Diana Nyad, a 64-year-old endurance swimmer who grew up in Fort Lauderdale (TFM), just swam from Havana, Cuba to Key West, Florida without using a shark cage. After four failed attempts, she finally became the first person to complete the journey. She also ruined my labor day for a number of reasons.

First off, I use shark tanks all the time. Any time I’m swimming in fact, even in a swimming pool (public or private). If you think that’s weird, recall that everyone laughed at Ralph Nader when he wanted to bottle cow farts to store methane. But I think we all know Ralph had the last laugh.

And second, Nyad completed the swim in only 52 hours, which is just a real kick in the Speedo. I spent 36 hours this summer watching Game of Thrones from start to finish, and then spent about 16-ish hours brooding over how the second-to-last episode ended.  Who’s more impressive? You decide.

And another thing: there were jellyfish in that water and jellyfish have always been really rude to me at parties.