It is difficult to put into words how I have been feeling recently about my impending departure. For a long time whenever I told anyone about going to study abroad in Seville, Spain, it did not feel like I was talking about myself. I would say I am going to Seville, visiting Portugal and leaving next semester, but it always seemed like I was describing someone else’s life, not mine.

I have been avoiding thinking about my feelings towards leaving UMaine, going to a totally different country and not knowing what to expect for next semester. I will definitely miss UMaine’s community, the campus and all the little things on campus. It will not be easy leaving a campus I have been accustomed to for more than two years.

That being said, an aspect I am truly looking forward to is the beautiful Andalusian weather, without below zero temperatures or nor’easters. I cannot wait to take advantage of the weather and do as many local activities as I can. There are so many opportunities that await me, and I am excited to take advantage of them and see the impact they have on my life.

Whether it is soaking up the beaches of Portugal or the Costa de la Luz, seeing eye-opening cultures and customs in Tangier, Morocco, or walking around local towns near Seville, I have so much to be excited about. I will probably not get this chance again in my lifetime, so I need to appreciate and immerse myself in each opportunity I get while I am abroad.

It is not going to be easy when I first go over, and I will probably have a good amount of culture shock. Study abroad is not all fun and games. It will probably take a little while to adjust to the cultural, language and overall differences being in Spain. Everything is going to be different than what I am used to in my New England, American culture.

Just because there will be differences does not mean that it is a bad thing. I have so much I can learn from my encounters with local people, absorbing the history, style and feeling that Sevillan culture offers. I am looking forward to the new perspective I will gain from living abroad for a semester that I can apply to many areas in my life.

I think I have been avoiding thinking about my departure because of all the anxieties studying abroad brings up. I can avoid worrying so much. But the reality I need to face is I am leaving on Jan.18, which is less than two months. I cannot keep ignoring the inevitable.

A big anxiety that comes up is how unpredictable everything about study abroad is. I do not know how my classes are going to be, what people I will meet, who my roommate will be or how my host family will turn out. I am the kind of person who wants as much structure and predictability as possible. The more I know about what will happen, the more I can plan and prepare myself.

I do not do well with a lot of change, instability or the unknown. Next semester is filled with lots of unknowns that I cannot control or map out, as much as I may want to. All the comfort and familiarity I am used to will be rocked to the core. I will have to face many changes to my environment.

Instead of negatively predicting about next semester, I am trying to look at all the positives I have going for me next semester. I get to learn and absorb so many experiences that I would never be able to if I did not study abroad. Studying abroad was a big, risky choice for me to make. But in my heart I know it will be a very rewarding risk and challenge that will give me a chance to grow like never before.