Ahh, The Game. A time when, like always, we come together as a university to celebrate what makes us special and valuable: the fact that we go to Yale. But what makes this day different from all the other days of the year? (Great question, Kevin. But you should have been more patient. I was about to explain anyways.) This day, unlike other days, we rejoice not only in the fact that we go to Yale, but also in the fact that we do not go to Harvard.

Phew. Thank God, right? Can you imagine being a Harvard student? Can you imagine taking (or dropping) the Harvard version of CS50? Can you imagine using your refillable Charlie card to take advantage of the wonderful public transportation system connecting all parts of the greater Boston area? I know I can’t. I like my universities like I like my men: very gothic and in The Nutmeg State.

Obviously the big question of the weekend is what will happen in The Game itself. And that’s totally up in the air. Harvard could win by a lot, or Harvard could win by a little, or Harvard could even win by a medium amount. Peter Salovey could streak on the field during halftime, or tell the author of this article that he’s admired her from afar ever since she dressed up as Sexy Peter Salovey for Halloween her freshman year.

But my question is this: why do we call The Game “Harvard-Yale” and not “Yale-Harvard”? I can’t be the only one to feel like it’s a bit like acknowledging our role as second best. It’s the semantic version of the entire Yale team walking onto the field and collectively started to work on an econ. problem set instead of playing football. It’s like saying “we know we’re going to lose, so let’s just make up an arbitrary score and then all go get an order of chun bing from Junzi before it gets too cold out there.”

But Yale-Harvard just sounds weird, right? Maybe it’s like in poetry where you have masculine and feminine endings depending on the stress of the last syllable. HAR-vard. YALE. So really, ending with Yale emphasizes how macho we are as a team, how committed to the supremacy of manliness our university is and always will be. For God, For Country, and For the Perpetuation of a Culture Dominated by Masculine Ideals. Dammit. That’s kind of misogynistic, albeit in a very poetic way.

Then there’s always the “first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest” school of thought. So really, saying “Harvard-Yale” rather than “Yale-Harvard” is showing how much better we are as a school than they are, right? Ugh, I don’t care. I just want to get a cute profile picture out of this and go home to eat pie.