Professor describing a graph in lecture: “And this is a negative relationship.”

[He lowers his voice]

“Just like most of the relationships in our lives.”

—Unknown

“I should switch to using meth to keep me awake.”

—Northrop Mall

“You should sleep in Anderson.”

“Anderson? No! Walter!”

“Wilson?”

—Ferguson Hall

Professor: “Amusingly, the animal dies, and the nitrogen goes into the soil.”

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Dr. Date,

After an 8-month long-distance relationship, the girl (who I truly loved) broke it to me hard and left me in the dark, 400 miles away. That same afternoon, I met a super cute girl on campus and have started dating her more frequently over the past month and a half.

I know, I know, the women reading this right now are all up-in-arms against the “typical chauvinist male” who embodies Jay-Z’s “love ’em, leave ’em” attitude right after a relationship.

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By: Rolf Westgard – Lecturer on energy topics, University of Minnesota Lifelong Learning program

Sources in a Nov. 14 Minnesota Daily article, “Some students, alumni and groups shun nuclear,” suggested intermittent wind and solar could replace nuclear power. Even the Minnesota Legislature has maintained the state’s ban on consideration of new nuclear plants. But nuclear energy advocates point to the clean-air, around-the-clock operation of nuclear plants, as opposed to the harmful emissions from coal-fueled facilities.

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Columbia University came under fire recently for not disclosing how many of its students are charged with sex crimes on campus.

More than 650 Columbia students signed a petition started by the Columbia Democrats student group requesting greater transparency on sexual assault and harassment data and disciplinary policies, the Huffington Post reported Nov. 1.

Despite increasing pressure on Columbia’s administration to disclose the requested information, the university has not complied, citing federal privacy laws.

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By: Hailey Colwell

After years of miscommunication born from land ownership issues, a University of Minnesota research center and neighboring Native American tribe are working to find common ground.

The University’s Cloquet Forestry Center is located on the Fond du Lac Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Reservation, and the two parties are now working to resolve communication issues and share the land.

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By: Alexi Gusso

Though votes were still being counted Wednesday night, Minneapolis residents can expect City Councilwoman Betsy Hodges to lead City Hall come January, succeeding three-term Mayor R.T. Rybak.

Hodges addressed a crowd of about 250 supporters at 612 Brew in northeast Minneapolis Wednesday night. She was introduced as “the next mayor of Minneapolis.”

“On Jan. 2 … it will be my job to live my gratitude by doing what I said I would do to work with you, to work with the community to build and grow Minneapolis,” she said in a speech.

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By: Jessica Lee

After more than a decade at City Hall, Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak is going back to school.

Rybak will begin teaching courses next semester at the University of Minnesota’s Humphrey School and the College of Design, the University announced Wednesday.

The outgoing mayor will teach “Mayor 101” this spring and lead an urban case studies class in CDES next fall, said Humphrey School Dean Eric Schwartz.

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By: Melissa Berman

On Halloween, one University of Minnesota fraternity house will be haunted.

With gravestones, fog and spider webs, Chi Psi’s University Avenue house will turn into the Haunted Lodge as part of the fraternity’s second annual philanthropy event.

Fraternity members will lead horror-seeking students through Chi Psi’s darkened house, ending in the dining room, where there will be refreshments and socializing.

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By: Alex Bitter

Two startup companies that rely on University of Minnesota research projects are being recognized for their innovative use of federal funding.

The Science Coalition, a national nonprofit that advocates for federal investment in research universities, recognized Heat Mining Company LLC and Steady State Imaging as leading examples of using federal funding to conduct research that led to

economic growth.

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By: Nicolas Hallett

As the City of Minneapolis and the Dinkytown community draft the district’s small area plan, student voices have been hard to come by.

But a new outreach initiative found a way to find what students care most about when it comes to Dinkytown. The feedback comes at a key time with the plan’s third and final community outreach meeting taking place on Nov. 18 at Varsity Theater.

In surveys by the Creative CityMaking partnership, respondents ranked restaurants, biking and walking accessibility, and unique character as the area’s most important qualities.

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