There are several reasons why it is 110-percent alright for you to be alone this Valentine’s Day, but they all boil down to one. No, it’s not because you don’t have to spend your money on someone else. No, it’s not because you’re a strong, smart, independent woman (although kudos to you if you are). It’s perfect that you’re single because – if you haven’t figured it out on your own yet – people are absolutely crazy.

We all have some brilliant stories of insane ex’s, but I’m going to share with you some of my own personal anecdotes to prove that you have it made this February 14.

A long time ago, back when I was still living in blissful ignorance of my own sexuality, I dated a rather off-the-wall girl. And by off-the-wall, I mean utterly batty.

However, to be completely fair, it wasn’t always her fault. I was, after all, deep in the closet. One time she tried to make out with me in her car and I jumped out and refused to get back in until she promised not to touch me again. Needless to say, we broke up a week later.

And here’s where the crazy comes in. When I gently told her that I thought it was best to go our separate ways, she said (and I quote), “I do not accept your break up.” Nonetheless, after screaming at me for an hour in our high school parking lot, I think she finally accepted it.

Reason number one to be alone on Valentine’s Day: you don’t have to deal with crazy girlfriends who won’t let you break up with them.

A few months later (and a few months gayer) I met a very charming boy who was the absolute best. Now, we all know that person that for the first week they can do no wrong and give you butterflies and light up your life. Well, this isn’t quite that story, because most people don’t have their high school sophomore boyfriend tell them that he has a two-year old child.

We broke up after only two short weeks of dating.

Reason number two to be alone on Valentine’s Day: you don’t have to be a stepfather in high school.

The last point is actually a rather beautiful one. During my senior year, an absolutely wonderful guy proposed to me. It was nothing special or romantic, just spontaneous, which does have its own jenesequa to it, I suppose. Now this sounds like its rearing towards a happy ending, doesn’t it?

Wrong.

We had only gone on two dates prior to his wonderful engagement. Let me tell you, nothing kills a budding, week-long relationship like a proposal. Needless to say, I gave him a big fat no.

Reason number three to be alone on Valentine’s Day: no clingy potential fiancés.

In summarization, it’s perfectly alright that you’re single on Valentine’s Day! In fact, you’re the real winner here. After all, while all of us are out trying to scavenge up a last-minute reservation at Mellow Mushroom, you’re at home with a nice cup of hot cocoa, an array of snacks you are unashamed to eat and the one lover who never stops giving: Netflix.

So enjoy these lonely Valentine’s Days, and say a prayer for the rest of us.