With the recent Hollywood influx of lauded space travelers—the casts of Star Trek/Wars; Matthews McConaughey and Damon in Interstellar; Damon again, but this time he’s the good guy and he’s stuck on Mars—it might seem like this is a hard superlative to nab. As an avid fan of space and all that it offers, however, I will tell you that best space traveller is Juno. Though sharing a name with a pregnant Ellen Page character circa 2007, Juno is in fact a spacecraft headed to Jupiter RIGHT NOW. It’s going to observe the gas giant and maybe even find out how it evolved. A burning question from me, circa 2007:
if boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, how do they not die in its gaseous atmosphere? Juno, please answer this! Follow- up: why do boys get to go to Jupiter, ‘cause I’m currently a girl going to college to get more knowledge and it’s honestly not as dope as interplanetary space travel. Ugh, patriarchy.

This coming July 4th (because AMERICA), Juno arrives at Jupiter after a five year journey. When Juno left Earth, LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem was the number one song in the US, and Taylor Swift was still a country singer. Sadly, Juno will know the glory of neither Red nor 1989. After a twenty-month orbit, the plan is to send Juno out in a blaze of glory by releasing it from orbit and letting Jupiter’s gravity do its thing. Obviously, everyone’s going to throw “Kudos Juno” parties in March 2017, but I urge you to get in front of the hype.