Tinder, Grindr, Skout, Tingle, MeetMe, Swoon, Bang With Friends, Pure. This is just a small list of the many smartphone apps out there that all have a common purpose: hooking up.
The reasons people use them vary from person to person: They’re either looking for a relationship, a date, a friend, casual sex, a confidence boost or simply checking it out for shits and gigs.
Although these apps are now used by hundreds of University of Oregon students, a stigma still peculiarly lingers around them and makes some of the users ashamed or afraid to admit that they use them. They’re worried about coming off as desperate, lazy, promiscuous or cowardly. But is there any truth behind these assumptions?
UO seniors Drew DeCamp and Will Peters said they don’t think the stigma is reasonable or true at all because everyone uses these apps.
It’s difficult to find girls who will publicly admit they use the app because the bullshit, stereotyped gender roles that we’ve been fighting have not disappeared yet. Undoubtedly, it’s still not as socially acceptable to be a promiscuous woman as it is to be a promiscuous man.
But for DeCamp and Peters, Tinder was the catalyst for relationships.
Becca, a sophomore and UO sorority member who met her current boyfriend of three months on Tinder, said, “It doesn’t even seem like we met on an app because it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in and he is amazing and gorgeous.”
Gia Grant, another sophomore and UO sorority member who also met a guy on Tinder and dated him for two months, said, “My dad and friends laughed at first. But I’m all for the Tinder life. I think as technology continues to advance, it will become less taboo.”
Sure, using technology to find a suitable companion has its hilarious aspects. If you’ve seen the commercials for the new dating website Farmers Only, you’ll agree. But in reality, the population of suburban (or rural farmer) workaholics is growing faster and faster each day, along with technological advancement. And you can’t forget about the excellent rise in LGBT people who are finally coming out of the closet. There’s no doubt it’s even more difficult for them to find a compatible partner, so this technology is especially useful for that community. With the various reasons people have for using these apps, any kind of judgment would be pretty ignorant.
The fact is technology is a big part of the dating scene now. As Will Peters puts it, “Our parents may not understand it but it’s something we’ve become accustomed to.”
So if you’re not convinced already, what are you waiting for?
Keith Van Norman, a staff member at the UO Health Center and founder of SexPositive, the new shame-free sex education app, said adults who practice safe sex could have lots of fun using these apps, but offers this honest advice: “Communication and consent are always a big part of sex and that’s especially true with naked strangers.”
Sarah Sprague, a senior peer health educator at the Health Center, said, “As with any hookup situation, regardless of an app being involved, you should tell your friends where you are and what you’re doing. In fact, the first time you meet this person you may want to bring along a friend to ensure your safety.”
Hookup apps may present some risks, but that’s life. With a little common sense, most dangerous situations can be avoided. Keep in mind that you only need to be 13 to use Tinder, so you should probably confirm the person’s age before making a move. And have a backup plan in case you get catfished. Better safe than sorry.
All in all, don’t be afraid to give one of these apps a try if you’ve been wanting to. Laugh all you want, but truthfully, everyone’s doing it.