First and foremost, adopt a parent. It could be your suitemate’s mom, or maybe his or her weird uncle who happened to come along. This will probably depend on said suitemate’s weighted value of each family member. Plan accordingly, that is, have a backup plan. Look to unexpected sources—the wait staff at your favorite noodle restaurant, Yale PD, even passing schoolchildren—and you’re sure to find someone who’ll gamely pretend to be disappointed in your midterm results.
Pay for nothing. If you’re signing a receipt, you’re doing Parents Weekend wrong. Get your replacement ‘rents to foot the bill when you go out to eat and you’ll have the most authentic PW experience. You’re also welcome to make scenes at establishments and refuse remuneration for any services.
Take awkward family photos. Find a “very Yale” background. Disrupt the paths of passersby with your photo shoot. Make sure that someone’s blinking. Nailed it.
Finally, be very embarrassed. All weekend. Maybe it’s your fake parents, maybe it’s your new friends. Either way, find a reason to use #thatawkwardmoment and you can give yourself a pat on the back. It’s just like they’re really here!
But if none of the above works for you, just spend this weekend as you would any other. The only difference being that significantly more people will be wielding cameras on Old Campus.