Just in case you needed another reason to hate on JE–we now have fucking room service. Yes, you read that correctly: homemade baked goods, hand-delivered to the doors of JE on Saturday mornings.

Basically, all you have to do is fill out this form before 5 pm the Friday before, and–voilá–the Keebler fucking cookie elves or someone will drop off cinnamon scones or banana bread at your doorstep. Somewhere the Barefoot Contessa is literally shitting herself with excitement.

So what about the plebeians of the 11 other rez colleges? Do they get room service too?? Sorry, this service is reserved for the bourgeoiJE only #ThanksObama #KONY2012.

Update: Students from other residential colleges can still buy the baked goods, they just have to pick it up themselves. Maison Mathis–watch your back.

I wanna lick lick you from your head to your toes (jeroomservice.com)

Overall, this seems like a pretty awesome project and we wish the students of “JE Room Service” the best in their opening weekend. Who knows? If it is a hit, you may soon find some croissants outside your doors too. I know I can’t wait to pair a chocolate chip muffin with my Saturday morning hangover #soz.