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Overheard around campus

 

“I don’t give blowjobs, I give blowcareers!”

Science Teaching and Student Services building

 

Guy 1: “I have, like, a cramp right now.”

Guy 2: “You on your period?”

TCF Bank Stadium

 

“I put my penis in her lots of times, but it wasn’t sex.”

Middlebrook Hall

 

Guy [singing]: “We’re up all night to get stoned, we’re up all night to get stoned, we’re up all night to get stoned, we’re up all night to find cookies.”

15th Avenue on 4/20

 

“I’m going through menopause right now, and I’m just a man and I pause a lot!”

Middlebrook Hall

 

Girl 1: “The poop’s gone.”

Girl 2: “It’s not gone!”

Pioneer Hall

 

Conductor: “Enjoy the D.”

Ferguson Hall

 

Guy: “My shorts are falling down; I need more butt! White people problems.”

East River Flats

 

“Parents are like gateway drugs.”

Coffman Union

 

 

“I was gay once for a long time. It’s OK, we all do it!”

Bus outside Folwell Hall

 

Guy 1: “Cyborg cats are good. Except cyborg dogs. We want real dogs so they’ll love you.”

Guy 2: “But then you could program them not to eat their own poop.”

Guy 1: “I think you have to give them the freedom to eat their own poop for them to really love you.”

Middlebrook Hall

 

Student: “I just don’t get how to draw breasts.”

TA: “They don’t hang straight forward. They have to be separate — like church and state.”

Regis Center for Art

 

Girl 1: “Follow my voice.”

Girl 2: “Where is your voice?”

Girl 1: “My voice is right here.”

Sanford Hall

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Praising Social Security benefit cuts

By: Roberto de Freitas, University student

 

The Obama administration’s plan to cut Social Security benefits has received resounding approval by corporate media as a courageous move toward the center by President Barack Obama as well as an effort to use a more acute measure of inflation. Neither claim is trustworthy. Part of the administration’s plan is to change how inflation is calculated by switching to the “chained consumer index.” This would result in a small reduction in benefits that compounds over time, so the cuts get larger as retirees get older. Many in the corporate-controlled media depicted this as a bold centrist move.

Who exactly wants to see Social Security and Medicare cuts? Not many people, according to a recent Washington Post poll. Just 17 percent supported cutting Medicare benefits, and 21 percent said the same for Social Security. This finding is hardly surprising; throughout the past few years, budget deadlines and the budget cliffs, the American public has at no time expressed any robust backing for cutting Social Security expenditure to decrease the budget deficit. This inference in much of the corporate coverage of the issue is that both “extremes” will be unhappy, and thus the “center” will be content.

But this middle ground is a manifestation of the concentration of corporate media talking points. Corporate media has been part of the extensive campaign of misinformation as it relates to Social Security’s supposed funding crisis. The Obama administration is supporting an effort to cut benefits in the name of deficit reduction; it is not surprising that some in the media are championing those efforts and framing them as valiant centrism.

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Men roll into postseason

By: Dane Mizutani

The No. 32 Gophers men’s tennis team ended its successful regular season with decisive wins over Nebraska and Iowa.

Minnesota beat Nebraska 5-2 on the road Friday and Iowa 7-0 at home Sunday. The victories made Minnesota a lock for the NCAA tournament next month.

Young said he was satisfied with the way his team handled the weekend.

“This was a tough weekend … because the guys are all pretty tired but also because the Big Ten tournament is right around the corner, and we didn’t want to look ahead to that,” he said.

His team came focused and took care of business.

Minnesota’s only lost points during the weekend came from Jack Hamburg at No. 3 singles and Mathieu Froment at No. 4 singles against Nebraska. Those two bounced back from the losses with wins Sunday against Iowa.

The Gophers’ victory against Iowa was their first sweep of the season.

Minnesota has won nine of its past 10 matches heading into this week’s Big Ten tournament, and head coach Geoff Young said his team is peaking at the right time.

“It was a big turnaround from the start of the season,” he said. “We lost a lot of 4-3 matches at the start of the season, and then right around the start of the Big Ten season, we started winning some of those matches.”

That has equated to a very successful season. In fact, it’s been one of the best seasons in recent memory.

Minnesota will finish tied with Michigan for second in the Big Ten — the first time since 2000 the team finished as high as second in the conference.

“I always say there are three seasons,” Young said. “There’s the nonconference season, the conference season and now the postseason.

“We’re done with season two, and now it’s time for season three.”

Women close out season with two losses

Minnesota’s women’s tennis lost a pair of 6-1 matches to Nebraska and Iowa during the weekend.

The Gophers have lost eight of their past nine matches after their six-match winning streak in the middle of the season.

“We knew Nebraska was a good team,” head coach Chuck Merzbacher said, “but as a team, we’re disappointed in the loss to Iowa.

“We could have really helped our seeding with a win, and as a whole we’re disappointed.”

Merzbacher said he wants his team to use the loss as incentive to perform better at the Big Ten tournament next weekend.

Minnesota’s only points during the weekend came from victories by freshman Jessika Mozia against Nebraska and sophomore Aria Lambert against Iowa.

The Gophers will need to win next weekend’s Big Ten tournament to make the NCAA tournament in a few weeks.

“We’ve got to be really tough right now,” Merzbacher said. “We need to buckle down and really get mentally tough.”

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Tired team fares well

By: Nate Gotlieb

The Gophers rowing teams had a successful weekend at the Clemson Invitational in Clemson, S.C., despite a hectic travel schedule.

The team recorded four top-three finishes and won one event — a second varsity eight heat Saturday afternoon.

But the Gophers nearly didn’t make it there.

They were scheduled to fly out of Minneapolis in two shifts Thursday. The first shift got out without problem, but the second group’s flight was canceled.

Assistant coach Teresa Logemann scheduled the second group on four flights Friday — one of the groups didn’t arrive at its hotel in Clemson until about seven hours before the first race. Three rowers on the first varsity four boat missed their race Saturday after they were stuck in Philadelphia.

The first varsity four finished last in its Saturday afternoon race, placing behind Tennessee, whom they had beaten handily last month.

“We’d been traveling for about two days straight,” said sophomore Rachael Rogers, the boat’s coxswain, “so I don’t think we were as prepared as we wanted to be for that race.”

Still, even with the exhausting travel schedule, the Gophers had a solid weekend.

Minnesota’s top varsity eight boat finished second, third and fourth in its three races.

The crew had equipment problems in its first race, and one of the rowers fell off her seat, forcing the crew to stop. The boat finished fourth with a time of 6:40.3 despite the rocky start.

The crew placed second in its Saturday afternoon race (6:26.3) but finished four seconds behind No. 18 Louisville.

Head coach Wendy Davis said the top varsity eight boat was too eager and rowed poorly Saturday afternoon.

Davis said the crew rebounded Sunday morning. The boat finished third (6:52.2), 12 seconds behind No. 4 Ohio State and six seconds behind No. 5 UCLA.

The second varsity eight boat placed fourth in its Saturday morning race (6:46.8). The crew won its Saturday afternoon race (6:31.7) and capped the weekend with a third-place finish Sunday (7:09.0).

“[Saturday morning] was a little bit rough,” junior Sarah Sobek, a rower on the second varsity eight, said Sunday. “But I think we pulled it together pretty well. … I know that everyone is still a little exhausted even now.”

Notes

– Senior captain Ali Haws, a member of the first varsity eight, was injured Saturday and did not race Sunday. Davis said she could be out for a while.

– Davis credited Logemann, the assistant coach, for getting the team to Clemson despite the poor weather. “If there was going to be a Big Ten boat of the week, it should be Teresa,” Davis said.

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Gophers energized, efficient in Saturday scrimmage

By: Nate Gotlieb

The Gophers football team played with energy and confidence during Saturday’s scrimmage, running the ball well and playing aggressive defense in front of a large crowd at the Gibson-Nagurski Football Complex.

With hundreds of fans and more than 60 kids from the Minnesota Epilepsy Foundation’s Shining Star program in attendance, the Gophers looked sharp on both sides of the ball.

Sophomore quarterback Philip Nelson led the first-team offense on an efficient touchdown drive to start the scrimmage. He completed more than half his passes while not turning the ball over.

Running backs David Cobb, Donnell Kirkwood and Cole Banham all broke long runs as the Gophers’ offense scored several early touchdowns.

The defense struggled early before holding the offense to several three-and-outs. It also stopped the offense in a red-zone drill for the first time in nine tries.

Family of Gophers TE safe after West, Texas, explosion

The family of Gophers tight end and West, Texas, native Lincoln Plsek is safe after a fertilizer plant exploded Wednesday night. The explosion in West killed 14 and injured about 200.

The explosion struck the plant at about 8 p.m. on Wednesday, leveling a four-block area of the town, according to The Associated Press.

Plsek, whose family lives two miles away from the plant, got in touch with his mom at about 9 p.m. on Wednesday.

His family stayed at his grandparents’ house about 10 minutes out of town Wednesday night. Plsek stayed up the whole night watching news reports on CNN.

Plsek dedicated Thursday’s practice to those injured and killed.

He said a relative’s dad died in the explosion.

Plsek said he plans to play in the spring game next Saturday and finish the semester. Then he’ll return to West.

“Obviously I want to go down there and help so bad,” Plsek said after practice Thursday. “But it might just be the best decision to stay up here and wait it out.”

Notes

  • Defensive linemen Scott Ekpe and Hendrick Ekpe missed Saturday’s practice because of a family situation.
  • With two practices and the spring game remaining, the Gophers will limit some of their top players to prevent injury, offensive coordinator Matt Limegrover and defensive coordinator Tracy Claeys said Saturday.

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Gophers tie for third in Pennsylvania

By: Nickalas Tabbert

The Gophers men’s golf team shot 44-over par to finish tied for third out of 14 teams at the Rutherford Intercollegiate during the weekend.

Binghamton University shot 38-over par to win the tournament, which was held at Penn State’s Blue Course in University Park, Pa. Xavier shot five shots behind Binghamton to finish second, and Minnesota tied with Penn State for third.

Tyler Lowenstein led the Gophers with a 10th-place finish. The sophomore shot a 10-over par 223 in the 54-hole event.

The rest of the Gophers all finished within four shots of Lowenstein. Seniors Erik Van Rooyen and Robert Bell and junior Jon Trasamar tied for 22nd at 13-over par. Junior Alex Gaugert finished 29th, one shot behind.

Minnesota will compete at the Big Ten championships next weekend in French Lick, Ind.

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Pitino talks expectations, staff

By: Andrew Krammer

Gophers men’s basketball coach Richard Pitino has hired three assistants and nabbed a recruit two weeks into the most recognizable job of his life — all after watching his father, Louisville coach Rick Pitino, win the NCAA championship in Atlanta on April 8.

“It was hard for me because I just took the job,” Pitino said. “I had so much going on, and I wanted to just turn my phone off and enjoy it.”

Pitino welcomed media into his office at the Bierman Field Athletic Building for the first time this week and discussed his expectations, his analysis of the team and his staff.

You were quoted as saying it would be pretty unrealistic to expect an NCAA tournament berth next season. What did you mean by that?

That’s not really what I meant by it. I meant should the expectations be as high this year as they were last year? My point is we’re losing two starters in the frontcourt. Two very good players … and we don’t have the depth necessary just yet.

What is your assessment of the frontcourt?

It’s too soon to tell. Charles Buggs has not been working out because he has mono and Mo Walker got hurt a little bit. Elliott Eliason is good, worked hard. We’ve certainly got some great pieces; we don’t have all the pieces intact just yet.

Do you have a sense of what type of player Andre Hollins is and what he can bring?

I do. That’s not a hard one to figure out. He’s a great player, really talented. Probably one of the more talented guards I’ve been around —scores the ball at a great rate, very competitive.

Do you anticipate any attrition or transfers?

No.

It’s been a while, but obviously [assistant Kimani Young’s] past has been well-documented. How has he grown from that?

I think he made a mistake 14 years ago. I think his story is incredible with how he’s been able to rebuild his life and get to this point.

You had said you’re not looking for ‘yes men’ for your assistants. What are you looking for in your staff?

I want great chemistry. I’ve worked on some staffs where we had great chemistry. I need guys that complement each other and guys that make me better. I don’t want all the same guy.

In terms of advanced stats, what do you look at and what do you bring to the table?

I’ve always been into stats. If we do a game, we’ll chart deflections, steals, charges, blow-bys defensively. We have a bunch of little stats that we chart that you won’t see on a stat sheet.

Do you talk to your dad or Billy Donovan about the job?

Yeah, I talked with him every day, alked to Billy Donovan a lot, too. ‘How would you deal with this certain thing?’ It’s great because they’ll have different opinions. None are right or wrong — it’s just what you believe.

How do you go about selling a program, one without a practice facility?

Louisville had the nicest arena in the country. We didn’t get our players because of that. We got our players because of the people, the coaching staff, the players around them.

Do you think the lack of a practice facility is being blown out of proportion?

Yes. I think a practice facility is going to make my life easier. I’m not sure it’s going to change much more than that. We’ve got enough here right now, and I’ve got full confidence in Norwood Teague and his staff that they’re going to get that done.

What’s next on your to-do list? You’ve got individual workouts, recruiting, what else?

You have to make sure the guys that are here get better. I’ve got to get great relationships with these guys in the time being. I have to solidify my staff and then get on to recruiting. I can’t make a mistake of neglecting the players here. I have to make sure those guys understand what I expect of them and the culture I’m trying to build because it’s going to be different than what they’re used to. Right or wrong, it’s going to be different. 

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Bell Museum could get new life

By: Alexi Gusso

Susan Weller spent Christmas Eve 2008 at the Bell Museum of Natural History.

But the first-year museum director didn’t go to catch up on work or for a holiday party. A pipe had burst on the third floor, and the museum’s famous dioramas were in danger.

“That night was supposed to be a family gathering,” she said. “And instead I was mopping water.”

The museum floods often because of its antiquated 1930s-era plumbing system, one of several outdated features of the roughly 70-year-old building that puts the museum’s valuable exhibits at risk.

After nearly 20 years of requests, the Bell Museum may finally receive funding to build a new 83,000-square foot facility and a 120-seat planetarium on the University of Minnesota’s St. Paul campus.

Rep. Alice Hausman, DFL-St. Paul, included $47.5 million to be allocated for the project in her $800 million bonding bill. The bill, which allocates state funds to construction projects, has been approved by two House committees and will go

before the full Legislature later this month.

The University didn’t request funding for the project in its 2013 Capital Budget request, but the project is listed as “under consideration” in the University’s six-year capital plan of projects it wants to complete before 2018.

Hausman, who has pushed for a new museum for nearly a decade, said she included the money for the museum in her bill because she felt the project was “unfinished business.”

The museum, which contains wildlife art collections, biological specimens and dioramas that depict realistic scenes from Minnesota’s natural environment, hosts about 50,000 people per year. Hausman said she thinks with a new, more accessible facility on the corner of Larpenteur and Cleveland avenues in St. Paul, the visits will quadruple.

‘Unfinished business’

The Legislature chartered the museum in 1872 to be a place to “carry on a thorough geological and natural history survey of the state” that would be controlled by the University.

“They were visionaries then,” Hausman said. “Since then, we’ve sort of forgotten about it as our obligation.”

Scott Lanyon, who served as director of the museum from 1995 to 2008, made moving the museum a priority when he started.

“[The current facility] says to anyone who comes into the building that this is about how science used to be; it’s not modern,” he said. “And that’s an unfortunate message for a museum associated with a top research university.”

It took Lanyon 13 years to convince University officials to include Bell funding in its Capital Budget request.

“I denied any possibility that it would take that long,” Lanyon said.

In 2008, then-University President Bob Bruininks  included $24 million in funding for the first time in the bonding request. Though the Legislature approved it, then-Gov. Tim Pawlenty eventually line-item vetoed it.

That year, Lanyon resigned. He said the veto did influence his decision, but he also felt it was time for someone new to take control of the project.

When Weller became director, the funding was once again approved by the full Legislature in 2009 only to be vetoed by Pawlenty a second time.

“I was so depressed that day,” Weller said. “The first veto was discouraging, but the second one was just really hard.”

Hausman contacted Pawlenty to question why he vetoed the project. He said he thought the Minnesota Zoo and Science Museum of Minnesota were already doing similar things, she said, noting that his response “stunned” her.

“It struck me as so ill-informed about the project,” she said.

This year, Hausman said, she’s “fighting hard” to get the votes she needs for the entire bonding bill to pass. Unlike most bills, bonding bills require a supermajority. This year, Hausman needs 81 out of 134 votes, which means every democrat and eight republicans.

‘Satisfied, not thrilled’

Outdated plumbing, rodent infestations and mold issues plague the museum, which has stood on 17th and University avenues since 1940. Other than an addition in the 1970s, the building has gotten few updates.

The building also lacks central air conditioning, which causes wild temperature and humidity swings that can damage the original panoramic paintings that serve as backdrops for the dioramas.

The lack of a humidity-controlled environment is especially damaging in the summer months. The museum no longer displays art exhibits during the summer, Weller said.

“We cannot ensure that the art will be maintained properly,” she said.

The Bell rents exhibits from other museums around the country. The exhibits are stored in wooden crates in the basement, where flooding occurs whenever there is a heavy or prolonged rainfall.

A single drain in the basement is all that protects the crates from water damage.

“We recognize that we’re pushing the envelope as far as what’s accepted,” said Martin Moen, the museum’s spokesman, who admitted the contributing museums would be “satisfied, but not thrilled” with the Bell’s storage setup.

The current facility is also unaccommodating to school buses and lacks proper wheelchair access.

Making do

After years of denied funding, the museum has remained committed to the educational mission that the 1872 Legislature envisioned.

“What we’ve done since is just do our best to spruce up the place and make changes that are within our control,” Weller said.

In 2011 the Bell Museum “spruced up” and merged with the Minnesota Planetarium Society to host the ExploraDome, a traveling planetarium. The planetarium — which fits roughly 15 to 20 people — currently sits in a small room on the first floor of the Bell Museum, apart from the displays. If the $47.5 million is approved, a new 120-seat planetarium will be built and connected to the new museum in St. Paul.

The Bell still hosts events and educational workshops for children ranging from kindergarten to middle school. One current program, “Honey Bees, Pollinators and Food,” allows elementary students to watch University bee researchers collect honey from hives and understand the significance of bees in Minnesota.

In a lab with bee body parts and honeycombs under tables of microscopes, Moen pointed proudly at a wall display created by a fifth-grade class featuring football-sized honey bees with wings made of cut plastic water bottles.

“The building may be in disrepair,” he said. “But we’re still doing things like this.”

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Proposal would redistribute orchestra funds

 

Jonathan Magness misses his family.

He’s on the road, filling in as a violinist for the Philadelphia Orchestra while he waits for a deal to be made with the Minnesota Orchestra.

“It’s wonderful to be able to play with these other orchestras and great musicians and stuff,” he said. “But I have two small children and am married, so it is also a bit of a burden.”

The labor dispute that has stopped orchestra performances hit the six-month mark this month. But the orchestra isn’t getting much more time from the Legislature.

Rep. Phyllis Kahn, DFL-Minneapolis, proposed an additional piece to the Legacy omnibus bill that would mean funds normally appropriated to the ensembles are given to different arts organizations if a deal isn’t made soon.

As of this week, the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra is close to reaching an agreement and will begin concerts, assuming the musicians and the American Federation of Musicians ratify the agreement. The Minnesota Orchestra is still in a lockout.

Kahn said the proposal would offer alternative options for artists to perform outside of the orchestras if a deal isn’t made within 30 days of the bill being enacted.

“Instead of giving [the musicians] this money directly, we are giving it to the Minnesota Arts Board,” Kahn said. “It puts money into a fund that could be used to go towards concerts.”

A stipulation in the proposal prohibits the Minnesota State Arts Board from giving any of the funds to the Minnesota Orchestra or the SPCO if performances remain at a standstill.

The bill moved past the House Ways and Means committee last week, and Kahn said it’s likely to pass.

She said many Minnesotans are “devastated by the lack of music,” and her bill will encourage a deal between musicians and board members.

“I was talking to one person … and she said she’s left half-a-million dollars to the Minnesota Orchestra in her will and she wants to change it,” Kahn said. “A lot of people have said they are pulling back their funding.”

University of Minnesota School of Music Director David Myers said he’s concerned about the consequences of moving funds away from the orchestras because of the impact it will have on the musicians.

“If you disadvantage the institution, there is going to be a domino effect where ultimately you disadvantage the musicians,” he said.

Some musicians have decided to leave the Minnesota orchestras for other opportunities while the concert hall remains silent, which Magness said will make coming back more difficult if a deal is made.

“The reason the orchestra was great is because of the people who were there,” he said. “And when those people leave, you aren’t as good as you were, even if you hire 24 outstanding positions.

“It’s about chemistry.”

Impact on the U

Musicians in both orchestras aren’t the only ones impacted by the hiatus.

At the University, students in the School of Music are missing out on a partnership the school normally holds with the Minnesota Orchestra.

Students usually attend concerts by the orchestra and speak with its music director, Osmo Vänskä, Myers said.

“I think it has been discouraging not to have that opportunity this year,” he said.

The School of Music boasts several faculty members from the Minnesota Orchestra and St. Paul Chamber Orchestra, but Magness said it doesn’t replace the benefits of seeing artists perform live.

“I can say for sure in all of my schooling years, I’ve learned more from going to a great recital of a great violinist or a great orchestral concert,” he said.

Violin performance senior Megan Poppe said the impasse has caused a huge loss for music enthusiasts and students in Minnesota.

“It was one of the top orchestras in the country, and the fact that we’ve lost them for this year and maybe longer is sad for any future orchestra players,” she said.

Myers said the openings aren’t an advantage for students because most graduates will need more musical experience before trying out for either Minnesota orchestra.

The Minneapolis and St. Paul orchestras aren’t the only ensembles to have disagreements in recent history. Myers said the disputes are a trend and an indication of a changing climate for orchestras around the country.

“Any time musicians are not able to sustain their work and their incomes, naturally our faculty and our students will feel concerned because our job is to prepare career musicians,” Myers said. “So yes, we feel concerned about the future.”

In response, Myers said the School of Music is incorporating more business lessons into the curriculum by tapping resources at the Carlson School of Management.

“The question is, ‘How do we sustain the orchestra, and how do we try to sustain the musicians even in the face of a very challenging economy?’” he said. “And I don’t think any of us have the absolute answers to those questions. I think we need a lot of research and a lot of dialogue.”

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Student group hopes to bridge achievement gap

By: Kia Farhang

Gus Gleiter wants underserved kids to know they can go to college.

He and other members of Students for Education Reform will give local ninth graders a taste of life at the University of Minnesota on Thursday as part of their efforts to combat the educational achievement gap.

“What we’re trying to do is kind of plant the seeds of college,” the history and communications senior said.

Students from the Minneapolis College Preparatory School — a public charter school that opened last year — will take a campus tour, see a chemistry demonstration and meet with student groups at Thursday’s “College 101” event, Gleiter said.

“The thing about SFER is that we want to make it clear to these kids that they can go to college,” he said. “We want to combat … the defeatist mentality of ‘this wouldn’t even be possible’ for them.”

MCPS students visited the University in October, said college counselor Taylor Wright, but they mainly interacted with the Office of Admissions.

“The kids just didn’t really get a lot from it,” Wright said.

Because most MCPS students don’t have college-educated parents, Wright said, “they just don’t know what college really means.”

Wright said she thinks Thursday’s programming will better suit MCPS’s diverse student body.

A day in the life

Disparities in educational achievement across racial and economic lines — often referred to as the “achievement gap” — have received attention nationwide.

In 2011, about 84 percent of white high school students in Minnesota graduated on time, according to the Minnesota Department of Education. Less than half of all black students accomplished the same.

“We cannot be competitive going into the near future with the kind of graduation rates that we have,” said Sondra Samuels, president and CEO of the Northside Achievement Zone, a nonprofit that prepares children living in north Minneapolis for college.

Samuels said the achievement gap is preventable and that children rise or descend to the expectations set for them.

“We’ve never, as a country, done right by particularly low-income Americans and Americans of color,” Samuels said. “Our remedy for kids who go astray … the only thing we guarantee them is prison.”

Nationwide, more than 80 percent of students from high-income families who graduated from high school in 2010 attended college right away, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. About half of students from low-income families did so.

Thursday’s event is designed to show kids what a day in the life of a college student is like, SFER member Kenneth Eban said.

“If you never come to a college campus, there’s always going to be that barrier in your mind,” said Eban, a political science sophomore.

He said his group is working with MCPS because they’ve had a good relationship in the past.

“We knew that charter schools don’t really have the resources to necessarily do this as often as they’d like,” Eban said.

Wright said she hopes the kids will be able to interact with college students with similar backgrounds.

“When that opportunity’s not there,” Wright said, “It’s really hard to then find it’s something to reach for.”

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