The Nebraska Democratic Party has announced Mike Meister will be their gubernatorial candidate for this election. Meister is a trial lawyer from my hometown of Scottsbluff and says he has a “winning strategy” to defeat current Gov. Dave Heineman.
No seriously, he thinks he can win. Why is everyone laughing?
Meister ran for attorney general in 2002 and was crushed by Jon Bruning, 66-34 percent. But this election is totally going to be different, because, um… wait, it’s coming to me. Nope, I got nothing.
Wait! Here’s something: he’s going to fix the budget. Democrats are legendary for their responsible spending policies, after all. Meister says having the state buy school properties and rent them to the districts can solve the issue. Meister says this would save nearly one billion dollars in state money that school districts use for facilities and maintenance… by having the state pay for it instead of the districts. This totally makes sense. Trust me.
Joking aside, I really did laugh when I read that Meister was running. I’m sure everyone has seen the TV commercials for lawyers who encourage people to sue over the slightest injury, real or perceived. It’s clear just watching the ad that the guy is underhanded at best and probably not the most trustworthy person you’ll ever meet. That’s who the Democrats have nominated.
True story: years ago, Meister had an ad for his law firm placed on the back cover of the Scottsbluff/Gering phone book. It had the stereotypical picture of the lawyer sitting at a desk with shelves full of law books behind him. Except many of the books on Meister’s shelf were from the “For Dummies” series. “Running for Governor for Dummies” has presumably been added since then.
According to KOTA News in Scottsbluff, a poll conducted by the Nebraska Democratic Party within hours of Meister’s announcement showed he had 20 percent support across the state. Party chairman Vic Covalt called the result “phenomenal.” But this guy is going to beat the same Gov. Heineman who beat Tom Osborne in the 2006 primary before dominating David Hahn in the general election. It’s so cute when Democrats think they actually have a chance of turning Nebraska into a blue state.
Let’s face it, Nebraska is a red state and will continue to be one for the foreseeable future. Sure, Obama managed to peel off Omaha’s electoral vote in 2008, but this is the same city that gave us Ernie Chambers. Not exactly indicative of the state at large. There’s a reason there hasn’t been a major statewide office held by someone not named Ben Nelson or appointed by Ben Nelson since Bob Kerrey left the governor’s mansion in 1986. The one exception being the four months between former State Auditor Katie Witek’s party switch and subsequent loss to Mike Foley in 2006. And even Nelson appears poised to lose his next election after demonstrating in the past year that he values his party over his constituents.
I would write more about Meister’s policy positions, but he doesn’t have any others that I can identify. At the time of this writing the “issues” section of his campaign website just has a form to sign up for email updates.
None of the news stories I can find on him mention anything other than his brilliant education plan. The only other information I can seem to find about him is that he got his undergraduate and law degrees from Creighton, then became an Army attorney. He left the Army in 1992, and has been chasing ambulances a private trial lawyer in Scottsbluff since then.
So why am I dedicating a whole column to Mike Meister’s candidacy? It certainly can’t be because I take him seriously as a candidate. A serious candidate would have actually run in the primary rather than stepping in when the party’s expected nominee, Mark Lakers, dropped out and left them scrambling to find a replacement.
It can’t be because the Nebraska Democratic Party is a major political player that needs to be countered. They have never been relevant in my lifetime. It’s not because I feel the need to defend Heineman against a challenger. He does that just fine on his own. It’s definitely not that I’m a crazy tea partier who instinctively attacks Democrat politicians just because of the D next to their names. Those people even make me a little uncomfortable. It could be because I view personal injury lawyers as nothing more than sleazy hucksters looking to make a quick buck. It could be that the thought of Mike Meister going from being a clown on my television to being a clown in the governor’s mansion makes me a little nauseous.
No, it’s mostly because I like writing about things related to the panhandle in general and my hometown in particular. Thanks for giving me an excuse, Mike.