Only Ask Questions
Show that you’re truly interested in getting to know your date by going full Ron Swanson and communicating exclusively via queries. A sample line of questioning for the walk over:
Do you like animals?
Do you have a pet lizard?
Do you ever craft tiny, lizard-sized replicas of your favorite outfits, maneuver your lizard into them, and then strut around town with your lizard on your shoulder, wearing trucker hats that only somewhat ironically read, “#twinning”?
Isn’t it incredible that we both do that?
Behold, a bond is forged.
Be Prepared
When packing for your trip, take a note from the Boy Scouts of America and plan for every scenario. It’s a long walk—bring snacks! Your standard Goldfish, Pirate’s Booty, and miniature blueberry muffins will do, but this can also be an opportunity for romance. Imagine gazing into your date’s eyes as you nibble on separate ends of a Fruit Roll-Up, á la Lady and the Tramp. Electric, I know.
As for appropriate apparel: it might feel like we’re in Canada, but let’s dress for Cabo. Exposed skin is a must, and if your heels are less than six inches tall, you could be wearing Crocs for all I care. This is especially important for the men of the freshman class. Remember, boys, if your shoes can easily navigate Yale’s icy, cobblestone paths, you do NOT look hot.
You may also need: a deck of cards, a compass, Ravenclaw’s diadem, a dog sled (plus dogs, should you not already have them), and a Yale Undergraduate Admissions tour guide, to identify points of historical import on the way.
Godspeed, friends.