As the leaves start to turn the elms and oaks across campus into the color of vernal rust and rot, those not familiar with Yale’s deciduous flora are freaking the fuck out. Used to the warmer conditions of anywhere below the Tropic of Cancer, many internationals are discomforted. ”I’ve never seen such a mass case of leaf fungus anywhere in Peru,” says a MBMD major, Luis Diego, TC ’17. “What is the administration and operations planning on doing about this blight?” Despite the reassurances of the Midwestern and Eastern Seaboard Yalies, it’s becoming a tough sell that certain trees actually cut off their leaves to prevent damage during the harsher winter months.

UPDATE: Washingtonians and Californians have been overheard fanning the flames of Fall fear, citing their lack of experience with seasons.