Does anyone know when you start to become that curmudgeonly old geezer who comments on the crazy innovations that surround us? I certainly didn’t think it was in your 20s, but recently I’ve been noticing that I live in the future I once imagined. Not convinced? Think about it:

Contact lenses. Mini shells of bifocals that go onto our eyeballs!!

The Chelsea High Line. An elevated, vegetated walkway that weaves through the skyscrapers of NYC. Get on it.

Virgin Galactic. Richard Branson took a break from being an absolute wack job to start sending any old consumer into space! In a few years, for a few millon…

Dubai. You ever seen an island shaped like a palm tree? Or the tallest building in the world? OR an indoor ski mountain?! Me neither.

Still not convinced? Allow me to introduce Utopia, Fox’s brand new reality TV show.

15 perfect strangers will be dropped at a remote location for one year. During that year, the “Newtopians” must build a government and live off the fat of the land. We’ll be watching a petite civilization develop on our TVs, androids, laptops, iPads, what have you from the comfort of our own homes. Isn’t this show the craziest shit ever? It’s the Realest World! The Hungriest Games! The Absolute Most Lost!!

Luckily, Fox is still accepting applicants. Don’t worry, we’ll be sending a Bullblog correspondent. Will we help build a fair democracy? Or pull a Benedict Arnold on everyone’s ass? Stay tuned…