In an effort to better understand the challenges facing some minority students at University of Oregon, the Emerald interviewed students of color and faculty who have devoted their careers to addressing diversity and inclusion. Some students have used their experiences to reflect on their own biases and have taken steps to change their own behavior. Some students on campus have challenged their instructors on issues around race. This is the fifth part of a series coming out this week examining the role of discrimination at UO.

Vickie Gimm, president of University of Oregon’s Multi-ethnic Student Alliance, says the only way to make progress around the topic of racial discrimination at UO is to actively be anti-racist.

“We live in a society that was built off of genocide of indigenous people, enslavement of Black bodies, exploitation of groups all around,” Gimm said. “Racism is ingrained in our society.”

At the University of Oregon, white professors comprise 83 percent of tenure-related faculty, with the next largest group being Asian professors, who comprise 9 percent. Black faculty comprise 1 percent.

President of UO’s Multi-Ethnic Student Alliance Vickie Gimm (Aaron Nelson/Emerald)

UO President Michael Schill said that creating a more inclusive campus for minority students, who comprise 25.3 percent of the student body, is one of his top priorities.

“We have work to do in our society, and there is no reason to believe that work doesn’t also have to be done in educational institutions,” he said during an informal meeting with the Emerald in December 2016. “And, indeed, because educational institutions are the vanguard of change in our society, you would expect that this is where a lot of the activity takes place.”

UO administrators and students alike are working to address systemic discrimination in a variety of ways.

Ethnic studies major Aleiya Evison attributes the majority white demographics to the fact that UO is a historically white university in a historically white state. Oregon state laws once called for Black people to be beaten every six months. She says this context of the university and state’s history is not being taught to enough students. Acknowledging that history is something Evison says could be a step toward changing the problems of systemic racism at UO.

Last year, the Black Student Task Force issued 12 demands to UO’s administration with one of them being to dename Deady Hall, whose namesake’s history had a racist past. The message students of color on campus receive by having this building’s name remain on campus is that the history of discrimination remains as well.

Another one of the task force’s demands was to have Ethnic Studies 101 become a graduation requirement for all students. As an ethnic studies major, Evison said that taking these classes is a great way to learn about diversity.

“Sitting in an ethnic studies classroom where so many different races and ethnicities are represented in one room is invaluable for my education,” she said. “It benefits students of color and white students to be in an educational space where they are getting different perspectives and the norm is being challenged.”

Ethnic studies professor Daniel Hosang said a majority of UO students will go through their college careers without being taught by Black faculty. When students only ever learn from people who identify as white, he said, the experience may be training their subconscious to believe they have nothing valuable to learn from a person of color.

UO ethnic studies professor Daniel Hosang (Christopher Trotchie/Emerald)

When Hosang had to leave class for a day, he had one of the graduate teaching faculty give the day’s lecture.

Hosang returned to find that students had talked over her, ignored her and didn’t listen. Another GTF corroborated that it didn’t seem like the class was unfocused because it was a substitute, rather it seemed like they were openly defying her.

She felt that because she is a woman of color, the students thought they could disregard her authority.

Hosang said it’s difficult to prove discriminatory intent, but that the hurtful experience for the GTF and the general acceptance of the students’ actions is a reality on campus.

Hosang said that “because we live in a very racialized, segregated and sometimes patriarchal world, we have to think about big picture forces.” Those forces being the policies and structures that historically segregated the U.S. such as Jim Crow laws.

The effects of bigoted philosophies in U.S. history remain today, but UO faculty such as law professor Erik Girvan work to create new norms.

“We as a society have decided that certain characteristics ought not to be included in certain decisions,” Girvan said. “Your race should not affect whether you get a job or how you are graded on an exam.”

Girvan facilitates implicit bias trainings for faculty hiring groups at UO to help prevent them from having bias influence the outcome of their decisions.

In his own classes, he uses randomized numbers on students’ exams so that graders can’t be influenced by the gender or race they may associate with a person’s name.

Despite Grivan’s efforts, administrators don’t think a large enough impact has made it to campus yet.

Abe Schafermeyer, director of international student and scholar services, said that, “There are issues here. And we know it and we can see it. And we see it play out in different ways.”

He referred to examples when a student thought they received a “C” because the professor doesn’t like people who can’t speak English well.

“I think there’s a general consensus that this campus needs to have more dialogue surrounding inclusion and diversity,” Schafermeyer said.

UO law professor Erin Girvan (Christopher Trotchie/Emerald)

Since president Schill introduced a plan to the deans of schools at UO to progress inclusivity and diversity on campus, Schafermeyer and his department have come up with concrete ideas to move forward.

One of Schafermeyer’s plans is to create an international student liaison position at UO. This will be a paid position to work with international students and then tell administration what the student experience is actually like. He hopes to gain a better understanding of how comfortable students feel and what obstacles they face.

“As leaders, as front line staff and faculty that interact with students every day, we need to think deeply about what our roles and responsibilities are individually and what we’re doing to impact this conversation,” Schafermeyer said.

Schafermeyer is one of nine deans at UO tasked to help create a more inclusive campus. Schafermeyer hopes that their plans can bring drastic change to the student and faculty experience at UO, but regardless of their outcome, he believes one thing to be true:

“The status quo isn’t an option.”

Anna Lieberman contributed reporting to this article.

The post Identifying discrimination part V: Moving forward appeared first on Emerald Media.

In an effort to better understand the challenges facing some minority students at University of Oregon, the Emerald interviewed students of color and faculty who have devoted their careers to addressing diversity and inclusion. Some students have used their experiences to reflect on their own biases and have taken steps to change their own behavior. Some students on campus have challenged their instructors on issues around race. This is the fourth part of a series coming out this week examining the role of discrimination at UO.

Death by 1,000 cuts.

That’s what some refer to as the experience of feeling insecure, unprotected, offended or unwelcomed in a community that seems to resent the culture they represent.

“You wake up, you go to class, the person next to you asks if you’re at UO because you’re an athlete, then the next class you walk in, you’re in a room of 150 white people,” University of Oregon student Aleiya Evison said. “When they talk about slavery or police brutality, everyone stares at you and you might be asked to represent all black people — or all asian people — and then you go home and watch the news, and another person of color was killed. That is an average day for a student of color — on top of their responsibilities of being a student.”

Evison’s experience is something students who come from a background of privilege may not understand. Privilege for students of the majority is not financial support or positions of authority, but a life unprovoked by the consistent misrepresentation, insensitive comments and discrimination many minority students can face.   

The day-to-day struggle for some minority students in communities where they are misunderstood or disregarded is oftentimes unnoticed.

President of UO’s Multi-ethnic Student Alliance Vickie Gimm says, “What students need to do on campus is believe everybody’s individual experiences. A lot of times, we dismiss it because we don’t believe it’s true and that contributes to a lot more marginalization.”

UO student Aleiya Evison (Aaron Nelson/Emerald)

Minority students like Evison and Gimm who are inspired to pursue higher educations, feel restrained by the lack of diversity and cultural understanding on campus, she said, but some students believe this can be changed.

Evison said that, “One way to be an activist is to build community, and that’s something I’ve started to do here. [I] surround myself with other women of color and approach activism from a place of strength by taking up more space on this campus and engaging in issues of race and identity.”

When Evison talks about women of color, she doesn’t only talk about Black students like herself, but of all minority students who are underrepresented.

“I have met so many brilliant students of color on this campus that are working tirelessly to make our school a more inclusive environment,” Evison said.

One place on campus where people work to create community is the Holden Center, on the ground floor of the Erb Memorial Union. Part of the center’s mission is to promote positive change in the UO community.

Chris Esparza, the associate director of the Holden Center, said the path to alleviating the pains of discrimination starts with individuals.

“The solution is as simple, yet as complex as changing the way we form relationships,” he said.

In his own experience, Esparza has struggled with talking to his dad about racial sensitivity, although he decided the conflict is worth the effort.

His dad sent him an email years ago containing jokes about negative stereotypes of Chinese-Americans. Esparza felt that jokes like this were inconsiderate, but he wanted to make sure his dad knew too.

In a moment of courage, he sent an email detailing why those jokes were insensitive and why he felt they were unacceptable to tell.

Esparza said telling a friend or family member that the way they’re acting is intolerant is very challenging but can be necessary to push people to care for each other, not marginalize.

Marginalization is part of what Vickie Gimm refers to as “othering.” As a first generation Asian-American, Gimm notices when students assume she is an international student or assume she doesn’t speak English because of the way she looks. She recalled others speaking random Chinese words to her assuming she is fluent.

When Gimm experiences these microaggressions, she said they usually occur unintentionally, despite the offense she feels.

“It’s normalized, accepted behavior and then they go about performing the microaggression without realizing the impact,” Gimm said.

President of UO’s Multi-Ethnic Student Alliance Vickie Gimm (Aaron Nelson/Emerald)

The way someone asks a question or makes a joke can be offensive regardless of whether they meant it, and although it’s an accident, those affected by the comments have to find ways of coping.

UO senior Seela Sankey has begun to have a sense of humor with comments about her skin color.

As an international student from Kenya, she came to UO with a dark tan, but in the winter, she said her skin tone lightens and she tans orange. As she recalled from her freshman year, this can lead to uncomfortable conversations.

Once a student ran up to her in the rain and asked her which tanning salon she went to.

“I didn’t want to be rude and I was like ‘I don’t remember the shop, but give me your number. I’ll text you the name of the shop’ because I didn’t know how to react to it,” Sankey said.

Rather than ask if that was her natural skin tone, the student assumed she must go to to a tanning salon. Sankey dealt with the comment with a sense of humor, but she also recommends students think before they assume.

“Let’s say I’m running to class. If you want to talk to me, be like ‘I know you’re in a hurry, but I was really attracted to your skin tone.’ And then I would explain it to you.”

Taking the time to ask someone about their culture and understand their background is what some people at UO call cultural humility.

Abigail Leeder, the director of Experiential Education and Prevention Initiatives, defines cultural humility as being willing to admit your ignorance about someone’s culture and being open minded about their values.

She said that discrimination can be diminished by listening to each other and asking questions. As Leeder puts it, “[by] being curious about other people and being more open minded to hearing different people’s perspectives, a level of connection or empathy begins and then people want to be supportive.”

Many of these students feel that it only takes small measures to ease a feeling of discrimination on campus, but Leeder said we especially need to focus on the desire to learn more about each other.

“I think we’re losing that as a culture,” Leeder said. “And I think that is pretty much the only way to move forward: to listen.”

Anna Lieberman contributed reporting to this article.

The post Identifying discrimination part IV: Privilege & Support appeared first on Emerald Media.

In an effort to better understand the challenges facing some minority students at University of Oregon, the Emerald interviewed students of color and faculty who have devoted their careers to addressing diversity and inclusion. Some students have used their experiences to reflect on their own biases and have taken steps to change their own behavior. Some students on campus have challenged their instructors on issues around race. This is the first part of a series coming out this week examining the role of discrimination at UO.

When Awab Al-Rawe first came to the University of Oregon, the Iraq native spoke Spanish in hopes that people wouldn’t recognize his Middle Eastern heritage.

He didn’t want to associate with other Arab students either. After 9/11 and U.S. wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, it was not easy being an Arab in this country. Al-Rawe wanted to get an education in political science and law to return to Iraq and help rebuild his country, but stereotypes suggested he was a potential terrorist, making him uneasy with his own identity.

Al-Rawe said that when he arrived, he felt weakened by his identity.

He eventually overcame his urge to disassociate with his Iraqi heritage. He made friends with other Arab and Muslim students on campus and found many who had felt the same way. He went on to become the president of the UO Arab Student Union.

Awab Al-Rawe (Aaron Nelson/Emerald)

Now, seven years after he arrived in Eugene, his story highlights the challenges many minority students face when they come to UO, where nearly 60 percent of the student population is white, compared to a 5.5 percent Asian population, 2 percent Black population and .6 percent Native American population.

Having a diverse community on a college campus supports students like Al-Rawe who depend on encouragement from his peers to create a healthy learning environment. Forms of discrimination such as stereotyping, exclusion, or threatening someone’s identity occur at UO, which can create additional stress for those already bearing the responsibilities of a college student.

“There is always individual discrimination when you meet people with different ideologies that do not want to include you in the dialogue or the sphere they are in,” Al-Rawe said. But he says that support from other students and administration has the potential to lead to change.

Many minority students say that although they expected UO to be a liberal and diverse school with an inclusive environment, they arrived to something different. Few of the professors look like them and some of their classmates tend to stereotype them or make them feel uncomfortable when racially charged topics like slavery or segregation come up.

UO student and co-director of the Black Student Union Ashley Campbell said, “the discrimination I have faced is when I am in a history class and they talk about African-American history, and the whole class expects [me] to answer.”

The challenges that students of color face on campus seem to be increasing over the past few years.

During the 2013-2014 school year, 51 accounts of bias or discrimination were reported to the Bias Education and Response Team at UO, and in the following year, the number of reports rose to 85, but these reports are not the only recent accounts of intolerance.

At a Halloween party in 2016, UO law professor Nancy Shurtz wore blackface as part of her costume. Shurtz said she did not mean for her costume to be offensive. Additionally, after the 2016 presidential election, three high school students came onto campus also wearing blackface.

“How do you expect students to feel comfortable coming to class when that’s going on?” Campbell asked.

Although UO President Michael Schill was quick to criticize Shurtz’s behavior, saying it “is patently offensive and reinforces historically racist stereotypes,” black students on campus say the president has been slow to answer their 2016 request to rename Deady Hall, (as well as six of the other demands) which is named after a proponent of racial exclusion laws.

That’s not to say the UO administration hasn’t responded to the challenges faced by UO’s minority students. Chris Esparza, the associate director of the Holden Center, works to build community and cultivate leadership on campus. He said situations like that faced by Al-Rawe are not uncommon.

“Some students, in order to walk onto this campus, they either have to take a significant part of themselves and leave it behind and show up as someone not quite effectively them, or bring all of it and have to put up a sense of armor to protect it from being attacked,” Esparza said.

Administrators and faculty like Esparza have made efforts to improve the experience of minority students on campus. The Division of Equity and Inclusion states that diversity, equity and inclusion are integral parts in the university’s priorities as an academic institution.

President Schill is addressing these priorities by asking the deans of each school at UO to devise plans to promote diversity and inclusion on campus.

The guideline for these plans details the kind of success Schill hopes to find in each department such as bringing more diverse scholars to speak on campus and increasing the amount of diversity-related scholarships awarded.

Juan-Carlos Molleda, the dean of UO’s School of Journalism and Communication, said that his plans for the journalism school are only in the beginning stages, but a deadline is set for March when the heads of schools will meet to compare strategies and see how they can work together.

Particularly in the journalism school, Molleda said that diversity is essential, not only to create a welcoming environment for students and faculty, but also to foster sensitivity to diverse perspectives that students will take with them after they graduate.

Ashley Campbell (far left) and other members of the Black Student Union raise their fists in solidarity after the presidential election. (Aaron Nelson/Emerald)

While administration works to improve the campus climate, students can still be active in supporting their peers as well.

Ashley Campbell, who was offended by the incidents of blackface on campus, had hope regarding how Black students can move past these acts of bigotry.

“Our goal is to not let these things get us down, even though they hurt sometimes,” she said. “Take your time to mourn, but then come back and remember that your goal is to graduate within four years and your goal is on academics and security and safety.”

Awab Al-Rawe, who began his time at UO denying his identity, now uses his position as president of the Arab Student Union to bring the campus together. He has arranged meetings between the ASU and Jewish student groups and veterans on campus.

Al-Rawe said that the task of creating a more inclusive campus lies with both students and administrators. But from someone who has encountered discrimination, he believes that campus organizations can be an important component of improving inclusion at UO.

“I urge students to be active within their communities. And their communities hopefully can have the leadership to bridge the gaps,” Al-Rawe said. “That’s the culture that we need to broadcast.”

Anna Lieberman contributed reporting to this article.

The post Identifying discrimination part I: the student perspective appeared first on Emerald Media.

Q: Whenever I like someone, when I find out they like me back, I end up not liking them as much. How do I keep up the romance? -Gertrude Romance Lincoln IV

Dear Gertrude,

We want to be with people who are too good for us. We dream of the perfect, unattainable partner that only exists in fantasies. When they don’t meet those expectations, you might begin to dream of someone even better, more perfect than the person you thought made sparks fly. You’ll begin to imagine what the future could look like together, and when it’s not as exciting as you previously thought, the lackluster feeling sets in.

Getting to know someone intimately and being vulnerable fuels the mystery because you both divulge so much about yourselves, but not the real secret of whether you want to take the next step together.

When the two of you realize this longing for each other is mutual, you begin to really assess if a  relationship is possible.

Figure out what you can really enjoy together, what plans you can make and achieve together and what the two of you can expect from the relationship. For example, if you are excited about having a TV show you watch together in the evenings or plan on making dinner together on Wednesday nights, you’ll begin to see what the relationship can realistically be.

One classic relationship test is to travel together. It can be a great way to see how your crush interacts with other people, how they act under stress, what they like to do in their free time and how they set up their priorities. In reality, you can do all this without actually going anywhere, but these factors can be really crucial to deciding whether this is a match made in heaven.

Think about what kind of person would fit your lifestyle, and if your crush fits the mold, start those date night plans to keep the romance alive. It might feel weird to just jump into going on miniature golf dates or walks through the park, but having fun together can shed light on how meaningful a relationship can be. My favorite thing to do early in a relationship is to wake up early and go out to breakfast together. You get to see how cranky the two of you are when you’re sleepy and how optimistic they are for the rest of the day. Plus, it’s a chance to see who grabs the check.

This can also be different for different people. If you are someone who appreciates their own personal time and space, quickly having someone occupy that place can be difficult. The intrusion into your life’s normalcy can be very exciting, but for some it can be off-putting.

The commitment of a significant other can also be a hard addition to a structured lifestyle. If you like someone a lot but don’t know how they’re going to fit into your life, the transition to care for each other can be scary.

The excitement of possibility is startling. You’ll feel so warm and maybe nervous about the direction you’re headed. When that feeling starts to fade, take it upon yourself to see what could happen if it didn’t. The optimism that you had when your future was a mystery now just takes some planning and attention.

I hope you’re happy and I hope you share your life with someone you deserve,

Braedon

Day one of the Democratic National Convention, held on Monday, July 25, would have been informative had speeches not been repeatedly overshadowed by shouts and chants from Bernie Sanders’ supporters. Thus, day one was informative in one way: Embers of “The Bern” still smolder in the hearts of many.

The diehard “Bernie or Bust” supporters were the source of the jeering. Bernie Sanders repeatedly stated throughout his campaign that this is a movement to believe in, and his supporters held their ground when he and many others faltered.

Sanders and the other Democrats who want to see a liberal in the White House disagree with the Busters. Although these supporters are fueled by righteous indignation, high standards don’t win elections alone.

As Bernie spoke at the convention, his motif of what “this election is about” echoed some of the greatest points from his platform. The curveball that the Bernie or Busters despised was his new addition: “Hillary will make an outstanding president and I am proud to stand with her tonight.”

But at every mention of Hillary’s presumptive nomination, boos echoed throughout the arena in Philadelphia. It was apparent that the Democratic Party’s goal of the convention was to take Bernie with his supporters and ally them with Hillary. At least on day one, those supporters needed more convincing.

This degree of division certainly puts fear in the hearts of Democrats who know strength comes from unity within the party.

The DNC is held every four years to nominate a presidential candidate and unite for the final leg of one of the most important competitions in the world. Each party has its respective convention because solidarity is crucial for winning the race, and as a tall bearded man who once understood the importance of unity said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

When Democrat, comedian and proud Bernie supporter Sarah Silverman took the stage to address the Bernie or Busters and said that they were being “ridiculous,” she had a point. In an interview with the New York Times after her speech, she noted that the best way to support Bernie’s dream is to give him a better ally in the Oval Office. Abstaining from voting or even voting for Trump to oppose Hillary will only set Bernie farther away from a position where he can effect change.

During roll call on day two of the DNC, Bernie took the stage, this time to give all of Vermont’s delegate votes to Clinton. He did not take those votes and join an independent third party but united with the Democratic establishment to give his support to Hillary. The liberal mastermind behind the campaign that mobilized millions of Americans made this choice.

He made this decision to endorse the Clinton campaign only after working to amend her platform. Bernie stated that after working together, they have created “the most progressive platform in the history of the Democratic Party” by adding reforms such as a plan to install half a billion solar panels in the next four years, promotion of vote-by-mail policies and the addition of banking services to post offices. His impact is not inscrutable; in fact, he has improved Hillary’s campaign, made way for future changes in the electoral system and activated millions of young Americans who never would have participated in such a way.

To the Busters who believe in the movement and not the figurehead, the staunch supporters of free education, public health care and a higher minimum wage, your hero announced that “Hillary Clinton must become the next President of the United States.”

Please don’t forget what is at stake.

This week in Eugene:

Monday, July 25 — Joshua Powell and the Great Train Robbery at Hi-Fi Music Hall (44 E. 7th Ave.) at 9 p.m. Tickets are $5 at the door

When Joshua Powell started playing music in Anderson, Indiana, his style was a mix of high school heavy metal and Jimmy Buffett flavor. But Powell’s band is constantly changing, and the musician and poet will bring his more current brand of happy folk tunes to Eugene with his four-man band.

Tuesday, July 26 — Cannabis Science Pub! at Whirled Pies Pizza (199 West 8th Ave.) from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. — Free.

Interested in the cannabis industry now that it’s legal? The topic of this monthly gathering is industrial hemp growing and management. This special event offers trivia, educational presentations from a panel of experts and an opportunity to grab a beer and network with other cannabis connoisseurs. All ages are welcome regardless of the 21-and-up topic.

Wednesday, July 27 — Funk Jam at Hi-Fi Music Hall (44 E. 7th Ave.) at 9 p.m. — Free. 21+

It’s easy to get your groove on this Wednesday night at the Funk Jam hosted at Hi-Fi Music Hall. Dressing for the occasion is recommended, so bring your funkiest outfit and your dancing shoes.

Thursday, July 28 — Adult Painting Session with Alan M. Clark at the Emerald Art Center (500 Main St.) from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. — $15

The Emerald Art Center’s weekly gathering provides aspiring artists with  experience, advice and community. On Thursday, artist Alan Clark will mentor artists with their acrylic work, drawing or any other kind of illustration work. You can bring art that you are currently working on or come ready to start a new piece.

Friday, July 29 — ‘Weird Al’ Yancovic at the Cuthbert Amphitheater (2300 Leo Hariss Pkwy.) gates open at 5:30 p.m., show starts at 7 p.m. — Tickets start at $33 for general admission

From his humble start with the accordion at age seven, musical comedy legend Weird Al Yankovic now comes to Eugene’s Cuthbert Amphitheatre to remind us how “white and nerdy” he really is. The Emerald spoke to Yankovic about his new, record breaking album Mandatory Fun and his North American tour of the same name (see page two).

Saturday, July 30 — Eugene Saturday Market on the corner of 8th Avenue and Oak Street — 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. — Free

This open air marketplace offers fresh produce, handcrafted wares and an international food court boasting the world’s most delicious flavors immigrated to Eugene. Go for breakfast, lunch, gifts or simply to pass the time in the summer sun. The market also invites local artists to perform live, and this Saturday will host six local musical acts.

Monday, July 25 — UOPD Chief Candidate visits Eugene at the Knight Library Browsing Room (1501 Kincaid St.) — 11 a.m. to 4:25 p.m. — Free

The third and final police chief candidate for the UOPD is visiting campus on Monday, July 25. Brenda Trobaugh, current Deputy Chief of Police at California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo will be holding a public forum for students from 11 to 11:50 a.m. to kick off the day. She will then give a public presentation and hold a Q&A session from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. These presentations will be held in the Knight Library browsing room.

What’s the secret to dirty talk? I keep repeating myself and it might be getting repetitive and not-so-flirty.

–Bad Dirty Talk

Dear Bad Dirty Talk,

When you’re talking dirty to someone, it’ll be an intimate, probably exclusive conversation. This is why dirty talk is as taboo as we make it out to be.

The thoughts that you might think but cast aside and reserve for yourself throughout the day are the main ingredient in dirty talk.

For example, while talking to your partner during lunch, you probably wouldn’t say that their lips biting into a sandwich turn you on and you need them right then and there, but in an intimate setting, you can say something similar and turn your partner on by letting them know how you feel.

With that in mind, the key to dirty talk seems to be blunt honesty. Very blunt honesty.

If you have said everything you think about your partner — things like how badly you love and need their body, how soft they are, how strong they are, etc. — then mix it up. For example, tell them what they do to you that you really, really like. Say it as you’re enjoying it or tell them you want it!

The next step is to say it in your own style. You may imagine that “confidence is key,” but if you typically don’t exude charisma, it may throw your partner off if you immediately transition into a dominant-style character. If you’re usually a quirky goofball, then be the goof you are and also be honest about why your partner drives you wild.

So how do you tell them? In their ear nice and low? Through a moan? Kind of squeaky-like? While you’re growling? The mood between you and your partner will probably dictate how you say it, but your tone is most likely not going to affect how your seductive message comes across. So tell them quietly if you are being quiet and loudly if you are loud.

But when do you dirty talk and how much should you say? Whenever and however much you want. The trick to being honest is saying what’s on your mind when you think it. If something piques your interest or you have a flash of inspiration about how great your partner is, go ahead and share it.

So remember, be honest and be yourself. Don’t overthink the talking, but let it out when you have something to say because your partner probably has some words for you too.

You’ll be talking so dirty you’ll have to watch out for earthworms,

Braedon

Have a question about sex and relationships for Braedon? Click here to anonymously send a question.

My boyfriend keeps dropping hints that he wants to move in together after we graduate, with not-so-subtle things like “I wish you didn’t have roommates and it was just you and me,” or saying that the two of us should move to Missouri (where his family lives). We’ve been together for years, but I’m personally not at all ready, nor mentally prepared to be committed in a marriage or domestic partnership or whatever that means. I love him to death and don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also don’t want him to think we’re going to move in together after we graduate… How am I supposed to relay this to him?

Dear Not Ready,

Big decisions take big planning and I’m happy to hear that you care about yourself as well as your partner’s emotions in this big change. I think the best way to answer your question is by examining why you feel you aren’t ready. I hope I can help you answer it by in turn guiding you through the following questions.

First, let’s say you’re in love; you’re madly in love. What does it mean to you, to not be ready to move in? Whether someone is not ready to move in with someone, not ready to have sex, get married or have kids, there is a reason why, but it may be difficult to understand for yourself.

Even identifying that you’re in love can be hard sometimes. Try thinking about why you’re not ready and this will definitely help you understand how to share your emotions.

This leads me to my next question. Of course this is a big decision with a lot of implications, but what is there to lose? Do you have a job and don’t want to uproot? Do you want to stay near your home, the Pacific Northwest or anything else that won’t be available in a new location? If there is something, that may be a great basis for staying, but if not, this may be a stepping stone to your adventurous life! Remember, life is an adventure.

And what about the two of you? Whether you move in together or not, are you staying together after college? Love is a big ol’ deal and maybe even the most important aspect of life. Can you imagine a long distance relationship, or is being in close proximity a necessity for the two of you?

If you want to try long distance and hold on with all the love you have, then that is a beautiful idea to share with your partner, but as you may have heard, long distance relationships are tricky. Consider the trajectory of your relationship. Asking these questions may be a healthy bonding experience before you decide what to do.

Finally, what is the perfect scenario, and what makes it perfect for you? Imagining an ideal world can usually give you insight into the things you want but can’t quite articulate. For example, if you simply can’t see yourself without a dog in the future, you will realize that it’s a priority. The same can be said for locations, lifestyles, jobs, how you spend your money, where your family is and many other options. Just consider the super perfect world you will live in, and some of the characteristics of that life can help you identify why one situation is better than another. What will lead you to the life you’re looking for, and how will this decision impact your life?

One final suggestion is to ask your partner some of these questions and see how he feels. Perhaps you may know his answer because you’ve been together for so long, but asking them together may spark some new ideas for the future and help address the change.

I hope you move in the right direction,

Braedon

“I’m losing faith in the boys on campus. I have yet to find a guy who is interested in being more than a friend without just ‘hooking up,’ and I’m not quite sure what to do anymore. I’ve had crushes and interests but they’ve all fallen flat because I’m not into having casual sex with them.” – Is there any hope?

Dear Is there any hope?,

Yes, there is hope. No, you’re not alone. But yes, it does seem like you are in the minority.

At the University of Oregon and on campuses across the nation, a hookup culture prevails due to expectations set by movies and TV about what college will be like for us young, horny adults.

This is an exciting time full of new freedoms, interesting peers and longing desires, but sometimes when you are in a loving mood, the other is only lusting.

When it comes to looking for someone interested in more than just sex, you have options, but these may not be the perfect answers you are looking for.

If you are someone who uses Tinder to find dates, know that it was made for exactly what you are not looking for: just hooking up. However, there are those special individuals who proudly write on their profile, “Looking for more than sex.” Be blunt and be bold! You can use this app for meeting friends, making weird pick-up line jokes with strangers or finding people with similar interests who happen to find you to be a pleasant surprise as well. That being said, Tinder is probably not your best bet.

For those crazy kooks who like to meet people face-to-face, parties are tricky. On one hand, there are a lot of peers who seem interesting, are all dressed up and usually in good spirits because they came out to have a good time; however, the culture around college parties, unfortunately for some, tends to lean toward getting incredibly drunk and being incredibly aroused.

You can meet wonderful people at parties and have lovely conversations outside where you’re not getting hot and heavy in a basement, but you have to advertise that by asking someone if they want to talk, just dance or do something fun the next morning. Once again, tell it like it is: be charming and interesting and you have better odds at finding more than ‘just sex.’

The amount of time you invest in the start of your relationship is also crucial for the outcome. If you want to meet someone on Monday and be romantically attached by the weekend, the emotional development of the relationship will not be very strong. If you meet someone in class, around campus or anywhere else and you think you might “like like” them, take time to get to know them fairly well and allow them to get to know you. Instead of just being interested in each other’s bodies, this will help get that extra something that you’re looking for in a relationship.

Finally, if you’re looking for someone that enjoys the same lifestyle or hobby as you, then look around when you’re doing that. When you’re doing what you love, you might find another kind of love right next to you. If you want to date a runner, join a running club; for readers, try a book club; gamers, look for a video game club; journalists, the Emerald is hiring!

Please don’t lose hope. There are some amazing, thoughtful, lovable people around this campus. You just have to be patient and find the one that’s right for you.

I hope you have fun in the sun and find your one,

Braedon

Why is your water glass trembling? It can’t possibly be caused by earth-rattling T-rex footsteps like in the 1993 classic film Jurassic Park, right? Guess again.

For the past five years, the Graduate Evolutionary Biology and Ecology Students (GrEBES) at the University of Oregon have hosted a series of seminars related to its field. This year the topic is “De-extinction: There and Back Again.”

The first seminar will be held on Wednesday, April 6 at 7 p.m. in 150 Columbia Hall and will feature Dr. Jack Horner, the paleontologist who inspired the character Dr. Alan Grant in Jurassic Park. He will speak about the possibility of creating dinosaurs and unicorns in real life. Widely known for his TED Talk viewed by millions, Dr. Horner’s speech will bring your childhood fantasies back to life, but this time validated by empirical data and research.

These free admission seminars will focus on the possibility of de-extinction, a phenomenon brought to the public eye through Jurassic Park, but based off of actual research done in part by Dr. Horner, who is also a professor of paleontology at Montana State University. Horner believes that he can create a “chickenosaurous” which uses the ancestral dinosaur DNA that still lingers in modern day chickens.

The spring seminar series is expected to bring in a lot of attention and excitement, in part because of public fascination with dinosaurs, but also because GrEBES is bringing three preeminent scholars and scientists to speak about the plausibility and ethicality of bringing dinosaurs out of extinction.

The second event of this three part adventure will be held on Wednesday, April 27 at 7 p.m. in 182 Lillis Hall and will be hosted by Dr. Hank Greely, the director of Law and the biosciences at Stanford University. He will be discussing the many ethical implications of de-extinction: how to treat chicken ancestors is one thing, but if modern science could bring back our own hominid ancestors, scientific testing and research meets a very sticky, very important ethical wall that Dr. Greely hopes to face along with several other topics relating to de-extinction.

Then on Wednesday May 4, Dr. Hendrik Poinar will be in 182 Lillis Hall at 7 p.m. discussing the possibility of bringing back the wooly mammoth. Professor of physical anthropology at McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, Poinar is an expert in the wooly mammoth genome and believes that mammoths were still roaming the earth around the time the pyramids of Egypt were being built.

These three brilliant scholars will ease the information into our modern minds while inspiring us with mesmerizing ideas of the prehistoric landscape. Be sure to attend any or all of this year’s spring seminar series as they will indubitably blow your mind out of this world, perhaps even to a land before time.

Check out Dr. Horner’s TED Talk about creating a dinosaur out of chicken DNA below: