You’ve probably seen me rolling around campus in my nifty black and red walker with my headphones in, or in Zorn Dining Commons with some friends.

You’ll notice that I usually am a friendly person, saying hello to those who pass by and then going about the rest of my day. A very normal day, at least for me. There are, however, some differences in how I see the world and how I do things.

I was born with a condition called Cerebral Palsy, a neurological condition developed shortly before, during or after birth, which in short is a group of movement disorders.

The severity and affected area varies on a case by case basis. For me, my legs are what are mainly afflicted. As a result, I’m forced to use a walking aid to get around, making performing  simple tasks a little more interesting.

I say interesting because much of these tasks, like opening doors, driving, making food, etc, are not hard, but I have spent a long time working very hard on improvising in order to fit my physical abilities. Generally I don’t need help with anything and, when I do, I’ve learned to swallow my pride and ask for it. However, there are some people who  are very persistent.

Several times a day, people ask me if I need help pulling out my chair, carrying my backpack, or ask me if I’m lost if I’m just sitting on my walker.

While I, and many of my handicapped counterparts, appreciate the offer, those people need to learn how to take no for an answer. I don’t mean that in a rude way, but imagine that you’re going about your day putting groceries in your car and someone approaches you and asks if you need help and you say, “No, thank you, though!” because you can do it yourself.

Then they ask again, and again, and then they just take matters into their own hands and take the bags from your hands and put them in your car anyway. This dialogue could and does happen in any situation. How do you feel about that? A little annoyed, right?

Here’s the thing, by taking matters into your own hands without permission, you’ve disregarded and undermined the hard work that I’ve put into being independent.

All the surgeries I’ve had and physical therapy I’ve done to be able to stand there, hold my balance and put those groceries away, has taken a lot of thought and hard work. I understand that you want to help and/or do your good deed for the day, but when I say I can handle doing something, treat me like anyone else and move on.

See, in my 21 years on Earth I’ve learned that many people have certain misconceptions about not only me, but many other handicapped individuals. Society tends to treat disabled people with kid gloves. Constantly asking if we need help isn’t actually helping, it’s not reality.

The goal of anybody with a disability is to be independent. The fact is that they need to adapt to what is mostly an inaccessible world.

That means a lot of blood, sweat and tears. It took me years to learn how to open a door without falling, to figure out how to carry my plate without spilling it. The reason why I was able to learn these  things is because the people around me made me do it and wouldn’t cut me any slack. So by doing the kid in the walker a favor, you’re not really doing them a favor. Life is a learning experience, that doesn’t change because of a disability.

If you see me on campus, say hello. I’ll give you a nod and maybe we’ll chat for a bit between classes. If I seem to be having a tough time, don’t immediately jump to my aid, let me struggle. In my head I’m thinking of an easy way to do it.

Think of it as the scientific method – trial and error. If I need your help, I’ll ask. If I mess up so badly that I fall, that’s fine.

Just know I’ll always get back up. With the whole not-being-able-to-walk thing going for me, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

Jacob Barrett can be contacted at jbarrett@kscequinox.com