When you walk across that stage, shake hands with your school’s dean and accept your degree holder, you’re not just crossing into a new phase in your life — you’re also making a pledge to stop using some of the more annoying words and phrases you’ve adopted over the last four years. You can pat yourself on the back for ditching the #YOLO hashtag and wearing pants to class instead of your pajama bottoms, but that’s just not gonna cut it in the real word. You need to purge your vocabulary of anything that’ll keep you on the lowest rungs of the company ladder when you get a job. Here’s a sampling of those words and phrases:

I can’t even

Sentence fragments are the worst. They’re especially troublesome when you can’t even pinpoint what they’re supposed to mean. In context, “I can’t even” can refer to the user’s inability to process what’s happening at any given moment. Feel free to use it on Tumblr. That’s where it belongs.

Literally

People figuratively think, feel and do things all the time. There are times when something incredibly funny happens and you’re figuratively dying because you’re laughing so hard. And if somebody is literally the worst person in the world, well, you’re just 1) Being hyperbolic and 2) Can get the point across without using the “L” word. Pair this with the previous phrase and you literally won’t get hired ever.

Totes

The only proper use of the word “totes” is when you’re actually transporting something in a bag with the PBS logo. You gave up beezy a couple of years ago. This is the next logical step. At no point from here on out should you come close to insinuating that you’re toting goats. That part of your life is over. Kiss it goodbye.

Lol

There’s nothing wrong with typing “lol” into a text message, an IM or a Facebook post. It’s something completely different when you see someone walk around with his fly open, point at it and say the word out loud. Why? Because the act of laughing in and of itself is much more genuine. Laughter is what separates us from the animals. (Well, except the hyena.) Try saying “lol” out loud at a job where you’re not allowed to wear your Firefly T-shirt more than two days in a row and you’ll find yourself wondering where your red Swingline stapler went and filing TPS reports until retirement.