J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS! What can be said about this past Sunday? I mean, Jets will be Jets I suppose. Quite possibly the most Jets game of all time.

People keep coming up to me this week being like “hey, that was a close one on Sunday”. If anyone thinks for one instant that that was a close game they need their head checked. But, because I am a human being with a functional brain, I can comfortably tell you that at no point throughout that game was I even the slightest bit doubtful about the outcome.

When Tom Brady lines up under center and across the line of scrimmage from him are the New York Jets, the whole world knows what is about to happen. The Pats are gonna put up a W. The Jets are gonna fail miserably in an attempt to upset the greatest franchise in sports. It might be a cliché, but it really is like taking candy from a baby. Once a year, the Jets roll into Foxborough and think they’re gonna steal one from the Pats and every year we stuff them in a locker and steal their lunch money.

Jake Coughlin / Administrative Executive Editor

And the craziest part about this victory was the fact that the Pats played like absolute garbage. Probably the worst game of the year out of New England. Very sloppy all around. Brandon LaFell was dropping balls all over the field. Julian Edelman was dropping wide open touchdown passes. Our longest run of the day was from Tom Brady who, as much as I love him, is not the most athletic guy on the planet. Like I said, kind of a disappointing performance. But, just like they do seemingly every single game, TB12 and the Brady Bunch found a way to get it done in crunch time.

Death, Taxes, and the Patriots kicking the snot out of anyone who comes to Foxborough are truly life’s only guarantees. And the Jets being a joke. And Tom Brady being handsome. Yeah. That’s it.

And as for next week’s victims: none other than the Miami Dolphins. My prediction? The Phins will come into Foxborough riding high off of a dominant victory against the Houston Texans (lol) with their heads held high and just when they think they’ve got a shot at beating us, Bill Belichick will find a way to devour their souls. They Dolphins will be broken and beaten men with no hope to save their season.

And if the gruesome imagery isn’t your thing, I think the Pats will win 75-3 (that is the most generous 3 I’ve ever given anyone).

Jake can be contacted at jcoughlin@kscequinox.com