Just when we thought we knew everything about frozen yogurt, New Haven proved us wrong…again.

As Pink Berry prepares to open up a new store on Chapel Street, Yalies can expect a frozen battle as intense as the ’98 Nagano Olympics, when Michelle Kwan ate Tara Lipinski’s ice shavings for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

All I’m saying is that if Pinkberry wants to move into Froyo World’s backyard, they’d better be ready to bring it.

Here’s how the PB execs can rise to the challenge.

1) Sing a song and I will tip you. Period—I know this is Coldstone’s thing, but I doubt they have TM’ed, copywritten or trademarked it. It doesn’t have to be dessert related. It just needs to happen. I’ll definitely drop a couple bucks in the tip jar for any song off of Hall & Oates’ Greatest Hits.

2) Host a speaker series featuring the froyo baristas—They’re people, too, and I’m sure they’ve got some stories.  We want to hear them.

3) Sell warm beverages—News flash titans of industry: we are in New England.  When there’s three feet of snow on the ground the very last thing that I want to shovel into my mouth is a frosty, snow-like treat no matter how much mochi is on top.

4) Alert the public as to what exactly a mochi is—My lack of awareness about this topping never stops me from eating irresponsible amounts of it, but it would be nice to have some idea of what I am consuming.  Maybe you can work this into the speaker series, and while you’re at it tell us what the heck a Pinkberry is and why you refuse to offer it as one of your many delicious accoutrements.

Also, I’m taking this opportunity to call for a debate among the leadership of the three major Froyo superpowers (Pinkberry, Froyo World and Flavors). We all have questions, and we all deserve answers.