It looks like the U.S. Federal Government is probably going to shut down at midnight tonight when Congress fails to authorize a new budget, which obviously means I’m going to start pregaming now. I’ve been told that the way this works is loosely akin to the plot of The Purge, but the Bullblog can neither confirm nor deny these reports. We’ve also been told that this may have something to do with the fact that Breaking Bad’s series finale and Homeland’s season premier aired at the same time last night, but again we can neither confirm nor deny.

The last time the federal government shutdown was in 1995, so as a nod to those zany pre-Y2K days I’m going to sign up for an AOL account while I watch the Parent Trap and listen to Aaron Carter and Moby, except I’m not going to listen to Moby. And I’m going to buy a Hit Clips thing. Remember Hit Clips?

(Jokes aside, I do want to say that the prospect of a government shutdown is pretty fucked up. It means 800,000 federal employees will be immediately furloughed while millions of others—from post office workers to employees at the FBI—will be asked to work without pay, according to the New York Times. There’s just no good reason for that.)

But I’ll see you all tomorrow—I’ll be the one wearing denim shorts. And also, if this interferes in any way with me being able to see Gravity on Friday I’m going to lose it. I don’t know why that would be an issue but I think it’s worth mentioning. That movie is gonna be so chill.