAA tournament. However, he did not have their identities, according to Mullens. University officials approved the players’ participation.

University officials received the report on April 24, 10 days after the the district attorney dismissed the case. Gottfredson said that the administration began its own investigation. The players were suspended from the team on April 30, according to Mullens. The announcement of their suspensions came on May 5, hours before the police report was released to the public.

Gottfredson also announced the formation of an independent committee to investigate recruiting practices, among other things.

“Until we have a campus where everyone feels safe … we will not consider it good enough,” Gottfredson said.

Gottfredson had announced on April 3 that the university was renewing its commitment to preventing sexual violence. The Coalition to End Sexual Violence led a protest outside of Johnson Hall on Thursday afternoon. Coalition leaders announced plans to march outside the building every day at noon.

Gottfredson said the players’ actions as detailed in the report were “utterly unacceptable and will not be tolerated.”

“I understand and sympathize with the outrage that people feel. I’m angry and disappointed over this profoundly disturbing incident,” he said.

The university’s investigation is ongoing.

“We can’t comment directly on the investigation,” Vice President for Student Affairs Robin Holmes said during the press conference.

The Family Education and Rights Privacy Act dictates that universities and colleges can’t disclose information from student cases unless a student is found guilty of a sexual or violent crime.

The alleged assault occurred early in the morning of March 9 at two locations: Twice in a bathroom at Johnathan Loyd’s house and again at an apartment leased to Artis and Dotson.

Austin is also under investigation in Rhode Island for alleged sexual assault he committed while attending Providence College. That incident occurred in November and was first reported by the Wall Street Journal in March as the NCAA tournament was set to begin. He transferred to Oregon on Jan. 7, however Mullens noted that he was not aware of the accusations aimed at him.

“We were not aware,” Mullens said in regards to Austin’s transfer. “I do feel that a process was thorough, Coach Altman talked to the prior institution’s coach. The information that was relayed was somewhat limited because of law.”

Here’s Gottfredson’s statement in full:

“Sexual violence, assault, and harassment have no place on our campus or anywhere in our community. None. Ever.

The type of behavior in the police report released this week is utterly unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

I understand and empathize with the outrage people feel—as a father, I was appalled at what I read. As president of this university, I am angry and disappointed over this profoundly disturbing incident.

As you know, there are many details of this case that we cannot talk about. We can not discuss the specifics of this case, or any other case involving students. I know it’s frustrating, and we would like to say more, but we are not going to violate the laws that are in place to protect students’ privacy or the rights of our students—especially the survivor.

Here is what I can tell you:

– When the university was made aware of the incident, we immediately began our investigation and activated our established process of support and service. Immediately.

– We cooperated completely with law enforcement. The Eugene Police Department requested we not do anything that might hinder their criminal investigation—including suspending players or not playing them in a game. We complied fully with that request, and appropriately so.

– That does not mean we did nothing during that time. It simply means that we refrained, at the request of Eugene Police, from doing anything that might have alerted the persons the police told us not to alert to the investigation. Throughout, we continued to follow other steps of our regular process of investigation, and to provide support services, as we do for all such matters.

– We received the police report on April 24. That enabled us to take action without jeopardizing a criminal investigation. Not all actions the university takes are disclosable. However, working with the UO Athletic Department, we took the following action: The three student-athletes were suspended. They will not be playing basketball at Oregon again.

– We have, and we will continue, to pursue all appropriate action in this case. We have clear, established policies and protocols that we follow in all such cases.

– When and if we can share additional information, I assure you we will.

In the meantime, it is my great hope that we, as a university community, will take this opportunity to address the broader issues of sexual violence and harassment directly, openly, and decisively.

As a community, we need to engage in frank, productive discussions that will help eradicate such violence from our campus. Because even one instance of sexual assault in our community is too many.

Over the past few days, I have talked with students all across campus, to hear their feelings and concerns. Yesterday, I met with faculty members of the UO Coalition to End Sexual Violence, to gain their perspective and talk about how the campus can most effectively work together to end sexual violence in our community.

We have great expertise on our faculty, and we will draw on that and turn to them to help improve our response, support, and prevention practices.

We have a student body of caring, conscientious young people who want a safe and respectful community.

We will do whatever it takes to create a safe, secure environment for all our students, and foster a culture of respect and shared values on our campus. Our university will not tolerate behavior that runs counter to these values.

I am encouraged by the attention the problem of sexual assault on college campuses has received recently on a national level, as outlined in the recent report from the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault. This is an important step toward the kinds of deep cultural change that must take place to stop such violence on our campuses.

But the actions taking place nationally are not nearly enough. We must address this problem here on our owncampus and within our own community. We must take this opportunity to rise above the fray and become leaders in the fight to eradicate sexual violence from college campuses, beginning with our own.

Last fall, we commissioned an external review of our sexual misconduct policies and protocols, and we have already implemented or are in the process of implementing all of the recommendations of that report, including adding staff to support students who have experienced sexual violence. We have that report available for you.

Next week, I will announce details of an additional independent review I have ordered jointly with our Athletic Director and Vice President for Student Affairs to examine our practices for preventing and responding to sexual violence. We will appoint an independent panel, whose charge will include an examination of our athletic department’s recruitment practices, and a campus climate survey to learn more about the culture of our own campus community when it comes to sexual violence and harassment.

Our students’ safety and security is our top priority. We have strong policies and protocols in place, and we are working to make them stronger still.

Until we have a campus where every individual feels safe, where everyone is respected, and where no instance of sexual violence is tolerated, we will not consider it good enough.

This is a difficult time for our community, especially for those whose lives have been directly affected by sexual violence. As a university, we will take this time as an opportunity to make our campus safer, our community stronger, and our intolerance of sexual violence in any form clear and unequivocal.”

January 6, 2014 Brandon Austin transfers to Oregon from Providence College in Rhode Island midway through the basketball season. Austin had been suspended indefinitely from the school basketball team due to an undisclosed violation of student conduct code.

March 7, 2014 Survivor and her friend meet Oregon men’s basketball guard Joseph Young. The survivor recognizes Young from the basketball team and the two exchange numbers.

March 8, 2014 Ducks end their regular season with a 54-67 win against No. 3 Arizona.

March 9, 2014 Dotson, Austin and Artis allegedly assault a female at Johnathan Loyd’s house and Dotson and Artis’ apartment. The incident occurs between 12 a.m. and 2 a.m.

March 9, 2014 The University of Oregon learns of the alleged incident from the survivor’s father.

March 12 March Madness begins with Oregon vs. Oregon State in Las Vegas. Dotson and Artis each play for 23 minutes. Dotson scores 5 points. Artis scores 10 points and has six assists. Oregon wins 88-74.

March 13, 2014 Oregon plays UCLA in Las Vegas. Dotson plays for 24 minutes and Artis plays for 22. Dotson scores 4 points and has one assist. Artis scores 5 points and has 2 assists and 2 rebounds. Oregon loses 63-72.

March 14, 2014 Survivor contacts Eugene Police Department about the alleged incident.

March 18, 2014 The Wall Street Journal reports that Brandon Austin was suspended from Providence College basketball games due to allegations of sexual assault.

March 20, 2014 Oregon vs. BYU in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Dotson plays for 21 minutes and Artis plays for 11 minutes. Dotson scores 4 points and has 3 assists and 2 rebounds. Artis scores 3 points and has 1 assist and 1 rebound. Oregon wins 87-68.

March 22, 2014 Oregon plays Wisconsin in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Dotson plays for 19 minutes. Artis plays for  7 minutes. Dotson scores 5 points and has 5 rebounds. Artis has 2 points and 1 assist and 1 rebound.  Oregon loses 77-85.

April 3, 2014 Michael Gottfredson releases a statement saying that the university is renewing its commitment to preventing sexual violence. The statement’s release coincides with the beginning of Sexual Assault Awareness month.

April 14, 2014 District Attorney declines to pursue the case because “the conflicting statements and actions by the victim make this case unprovable as a criminal case.”

April 24, 2014 University of Oregon receives police report.

May 1, 2014 Board of Trustees alerted by Chairman Charles Lillis that three basketball players were in trouble and to expect media attention.

May 5, 2014 Athletic Department releases statement that Dotson, Austin and Artis have been suspended from the basketball team.

May 5, 2014 Police report on incident released to public.

May 5, 2014 Michael Gottfredson releases statement saying, “We are deeply concerned about information contained in the police report recently released by the Eugene Police Department … The university takes allegations of misconduct very seriously.” A secondary statement is released the following morning.

May 6, 2014 Robin Holmes and Rob Mullens release a statement that university administrators began investigating immediately, but that law enforcement agencies often request a delay on action in order to avoid interference in open cases.

May 6, 2014 DA releases statement, saying that in evaluating the case”the focus was on evidence of consent or the inability to consent. In making the initial determination we evaluated the presumption of innocence and the State’s burden of proof.”

The following open letter was posted by the University of Oregon’s Coalition to End Sexual Violence following a report of sexual assault by former Oregon men’s basketball player Damyean Dotson, which also included former players Brandon Austin and Dominic Austin. 

The UO Coalition to End Sexual Violence expresses its deepest sympathy to the survivor whose reports of sexual assault have recently surfaced. We are devastated by this most recent report of rape on our campus. We grieve for this young woman and her family, as we have grieved for so many women who have been victims not only of sexual violence, but of institutional processes that privilege the rights of alleged perpetrators over the rights of those who have been victimized. We apologize to her and her family for the acts of violence that have occurred during her education, an experience that should be safe and equitable.

We are beyond frustrated that the University of Oregon has failed to prevent acts of violence like this from occurring on our campus. For several years, faculty, staff, and graduate students have expressed their concerns about campus sexual assault policies. As individuals and as members of groups, we have written emails, sat in meetings, and met with survivors of rape and harassment. This past winter, and in light of proliferating evidence of the University of Oregon’s institutional betrayal of survivors, we organized ourselves as the University of Oregon Coalition to End Sexual Violence (UO-CESV) in order to mobilize to address the rape supportive subcultures that exist on college campuses around the country and to create a sense of urgency around addressing sexual violence on our campus.

But we have not been able to move quickly enough. While the UO claims to foster a safe and equitable educational experience and to respond with the utmost seriousness to sexual violence, cases like this most recent one illustrate the dysfunction within our campus community, the ineffectiveness of our local law enforcement, and the apparent lack of institutional control over our athletics department.

For too long, we have been falsely assured that the university responds swiftly and effectively to survivors. For too long, we have been told that the university “has established internal conduct processes for handling misconduct allegation.” When we raised issues about serial perpetrators, we were told that the university had no evidence about these. When we talked about institutional betrayal, we were repeatedly told by UO administrators that the people they meet with have uniformly positive experiences of the process. We are angry and bitter that this institution has betrayed our trust. When our institution is more interested in winning ball games than protecting students, that is institutional betrayal. This type of betrayal harms us all.

It’s time to hold UO accountable. UO-CESV is calling for an investigation of the process whereby a basketball player who had been suspended along with another student for “not upholding their responsibilities as student-athletes” was welcomed into the UO community. We want a public meeting to discuss the Student Code of Conduct and the way in which UO itself is handling this investigation.

Does the number 420 mean anything to you? Of course it does. It’s when your big brother used to disappear in the basement with his friends only to emerge 20 minutes later with a mad craving for anything cheesy in the pantry.

We’ve come a long way since Reefer Madness was released (78 years, to be exact) and marijuana is far more acceptable in our society than it ever has been. Colorado residents can toke with reckless abandon. Washingtonians can, too.

So why is it that Oregonians still can’t walk to a dispensary and swipe a card to buy some recreational marijuana? There have been plenty of legalization measures on the state ballot over the years and you’d be hard pressed to walk from Kincaid to Agate without running into somebody who’s lit up a roach in the last month. Hell, there’s even a spot outside of Allen Hall known as The Smoking Tree.

From the first Cheech and Chong film (1978’s Up in Smoke) to last year’s This is the End, marijuana has taken considerable leaps into the mainstream. It’s no longer considered the brain-killing, burnout-inducing drug it once was.

With two states having legalized recreational pot, there’s little doubt that much of the U.S. will follow.

That’s why we’re here.

If this year’s mid-term elections earn marijuana the same legal status as tobacco and alcohol, you want to be prepared, right? From strain reviews — penned anonymously, of course — to the repercussions of what happens if you’re caught toking without a medical marijuana card, we’ve got you covered. This edition of The Emerald is dedicated to weed. If it’s not your thing, don’t go any further (but please, read further. The Daily Jade is getting dangerously close to our circulation numbers.)

Here’s your guide to weed culture at the University of Oregon.

Want more weed? Here are other Emerald stories about the green.

Why a weed issue?

Let’s clear the smoke an introduction to the Emerald’s weed issue

What do you people actually think about pot?

Weed Diaries

Getting high:

The effects of marijuana on your brain

Eugene baker Sharon Cohen makes strides in hemp food market

More than smoke, edibles offer a different marijuana experience

What is your preferred method of flight?

Dank or Schwag: Do G13, Matanuska Thunder Fuck or Peter Danklage disappoint?

Anatomy of a bong

High activities:

Altered states transform ordinary games into memorable highs

Tichenor: You think ‘Harold and Kumar’ is about weed? Think again.

Playlist: Songs to get high to

This is what happens when you listen to Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ while stoned

The legal stuff:

Is it time for Oregon to legalize marijuana?

Getting caught with marijuana on campus can have consequences

Medicinal use:

Eugene’s newest medical marijuana dispensary Oregon Medigreen brings patients relief

Eugene’s Elvy Musikka is one of only four recipients of federal medical marijuana for Glaucoma

Strict medical marijuana restrictions may hinder those in need