To the golden retrievers walking around the St. Paul campus today:
You two were cuter than any of the boys at the U. I would like to borrow you guys and play Frisbee. When are you free?
—Unknown
Purple Onion,
Thank you for hiring extremely attractive boys. It’s made the lack of Wi-Fi at my house so much more appealing. Just coming and hanging out while doing homework and enjoying the view and great coffee.
I appreciate a good latte and a pretty face.
—Unknown
To the guys passing out the free pizza outside Superblock the other day:
Next time pass out your numbers.
Sincerely,
—The ladies who don’t like pizza
To the blonde girl wearing a gray Packers sweater:
Your face makes up for your hideous shirt. If it makes you feel better, my favorite team beat the Vikings on Sunday.
—Unknown
Zach,
I saw you running shirtless on campus the other day. Day-um. Next time skip the run and come workout in my room.
Sincerely,
—Your new workout partner
Kim,
You talked to me about your max squat and then pulled out some Daniel Tosh quotes. Marry me. Or at least meet me at the Rec for leg day.
—Unknown
To the person playing piano at Coffman:
Dear hot damn. Please be single. And please make sweet music for me every day.
—Alone. Naked.
Everyone we met,
Sleep softly tonight, for the streets of Dinkytown are now under our diligent watch.
Sincerely,
—The Blue Power Ranger
P.S. It was a pleasure putting so many smiles on so many faces.
Old man riding your bike shirtless,
You probably aren’t a student here, but mmmmm! You could be my sugar daddy any day.
—Unknown
Suit and tie gentleman,
Damn. You know the way to a woman’s heart. You may have looked out of place in the Superblock, but you’d look just right taking me out to dinner.
Sincerely,
—A girl who loves suits on and off of guys
To the man with the insanely amazing afro that ate in Centennial Hall all the time last year:
Can I please have your hair? It is perfect.
Sincerely,
—The girl that always wanted hair tips but never asked
Guy rollerblading down University in a full suit and tie,
Way to go. Keep on keeping on, classy sir.
—Unknown