We’ve all been there at some point – that moment when your heart is breaking or you’ve just broken the heart of someone you cared so deeply about, but all you can wonder is “what’s going to happen now?”

Sometimes a person may even have to endure hearing that oh-so-famous, but dreadfully heart-wrenching line, “I hope we can still be friends.”  But is it really possible?

Can you be friends with your ex?

The ending of a relationship is never easy, no matter how long you’ve been with a person or how mutual the decision to break up was. That pang of despair from the loss of your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t easy to cope with.

But sometimes the worst part of a breakup is where you stand afterwards. There’s always that possibility that with the end of a relationship may come the end of a friendship because sometimes an ex isn’t just a significant other, but also a best friend.

But if two people decide not to cut all of their ties with one another, the journey to friendship with an ex can be a bumpy road.

Mat Williams, a former UConn student now enrolled at Western Connecticut State University as a 5th-semester history major, said “It’s definitely possible to be friends with your ex. Not everybody can do it though.” And that seems to be a valid answer, considering the end result of a relationship is circumstantial.

“It’s possible to be friends with your ex, but depending on how serious the relationship was, you most likely can’t do it right off the bat after the relationship ends.” Williams said.

But the choice to be friends with an ex has much more to consider than what it is at face value. If you continue to be friends with an ex, where are the lines drawn?  How close is too close?

“I’ve always drawn the line in the same place as where it was with all of my other friends. I told them that even though we weren’t dating anymore, I still really care for them and wanted to be friends, but it’s not as if I’d let them run my life anymore,” Williams said of his own experience, adding, “I’d listen to what they had to say and their input just like I would with any other friend, but it no longer would carry that extra weight since we weren’t dating anymore.”

Finding the way back to the “friend zone” doesn’t happen overnight. Becoming capable of once again being friends depends a lot on the basis of the original relationship.

Kayla Ramsey, a 7th-semester English major, agreed.

“I think if the people in the relationship have a friendly bond as well as a romantic bond, it’s possible to be friends,” she said. “If a relationship is based on trust and honesty, and not just a physical attraction, I think it’s definitely possible to keep that trust even after a relationship ends, but I don’t think every couple can be friends after a relationship ends because not all relationships are based on more than just physical attraction.”

So, clearly it is possible to be friends with an ex, but what happens then?  What happens when you start a new relationship?  Does the new significant other have a say in the friendship with your ex? Do you have a say in their friendships?

“That’s a little tricky. I mean, everybody is different, but I’d say the new girlfriend has a little bit of power. She can’t come out and tell you that you can’t hang out with your ex, though. She has to respect the fact that while you guys used to have something, it’s no longer there, and you’re just friends,” Williams said.

The decision to stay friends with one another after a breakup is a question that has much to consider. Consider how the relationship started, as well as how the relationship ended, aids in this decision. One must remember that this decision can later affect, and be affected, when you bring a new person into your life. Sometimes your own comfort with the idea of staying friends with your ex isn’t the only person’s comfort that needs to be considered. Sometimes, it may be better to just cut all ties.