Most people who know a thing or two about the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) are aware that it affects everyone. But it is also one that disproportionately affects gay men (the rectal wall has fewer cells than the vaginal wall and tears easier, causing more frequent bleeding, if you must know). And the people who carry the virus should not be persecuted for being victims, which is particularly an issue among college-aged gay men.

People love to gossip, whether it is about who’s dating whom or who’s just broken up or whose white blood cells are slowly being destroyed by an infective agent—seriously?

Walking through the beat-blasting pathways of, oh say, a local Lawrence bar on a lovely Wednesday evening, it’s not uncommon to catch a whiff of the hottest new hearsay on the patio, such as, “You know he has HIV, right?” or “I wouldn’t sleep with that person if I were you,” as if to warn a bar-hopping acquaintance against socializing with some gay succubus.

The problem here isn’t the disclosure of someone’s personal business; it’s the way the disclosure took place. Aside from the obvious trouble that a bar or club is not an appropriate venue to discuss medical conditions, doing so in a way which makes that person feel like a monster is rude, making him uncomfortable, lonely and resistant to tell anyone.

Part of the issue here is that unlike diabetes or cancer, which people inherit or acquire against their will, HIV is mostly spread through sex. And not just any sex but, mostly, sex without a condom. An infected person must be having constant, random sex with strangers, right? Wrong.

It only takes one time to become infected. Most people are sexually active, and the transmission of the virus from one person to the next happens by chance. The people who oppress others who are living with HIV, directly or indirectly, are not only parading their ignorance, but they are also taking a step back from reaching the constructive social dialogue that would allow positive people to disclose their status without the fear of being marginalized, which will help prevent the spread of the virus.

Here are some facts about HIV according to the Centers for Disease Control:

You cannot get HIV through:

– Kissing. Although there is HIV present in saliva, urine and feces, the viral load is so low as to make the chance of infection very remote.

– Blood splashes. Infected blood, semen or vagina fluid splashing on the skin is not infectious. Skin is the body’s strongest protector against HIV, and oxygen kills the virus within hours.

Ways to protect partners against HIV during or after risky sex:

– Wear a condom. A rubber barrier is the most likely way to prevent blood and vaginal fluid from getting inside the urethra (for penetrating partners) or semen from entering the blood stream through the vaginal or rectal wall (for receptive partners).

– Treatment. There is no cure for HIV. However, a preventative treatment is available if it is taken within no more than seventy-two hours after an exposure to the virus. People who know or think they may have been exposed should seek emergency care immediately and ask about post-exposure HIV prophylactic medication. This treatment is not 100 percent effective.