Walking stresses me out because it means I have to use my legs, and my trainer knows that I’m constantly doing legs day. Thankfully, the startup economy has my back and all I have to do is swipe around on my iPhone to solve all my problems. But in this case, Uber is here for me, you, and everyone who’s totally over using feet in the way they’re supposed to be used. ;)

If you have a science class on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays, text me because we can share an UberX up Prospect for the 4 minutes that the Yale Shuttle does not help. Metro Taxi doesn’t cut it. This is as economical as the time that Theta rented a school bus to go to The Place (Guilford’s fun!) and carpooling is basically like going to Rudy’s but without the fries and you’re in motion. I’m down if you’re down. Anything to make that Sc credit easier to swallow.

Why stop at class, though? Uber your walks of shame! Uber to the grocery store! Uber to Rubamba! Uber is Yale’s bitch, so let’s put it in its place.

Don’t even get me started on Lyft.