Today, astronomers announced their discovery of Kepler 186f, a planet orbiting within the “goldilocks” zone (not too hot, not too cold, just right), lying 500 light-years away and now known as “Earth’s cousin.”

I’m pumped about this. I love Earth’s cousin.

In case there is life on this planet, shouldn’t we give it a better name? All the planets close to us have sick names, why is this one called Kepler 186f? I think it should be called either El Niño, Robin Thicke, Gosling, or America. Any of those will do!