Classmates are surprised to find out that Amy Davis, 28, has a 4-year-old son. They often ask, “Where’s the dad?”

“He’s at work right now, but later he’ll be home,” said Davis, a senior sociology major.

While they may not be visible on campus, many students juggle the usual: school, work — and children. Not all of them were irresponsible teenagers who got pregnant out of wedlock — many chose this life. Nontraditional college students are becoming more common.

Nationwide, 38 percent of post-secondary students are older than 25, and 1/4 are parents. While most nontraditional students attend community colleges, even four-year colleges are seeing more parents.

Davis got pregnant while attending Umpqua Community College. She only took one term off before returning to school and eventually transferring to University of Oregon. “I wanted to show (my son) that no matter what, you can do what you want to do,” Davis said.

But her parents “don’t get it” and think she should be a mom full time. In addition to financial aid, her husband has a good job as a public accountant.

Tom Collins, 35, is almost finished with his Ph.D in sustainable architecture. He and his wife had a baby and another on the way when he decided to go back to school. But he doesn’t know many other parents at UO. Most graduate students must choose between kids and school.

For Collins, the GTF stipend only covers the cost of daycare, so having a supportive wife who works full-time as a third grade teacher is the only way to get by.

Neither Collins nor Davis have family nearby, but the university provides some services for student parents. Moss Street Children’s Center gives students sliding scale rates and Spencer View Apartments offers reduced rent to families. But when Collins’ schedule changes every term “it throws everything into a big tizzy.”

Davis said the hardest part is not being able to connect with other students. Even at the Nontraditional Student Union, there are few parents. She feels out of place when professors ask if anyone has kids or owns their home, and she’s the only one who raises her hand.

“(One professor) asked me what it’s like to be a grown-up. And I’m like, I don’t know if I’m more grown up than anyone else,” Davis said. “I’m more in debt.”

But despite her additional responsibilities, she has never asked for special treatment. She said having a child has improved her grades.

“I’m so focused,” Davis said. “I know I don’t have time to play around.”

Collins said his children are a welcome diversion during his long Ph.D process.

“They kind of break up the monotony,” Collins said.

He was much less efficient before he had children. Now he tries to keep his studies during the normal workday to save time for his family.

If she could do it over again, Davis would make the same choice.

“I just want people to know you can be a good parent and be a student. You don’t have to choose,” Davis said. “It’s really hard, but it’s also really rewarding, and I can say I did it despite all these odds against me.”