Perhaps growing older means you stop understanding things like the MTV Movie Awards.
The 22nd MTV Movie Awards featured Conan O’Brien in a space suit and a strange apocalypse theme. The opening video probably offended somebody, showing meteors smashing into large cities. In his opening monologue, O’Brien called them the “Satanic Cult” awards.
O’Brien, who is about to turn 51, seemed intensely self-aware that he’s an unlikely host for a network award show with a median audience age of 16. “Fire, explosions, rap music — all things you associate with Conan O’Brien, am I right?” O’Brien joked.
MTV has been bringing out the worst in people since Season 1 of The Real World. This was further proven tonight with the Best Shirtless Performance award — which went to Zac Efron — who has only managed to stay relevant because of his abs. However, Efron clearly was not relevant enough for Jessica Alba, who pronounced his name incorrectly. Rita Ora (who?) then removed his shirt in lieu of an acceptance speech and Efron flexed like he never could on Disney Channel.
Not that it matters, since MTV hasn’t played music since about 2001, but let’s talk about the music. The first performance was by Twenty One Pilots whose performance featured white facemasks that were too evocative of the Ku Klux Klan to be considered cool or edgy. The tweaky lead singer awkwardly rapped while playing piano and then put on a white facemask himself. Looks like the beginning and end of this band’s career.
Eminem and Rihanna performed “Monster” with classic fog machines and use of red and blue lights, which worked a lot better than the masks from the previous performance. Rihanna sounded gritty and powerful and Eminem continued to wow with impressive breath control. Ellie Goulding and Zedd closed the night with a performance of “Bleeding Heart” that quickly turned into an all-out electronic dance party that held an appropriate youthfulness for MTV.
Mila Kunis won the award for Best Villain for her performance in Oz: The Great and Powerful and off the cuff — she was the only woman nominated in the category. She and Jonah Hill, who won for “Best Comedic Performance” for The Wolf of Wall Street, both commented on the fact that they watched MTV when they were younger and that winning an MTV Movie Award felt “cool.”
The most vague award went to Channing Tatum, the recipient of this year’s Trailblazer Award, which apparently means “a super good-looking guy who becomes the lead in movies,” joked Jonah Hill when he presented the award to Tatum.
The Generation Award went to Mark Wahlberg who joked that it should be called the “too fucking old to come back” award before reflecting on his career. In what was maybe an effort to seem younger, Wahlberg swore through his entire speech.
The show also featured a video tribute to Paul Walker featuring clips from his films, as well as from his philanthropy.
The Hunger Games won the final and most prestigious award of the night for Best Movie of the Year — proving that the MTV Movie Awards are more a celebration of youth, hype and teenagers getting to vote for something than it is about cinematic excellence. Overall, a strange but entertaining throwback. But then again, I’m not a 14-year-old getting to stay up late on a school night.