This is perhaps the only ringing endorsement of Spirit Airlines ever, but I’m a sucker for cheap airfare and hidden fees. There are P90X days until the annual trip to Myrtle Beach for seniors, athletic juniors, and *really* cool sophomores, and it’s time to book your tickets now. But you have to book with Spirit, because it’s part of the experience. I’ve heard horror stories. One year, a group of seniors was stuck on a plane for five hours, but they made the most of it by turning it into an excuse to get wasted. Last year, a junior walked onto a plane sans any identification while blackout without a problem. If any of this sounds scary to you, it should, but that’s what makes Spirit fun, since you never know what to expect. It’s the travel equivalent to the Miya’s late night special: cheap, and a grab bag of weird. This isn’t limited to Myrtle either— if you’re still planning your spring break, there are some cheap flights to Colombia. Spirit’s motto is “Less Money, More Go.” Same. Know Spirit, Know Fun.
D: The Holy Spirit
Lenten season is upon us, which means my divinity school housemate is vegan again and everyone and their brother are giving up candy. The 40 days before Jesus’ bar mitzvah get the holiest of us to give a little something up, or at least say they will, but never really stay true to their promise. (There are people that give up things they never do, which is basically cheating. Take my mom, who year after year gives up “skydiving in the nude” for Lent, God bless her heart.) The way I see it, if the New Year’s Resolution is the show, then Lent is just the after-party. But as a modern day libertine, I think the notion of giving something up is really ascetic and torturous. Why should I have to give anything up to prove my piety? How about I incorporate something into my routine to a similar effect? If I add a scoop of creatine to every meal, I’d be huge by Myrtletime, and no less SigEp Jack’d by Easter. I fuxwit Lent, albeit on my own questionable terms, and no matter your faith, you should, too.
Fail: The Spirit of Full Disclosure
I hate when people begin sentences with the phrase “In the spirit of full disclosure…” right before they say something, since it makes me feel like they’re always lying to me by default. Like, does that mean that we weren’t speaking “in the spirit of full disclosure” before? But I digress. I’m really into spitting the truth, but I admit it gets even me into trouble sometimes. Secrets, secrets, they’re no fun, right? Well, two secrets that Yale should know right now are still under wraps, and I take issue with that. One: who is playing at Spring Fling? This answer will have a significant impact on what I decide to wear and what substances I decide to use. Two: who is speaking at Class Day? This answer will have a significant impact on what I decide to wear and what substances I decide to use. Someone pull an Edward Snowden and leak those for me, because I’m dying to find out. In the name of the father, the son, and the spirit of full disclosure, Amen.