Conan O’Brien told the crowd he hoped attendees would walk away thinking, “wow, that was sort of worth it.”

Judging by the boisterous reactions of the crowd at Michigan State U’s Breslin Center on May 21, O’Brien’s “Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour” did not disappoint. For two hours, O’Brien entertained the crowd with a mix of stand-up, musical performances, familiar props and features of his former shows and some special guests.

After opener Reggie Watts and the Legally Prohibited Band (featuring familiar faces such as Richie “LaBamba” Rosenberg, whose face O’Brien later licked during the show), O’Brien took the stage wearing a MSU jersey underneath his sport coat. 

He explained his excitement for being in Michigan, with a warm response from the Spartans. The crowd ate up O’Brien’s name-checking of local restaurants and businesses (he claimed that his new job will be at the East Lansing “Meijers”), as well as direct digs at school rivals.

According to O’Brien, he rejected a bid by U. Michigan to play on their campus.

“I don’t like that school,” he told the crowd. “Any school that needs a football stadium that big must have a small penis.” 

He joked MSU had a major drinking problem, since the students in attendance at the show clearly did not realize school ended weeks ago.

“Your mascot should be a hung-over Spartan vomiting into his helmet.”

O’Brien was not alone on stage that evening. Longtime sidekick Andy Richter joined in on the fun, as did Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in a pre-taped segment with local jokes dubbed into the tape. Deon Cole, a former writer for O’Brien, also took the stage for standup. 

Michigan resident Sarah Killen spent her 15 minutes of fame with O’Brien onstage after he chose her Twitter account as the only one he’d follow.

Killen pulled the “Walker, Texas Ranger” Lever, rechristened the “Chuck Norris, Rural Policeman Handle” due to O’Brien’s former employer, NBC, owning the intellectual rights over the original name.  For the same reason, “the Self-Pleasuring Panda” visited the crowd, instead of the notorious Masturbating Bear. 

Both bits brought familiar elements of O’Brien’s shows to the audience (including the famous “Walker” clip where Haley Joel Osment’s character bluntly states “Walker told [him] he had AIDS”), and reminded people why they paid to see the show live. 

As O’Brien said, it was the first time people ever paid to see him and in return, he attempted to make the show as personal as possible.

While O’Brien is best known for his comedy, another passion of his is music. Throughout much of the show, O’Brien had a guitar in his hand, singing original and parody songs (such as “My Own Show Again” to the tune of “On the Road Again”), which brought a unique spin to his comedy not often seen on television. 

In keeping with the musical theme, O’Brien’s guest that evening, Michigan native Kid Rock took the stage to explain, in song, why he would make a good president. 

“I’d put TV cameras in the Lincoln Bedroom, and the whole nation could watch Rock layin’ it down,” he sang.

O’Brien’s show combined the best of his comedy with his personal musical hobbies, his friends in show business and local flavor to create a show that kept the audience laughing and cheering all night. At the end of the show, O’Brien ran through the crowd of the Breslin Center, high-fiving and hugging fans in the audience, all the way up to the upper sections of the arena. 

He made the show as personal as possible, showing even though he may have fared well financially in the wake of the NBC controversy, he still cared about the people who made him popular. He will begin his new show on TBS Nov. 8, so it is unlikely that O’Brien will have the chance to tour again. For those lucky people who had the chance to attend the “Legally Prohibited Tour,” it will be a memorable and unique experience.

Judging by the massive audience applause throughout the show, it seemed fairly unanimous that O’Brien made the show more than “sort of worth it.” 

MSU’s representatives of “Team Coco” can sleep well knowing they were able to be a part of such a riotous experience that showed why O’Brien has been beloved for nearly 20 years.

The Stanford U. women’s tennis team defeated U. Florida 4-3 in the national championship match in Athens, Ga. to secure the Cardinal’s NCAA-leading 16th national title.

Florida won the doubles point, as the No. 2 and No. 3 teams for the Gators defeated the Cardinal teams 8-1 and 8-6.

Stanford started out the singles competition well, as five of the six Stanford  players won their first set, with only No. 1 Hilary Barte losing 6-4.

No. 4 Stacey Tan was the first to finish, completing a 6-2, 6-2 victory to tie the overall score at one. No. 2 Lindsay Burdette followed with her own straight-set victory, 6-3, 6-3. Florida tied the score at two on court No. 1 when Lauren Embree took down Barte 6-4, 6-3.

At No. 6, Veronica Li lost the first three games to her opponent Marrit Boonstra, but then came back for a 6-3, 7-5 win to get the Cardinal within a point of the national title.

No. 3 Mallory Burdette had a match point in the second set, but her return went into the net, and she eventually lost the set in a tiebreaker.

No. 5 Carolyn McVeigh came back from a 5-3 deficit in the first set to win 7-5. She came close to an even bigger comeback in the second set, as she lost the first four games before winning the next four. McVeigh lost the next two games, forcing a decisive third set.

With the score 3-2 in favor of Stanford, Mallory Burdette and McVeigh played in their respective third sets with the Cardinal needing only one victory to win a national title. Mallory Burdette jumped out to a 2-0 lead, but appeared to become flustered as she lost the next three games. She came back to go up another break, but then could not hold serve, tying the score at 4-4.

McVeigh was outmatched in the third set, losing 6-0, leaving the national title up to Mallory Burdette and Merrit Boonstra on court No. 3.

Mallory Burdette broke Boonstra at 5-5 to serve for the championship. On the third championship point, Boonstra’s attempt was blown wide by the wind, and Stanford claimed the national title.

Immediately after the winning point, Lindsay Burdette tackled her sister in celebration as the entire team piled on to celebrate.

U. Michigan Athletic Director Dave Brandon and head football coach Rich Rodriguez held a press conference Tuesday regarding the University’s self-imposed sanctions in response to an internal investigation resulting from numerous NCAA violations.

One thing Brandon made clear, despite being hired long after the accusations were first made about the team in August of 2009, was that he believed the blame lies squarely with him.

“The reality is that we had failures across the Athletic Department,” Brandon said. “I take full responsibility for what happened because I’m the director of this program.”

For the University, taking responsibility and admitting guilt in the matter was the most important issue to resolve as the violations and consequent sanctions were made public.

“I can tell you now, several months later, after completing our internal investigation, that I am even more convinced that the things that occurred, the violations, we own them, we’re not going to deny them,” Brandon said. “We’re not going to play the game of ‘Gee, someone else is doing it, so it makes it okay for us.’ We’re not going to play the game of ‘We don’t like the rules, so we shouldn’t have to follow it.’ We’re not going there. We have been found to violate certain rules with the NCAA and we’re standing up and taking responsibility for it.”

Despite the sanctions, Brandon, as well as Rodriguez, characterized today as “a day of relief,” saying he was glad everything was out in the open.

After the NCAA announced that it would conduct an investigation into the matter last October, the NCAA found the University guilty of five major violations and allowed the Athletic Department 90 days to respond. In more than 150 pages of documents released this morning, the University imposed its own set of sanctions in anticipation of inevitable NCAA sanctions to be named in August. The self-imposed sanctions include a reduction of about 130 hours of total practice time, a cut of two out of five quality control staffers and a suspension of the responsibilities of said staff members when it comes to practice, games and coaches meetings, as well as a two-year probation period. Quality control staffer Alex Herron, who was mentioned in the initial report and described by Brandon to have shown a “lack of integrity”, was fired as a result of the violations.

The probation, Brandon said, would put Michigan “under a microscope” in order to ensure complete compliance with NCAA regulations going forward.

“Probation is typically one of the outcomes of major violations,” Brandon said. “What probation primarily means is a significant amount of detailed reporting between our program and the NCAA.”

Despite the nature of the violations, namely breaching the NCAA-allotted amount of time for practice, Brandon assured that he believed none of the violations gave Michigan a competitive advantage.

“When you start talking about not counting stretching and warm-up as part of your allowable hours, it’s a violation,” Brandon said. “But I think it’s a significant leap of logic to conclude that somehow creates a competitive advantage.”

While the violations are considered major, the Athletic Department did not consider them major enough to sanction themselves with a suspension from postseason play or a loss of scholarships, based on past precedent and advice throughout the internal investigation. These scenarios, however, are punishments the NCAA may consider when it makes its decision come Aug. 13-14 when the University will take its case in front of the governing body.

“We don’t believe, nor do any of the advisers that we’ve retained who have a lot experience in this area, that those kinds of punishments would be consistent with the violations that we’ve received,” Brandon said.

While the program will be waiting the rest of the summer to hear from the NCAA, Rodriguez said from a football standpoint he isn’t worried about the sanctions becoming a distraction for his players this summer or during the season.

“I thought our players and staff did a good job of staying focused. I think our players will continue to do that,” Rodriguez said. “I really like the attitude of the team, they’ve been focused throughout this whole process. I don’t think this case will affect them at all.”

Since the original Detroit Free Press article that led to an NCAA investigation and an emotional press conference following the initial announcement of the investigation, Rodriguez has been clear that his main concern was that the allegations assumed that he had mistreated his players by forcing them to practice too much.

The investigation, Brandon assured, did not reveal any player welfare concerns or any issues regarding player abuse.

“The thing that bothered me the most when this whole thing initially started was some insinuations about student-athlete welfare,” Rodriguez said. “The thing is, all the years we’ve been together and all my years as head coach, the thing we take the most pride in is looking after the best interest of our student athletes … There are issues and mistakes were made, but there were no student athlete welfare issues. At least I can take some relief in that.”

Written into Rodriguez’s contract is a provision that gives the Athletic Department cause to terminate his contract if a major NCAA violation is committed. But Rodriguez can take relief in the fact that at least for now, the Athletic Department and Brandon continue to maintain that the coach’s job is secure.

“I have the authority to make a judgment as to whether the offenses that occurred are significant enough to trigger that clause in the contract,” Brandon said. “I said in February it didn’t, and there’s no new information today that would suggest that any of those violations have changed. So the answer is the same as it was in February.”

Throughout its 130-year history, these violations are the only major ones the Michigan football team has committed.

And while Brandon does consider it damaging to the school’s image, he believes Michigan’s brand and tradition continue to speak for themselves.

“I don’t think this is a black eye, this is a bruise,” Brandon said. “We fumbled the ball … But you have to look at the body of work at the University of Michigan. We’ve got a lot of coaches and a lot of student athletes who have worked very hard to build the brand that we’re all so proud to be associated with. I refuse to believe that because we’ve made a few mistakes here … that somehow detracts from who we are, what we’re about and the values that we’re going to continue to follow as we move forward.”

Watching my spouse die in the hospital was pretty difficult. At least, I imagine it was pretty difficult for his family, who were there with him. After dedicating ourselves to spending our lives together, in sickness or in health, I couldn’t stand by his side in the hospital because I had no legal right to do so. I didn’t even have the right to make medical treatment decisions for him when he was unable to.

Being legally barred by hospital staff from comforting my spouse in his last hours was painful. It was especially tough because he wasn’t a legal citizen–we were unable to expedite his path to citizenship through marriage, a privilege granted to other, opposite-sex couples. His citizenship doesn’t matter now though–even if he had become naturalized, I would be prevented by law from obtaining his Social Security pension or other government benefits.

That was the least of our concerns. Even years after the ceremony, after living together for so long, he wasn’t allowed to put our house in my name without paying more taxes than he could afford. We were never allowed to transfer property tax-free or file our taxes together no matter how much we insisted on the legitimacy of our partnership or our lifelong commitment to each other.

The provisions we were never granted wouldn’t have mattered so much if we didn’t both lose our jobs when our employers found out we were each other’s spouses, because we had no legal guarantee of job security from prejudice. We lost our community center membership and were asked to leave our church, and never had any legal protection from discrimination. If it weren’t for the constant vandalism and disparaging letters we get, even that wouldn’t have mattered so much. But, as it is, we had no legal protection against harassment.

I guess none of this would have been the case if we were legally allowed to marry. But we weren’t.

They’ve told me all the reasons my spouse and I weren’t allowed to marry. And it makes sense. They told me that marriage is just for procreation; I guess that seems pretty reasonable. I’m just not sure why we don’t bar infertile couples and women past menopause from ever marrying. My neighbors were in their seventies when they got married to each other–I guess they’ll be expecting soon.

I heard that we need to come together as a society in order to preserve the sanctity of marriage. That makes sense to me. Divorce rates hover around 50 percent for all marriages (with 7.1 marriages and 3.5 divorces for every 1000 people.) I guess that’s not as much of a threat to marriage as my partner and I, though, who never contemplated leaving each other. I suppose people reneging on “as long as we shall live, in sickness and in health,” isn’t a threat to marriage’s sanctity.

People worry about my capacity to raise a child with my spouse. They must know something I don’t. I’m not sure what it is that makes me an inherently inferior parent, but I sure wouldn’t want to raise a kid if my spouse and I are incapable of doing so. I just wish someone would tell me why I can’t be a good father. But if the government agrees, they must be right.

They told me that it’s necessary to preserve important religious institutions. I agree. I wouldn’t want to ruin anything by corrupting sacred ceremonies like marriage. Or ritualistic sacrifice. Or public stoning as punishment for adultery. Or witch burning. I guess nobody cared about preserving those religious institutions though–protecting them must not have mattered as much as keeping me from getting married.

When I was young my parents told me that, when two adults love each other, they make the most important vows of their lives and pledge their commitment to each other through marriage. I always thought that would happen to me–but there must have been more stipulations than my parents let on. I guess the consensual love and devotion my spouse and I share don’t matter as much as our gender.

I feel like I’m in love–I have an unrelenting desire to share in the life of only one other person for as long as I live. But this can’t be love; at least not the way love is legally defined. I must just be confused.

I used to pray that I wouldn’t be victim to the feelings I had. I suppose whoever heard my prayers must have had more pressing matters to attend to. That’s reasonable, given that this is a lifestyle choice. I just wish it was a choice that I got to make–maybe then I could have avoided the ostracization and legal obstacles I’ve faced.

But at least the institution of marriage is safe from me.

Stanford U. scientists have teamed up with NASA to design a satellite that observes the sun and its effects on the earth. The Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) is part of NASA’s “Living With a Star” program and aims to understand how the sun affects our life and environment.

SDO is the first in a series of missions. It consists of three components, each of which is overseen by a different institution. The Helioseismic and Magnetic Imager, which examines activity under the surface of the sun and creates vector magnetograms, is based at Stanford. The Atmospheric Imaging Assembly, which images the solar atmosphere every 10 seconds, is a project overseen by the Lockheed Martin Solar Astrophysics Laboratory in nearby Palo Alto. U. Colorado manages the Extreme Ultraviolet Variability Experiment, which measures extreme ultraviolet irradiance.

The satellite was launched into space in February and will orbit 22,000 miles from the earth, taking high-resolution photographs of the sun every few seconds for the next five years. The program has been running smoothly since the satellite began regular observations at the beginning of May.

The challenge now is for the scientists to analyze the constant influx of data that SDO is sending to them and to begin to build a picture of the earth’s star.

According to Todd Hoeksema, who is in charge of the magnetic imaging component of Stanford’s project and also works as a scientist at Hansen Experimental Physics Laboratory, this mission is unprecedented.

“In the past we were only able to measure the amount of magnetic field pointed at us,” he said. “These will be the very first vector magnetic field images that are continuous, and with full coverage, taken every 45 seconds.”

Hoeksema said the photo resolutions are equivalent to eight times the resolution of a high-definition television.

One of the main goals of the project is to understand “space weather” and how the variability of the sun affects the earth.

“This is a really big issue if you’re a power company, airline or a GPS company,” said Professor Philip Scherrer, a Stanford physics research professor and a member of Stanford’s Helioseismic and Magnetic Imager team.

“Space weather can disrupt many technological systems,” he added.

Coronal mass ejections — billions of tons of plasma released by the sun — have the ability to damage satellites. Up to $1 billion a year is lost on spacecraft damage, Scherrer said.

In 1989, a geomagnetic storm caused by a coronal mass ejection tripped circuit breakers on the Hydro-Quebec transmission system’s power grid, causing it to collapse and leaving six million Quebec residents without power for hours.

The SDO mission aims to develop techniques that would allow scientists to predict solar activity, like the storm that impacted Quebec. While scientists can do little to prevent or change space weather, this would allow companies to take defensive action.

For example, satellite companies could disable interconnected sections within their satellites to reduce the susceptibility of the entire system. Airline companies could also reroute flights that go over the poles in order not to lose radio communications.

Another goal of the mission is to understand the sun on a global scale. Hoeksema explained that in the past, scientists had to pick between viewing a specific part of the sun in high resolution and seeing the whole star in low resolution. This meant that if events at one point of the sun were affecting other parts of the star, they could not examine everything at the same time.

“So for the first time,” Hoeksema said, “SDO is going to put together the whole picture of what’s going on at the surface, in the atmosphere, all at the same time. We can see the global picture now.”

The Iraqi National Library and Archives has asked Stanford U’s Hoover Institution to return Baath Party records acquired in early 2008 on a five-year loan — a request Hoover is resisting because it doesn’t deem security in Baghdad sufficient to ensure the documents’ security.

The records consist of more than seven million documents that once belonged to Iraq’s Baath Party and security forces, which ruled the country from 1968 until its overthrow by U.S. and coalition forces in 2003. The documents came to Hoover via the Iraq Memory Foundation (IMF), a Washington, D.C.-based group that entered Baghdad in 2003 to protect historical records.

Richard Sousa, the director of Hoover’s library and archives, brokered the agreement with the foundation, which agreed to store the Baath records in a Hoover archive until conditions in Baghdad are sufficient to ensure the archive’s security.

“We have documents from the Iraqi ministry saying Hoover can hold on to these while we [the ministry] find a safe haven for them,” Sousa said. “Now, even though the Iraqis say things are better, it’s certainly not clear to everyone that the situation is better.”

Indeed, several scholars have, in light of the request, lamented the security in Baghdad, where the National Library and Archives is located.

“Circumstances are unstable in Iraq — there are different actors with a variety of motives and the ability to ensure the physical integrity of the documents is questionable,” said Larry Diamond, a Hoover senior fellow and former adviser to the Coalition Provisional Authority in Baghdad. “If you’re a Baath terrorist and you know these records have been physically returned to Iraq and are sitting in building X or basement Y, that’s going to be a very inviting target.”

Abbas Milani, the director of Iranian studies and an Iranian exile, expressed concern that the records, if returned, could be used for political means.

“My fear is that, if the rest of the region is any example, those in power will use these documents for scoring political points against opponents,” Milani said. “I would hope that they would go back to a democratic Iraq that will make them readily available to scholars, equally available to scholars and safely available to scholars.”

“It doesn’t take an area expert to really see that Iraq today is not a very safe place for these kinds of valuable documents,” he added.

The director of the Iraqi National Library and Archives, Saad Eskander, has made the request not only to Hoover — which he and a delegation did in person earlier this month — but also to the National Archives in Washington, which currently stores a Jewish archive, and to the Pentagon and the CIA, which house other Iraqi records.

“This was the first time that Iraq presented an official demand to retrieve all the documents, not only the Jewish archive,” Eskander told Reuters last week.

Still, according to an e-mail to The Daily from Kanan Makiya, the founder of IMF, there is a “deep rift” within the Iraqi Ministry of Culture about whether or not any of the records should be returned now.

Makiya said that in an Iraqi radio program that aired last Thursday, which he heard in Erbil, Iraq, “a deputy minister of culture, senior to Eskander and his team who visited Hoover, tore into his colleagues’ allegations, supporting enthusiastically the IMF and Hoover’s role.”

Eskander did not respond to a request for comment.

Despite the back-and-forth, Sousa has maintained since the Baath records arrived at Hoover that the documents belong to the Iraqi people and will be returned.

“From the start, these papers belong to the Iraqi people,” he said.

Scholars who now work with the records access digitized copies; the originals are kept in an undisclosed location. Sousa said “most” of the archive has already been digitized.

“We have no other case where an entire ruling party’s archives are found in one place and are being rigorously, systematically catalogued and being made available to scholars,” Milani said of the digitization project.

Diamond said digitization of the archive will likely appeal to both scholars in the United States and the Iraqi people.

“Nationalism is very strong in Iraq, so the sense that their treasures or their precious history be returned to the country is probably something that would resonate with a lot of Iraqis,” he said. “But I think the goal of preserving a complete historical record is also something that will resonate with them.”

Talks between Hoover and the Iraqi National Library and Archives will continue next month, when Sousa and Eskander are set to meet in Washington.

“We’re working with them to try to find a time when these things should go back,” Sousa said.

If you’re one of the many college students who use Facebook, good luck keeping your personal information private. Facebook’s recent privacy changes have made it almost impossible to limit what third parties can and can’t see, and by doing so, the company is taking advantage of the people who made Facebook the success story it is today – its users.

To keep information private so only friends can see it, a user has to decide between more than 170 options and click through 50 privacy buttons on average, according to The New York Times. And if you want to actually understand how your personal information is being shared with the world, you have to read through the 5,830-word privacy policy. Still have questions? Take a look at the privacy-related FAQ section that has a word count of more than 45,000.

Not only is Facebook taking advantage of its users, it’s trying to hide what it’s doing in a tangle of complicated settings and policies. This is wrong. A company as large as Facebook needs to be honest and give clear explanations for its actions. Facebook has done neither.

Instant messages attributed to Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg when he was 19 years old provide interesting insights into his attitudes toward privacy. In one of the messages attributed to Zuckerberg, he says people who submitted personal information to the original Harvard version of Facebook and trusted him with it were “dumb [expletive]s.”

And yes, Zuckerberg is now 26 and the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company, but Facebook’s current privacy policies seem to follow a similar line of thought. Maybe we are dumb for trusting Zuckerberg and the rest of the company not to misuse our information or invade our privacy.

One might argue that Facebook users shouldn’t complain because they get to use the service for free. But where would Facebook be without its millions of users looking at the advertisements and bringing in ad revenue? Facebook without any users is dead, so users should be able to voice their concerns, especially their concerns over privacy.

Changes pose privacy pitfalls

The new changes allow Facebook to share users’ personal information with more third-party websites than ever before. And the worst part is, these are now the default settings. If you want to opt out, you have to navigate the confusing maze of options and settings. And even then, some of your information can never truly be private.

For example, the new community page feature links to information about a user’s hometown or university. The only way to prevent this information from being shared is to actually delete the information from your profile.

Applications are an even greater threat to privacy. Applications pull information from a user’s profile, and Facebook doesn’t have the resources to police the numerous applications it supports to make sure all third parties are using the information legally.

I understand Facebook makes money from advertising, and that’s fine. But it gets scary when third parties can access every single detail of your life and use the information however they want. It opens up the door to thousands of worrisome scenarios. I want to feel secure on a social networking site instead of feeling like Big Brother is taking note of everything I post.

College students were the first to embrace and popularize Facebook. They have dealt with Facebook widening to include high schoolers, professors and employers. But college students shouldn’t have to worry about privacy issues on top of it all. They should be able to post personal information without worrying which company will see it or who will use it for questionable purposes.

People have begun leaving Facebook in protest. One alternative to Facebook, called Diaspora, has been created to give users control over their personal information and what they post. Another alternative for college students only, Collegiate Nation, is similar to the early college-student-exclusive Facebook. It’s designed to give disenchanted Facebook users more privacy and control.

But even though these new social networking websites are intriguing, I’m not planning to delete my Facebook account. Instead, I think Facebook users should band together to tell Facebook executives how they feel. Small groups of people might not accomplish much, but if the more than 400 million people who are registered with Facebook all speak out, I’m betting Zuckerberg and the rest will pay attention.

Privacy is important, even in our digital age where nothing personal is sacred. If we want to hold on to the small sections of privacy we have left, we Facebook users need to let the company know that we want clear explanations and a better privacy policy. I don’t want to look back five years from now and regret being “dumb” enough to trust Facebook with my personal information.

3,000 years ago, tattoos were used to show people’s status or what their lifestyle was like.

Today, tattoos are everywhere. With shows like Miami and L.A Ink, the practice is in high demand. But what things do you need to know before you go under the needle?

For starters you need to know generally what you want. Whether it is a dragon flowing over your shoulders or even a design on your lower back, you need to have these ideas before you go to the shop.

If you only know that you want a sun, the artist will work with you to make sure the design is exactly what you want. The artists will even take a general idea and sketch out a design for you. Make sure you make an appointment with the artists before you walk in. They will have more time to work with you.

The second thing you want to think about is placement. If you have an office job, where tattoos are not acceptable, it would be a good idea not to get one on your neck or anywhere it could be seen. The actual placement is key to a great tattoo.

Pain can be a factor. A needle hitting right on the bone can be very painful and so can a needle poking close to a vein. If you don’t like pain it might be a good idea to look into Henna tattoos. However, the pain is temporary and you wont remember how it felt once you have the finished product.

Shawn Horton, a tattoo artist at Windham Tattoo and Piercing in Windham, Maine, has been tattooing for seven years and his advice is to “make sure they do solid work.” You could go to a tattoo parlor and have a design that you want the artist to transfer, but unless you have seen their other work, you never know what you are going to get.

An artist’s portfolio is always something to check out. They should have a book in the shop for you to see what type of work they have done in the past. The portfolio is like their resume; they may seem like they could do a great job but, if their resume doesn’t back it up, leave.

It is important for the shop to have a good reputation as well. Horton for instance will not do a racist tattoo. Unlike a painting that is stuck on a wall, Shawn’s art travels all over the place. If he does a great tattoo, people will know that he did it. But if he does one racist tattoo his reputation will be scarred as well as the shop where he works.

“Cheaper is not the best,” says Horton. With tattoos you pay for what you get. It’s better to save up an extra hundred dollars and get a great product than pay $80 for a tattoo you will ultimately regret.

You need to be at least 18 to get a tattoo. If a shop lets someone who is underage get a tattoo, they are not a reputable establishment. The same goes for shops who allow drunk or otherwise inebriated people to get inked.

Cleanliness is key to a good tattoo parlor. If you walk into a shop and it’s dirty, don’t bother staying. There are plenty of clean establishments where you can get solid art done.

Definitely do your homework. There are plenty of websites dedicated to educating the public about getting a tattoo and taking care of one.

The aftercare of a tattoo is very important. If you don’t do it right, the tattoo could get infected or it could fade. After the tattoo is finished the artist will bandage it. After about an hour or two, take of the bandage and don’t bandage it again. Keep the area moist with Polysporin or Aquaphor. These products do not have any medication in them and are used to keep the area moist.

It is important to keep the tattoo moist at all times. It will start to peel and hurt if you do not apply the ointment regularly. If your tattoo starts to peel or hurt make sure to use one of these products as soon as you can. Remember to keep the area clean as well. Any unscented antibacterial hand soap will work well.

The most important thing is to be smart about where you go and what you want because tattoos are permanent. The last thing you want is to spend more money to get the tattoo removed because you will end up with scarring and the tattoo will never completely disappear. It is cheaper to get the tattoo covered up than to go through the process of getting it removed.

CHHHOOOO, CHOOOO,” here comes the self-entitlement train and guess who is flooding the station to get aboard: Americans. This time around, Americans aren’t asserting their way of life over everyone else’s by trying to make English the national language, crying for universal health care, better schools or trying to raise the minimum wage. There are no grandiose ideas being put forward, this time things are a little more petty than any of that.

This time around its solely about people not wanting to pay to see movies. This is a little different than the, “I don’t want to pay for music,” train because in this case a definite and dramatic impact is visible.

I’m talking about 2009 film “The Hurt Locker” and how, as reported by Reuters.com, “The Hurt Locker” first leaked onto the web more than five months before its U.S. release last June, and was a hot item in P2P circles after it won six Oscars in March, including best picture and director. Despite the accolades, the film grossed only about $16 million in the U.S.”

I realize when someone says that a movie grossed that much money, you’re thinking, “That’s still a lot of money,” so allow me to put things into perspective.

“The Hurt Locker” came in at 117th most grossing film of 2009, according to boxofficemojo.com. That’s right, the film that was considered to be best picture and garnered five other Oscars had 116 other films bring in more money, and believe you me, many of the films which earned more did not receive critical acclaim. “The Hangover” came in at number six for top grossing, bringing in $277,322,503. Can you really tell me that it deserved it more?

Many people will defend the pirating of the film. People in Internet forums, on youtube.com channels and in bars are defending the electronic theft of “The Hurt Locker” saying that viral osmosis of a product only helps it with free advertising, or that it’s the age of the Internet, and people need to get used to pirating. I could link you to a well known youtube personality saying this during his latest show, but you visiting his channel brings him money, and I’m not about to support someone who openly advocates stealing because its easy.

It’s safe to say things are not as they should be, when the best film of 2009 doesn’t even break top 100 for most grossing films of 2009. If you are interested in a film what you do is read reviews about it, ask friends what they thought or just bite the bullet and pay to see it yourself.

What you don’t do is hear that the movie is out-of-control awesome and then steal it off the Internet and give some lame pseudo-intellectual explanation of why it was justified that you stole from someone.

I think the issue was addressed most aptly by Ayn Rand in her novel “Atlas Shrugged.” It’s an awesome book that you won’t ever read because of its enormous length, so I’ll tell how it pertains to what I’m talking about.

In “Atlas Shrugged,” the smartest minds in the world stop working because they are having their intellect and hard work leeched off by everyone else in a weird kind of socialism that is put in place. When the greater minds go on strike, the nation feels a kind of brain drain that makes progress grind to a halt.

Believe it or not, you are not in any way entitled to what someone else creates. You have no claim to their hard work. It doesn’t matter what you think about them, how much money they make, or whether you think they have more than they will ever need. Doing it because its easy and justifying it later can be done by any thug who throws on a hoody and mask.

You not seeing the similarities is just, well, dumb.

If you want great films to be made, you need to support great films by going out and giving them your money in exchange for enjoying them. As much as I’m sure film makers love to make movies, I doubt they like being ridiculously short changed.

At the end of the day, everyone wants to get paid, and if the people standing there with their hands out waiting to collect for their hard work get short changed, they stop working.

Every week throughout the spring, members of the local media outlets flood into Bill Davis Stadium to talk to Ohio State U. pitcher Alex Wimmers. Every time the Buckeye ace is set to make a start, a slew of scouts are in attendance, radar guns in hand.

To some, it might seem extreme how much attention is devoted to one player on OSU’s 33-man roster. But those who have seen the junior pitch would say he’s worthy of such attention.

The right-hander started the season 9-0 for the Buckeyes, which tied him for the best start in OSU history.

“He’s an All-American. He’s undefeated on the season, obviously he’s a huge talent,” senior Ryan Dew said. “Every time he’s on the mound, we know we’re going to win.”

Wimmers’ attempt to collect his 10th win of the season was put on hold after he pulled his left hamstring in a pre-game warm-up on April 30.

The injury caused him to miss his start that day against Michigan, the team he tossed a no-hitter against the previous year. Altogether, Wimmers missed three consecutive starts because of the injury.

“Not being out there is killing me,” Wimmers said before the team’s trip to Iowa City, Iowa, on May 14. “With the conference so close, you want to be out there and help your team as much as possible. I’m trying to get as much treatment as possible. I’m practically living in the training room.”

Wimmers’ dedication to his rehabilitation paid off as he was able to return to the mound in a must-win game against Minnesota. Nearly a month after his last start, Wimmers took the mound for his team.

“It just shows you how much of a competitor he is and how much he cares about this team more than anything else,” Dan Burkhart said. Burkhart is a long-time friend and teammate of Wimmers, having caught him since they were nine years old.

If Wimmers was rusty, he didn’t show it. He recorded three of the first four outs of the game by strikeout and looked dominant. But a weather delay caused the game to be postponed until the following day.

When play resumed Saturday, Wimmers again took the mound. Admittedly in pain and fighting fatigue, the hurler risked further injury by pitching, but said that wasn’t his concern.

“I didn’t think about it like that. I just did the best I could to try and get a win for my team,” Wimmers said.

The Buckeye ace completed six innings, allowing just one run. The scouts on hand saw not only Wimmers’ mid-90s fastball and knee-buckling curve, but also his tremendous heart and competitive fire, coach Bob Todd said.

“He’s a competitor and I think he’s proved that with his two outings this weekend,” Todd said. “He put the team in front of his own goals. I couldn’t say enough good things about Alex Wimmers.”

In a post-game press conference, an emotionally and physically drained Wimmers addressed the media. Although the question was never formally asked, the consensus in the room was that, with the MLB Draft less than two weeks away, Wimmers’ gutsy performance would be his last for the Scarlet and Gray.