My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. It’s all that a relationship should be: intense, worthwhile, loving. But it’s also challenging. All we’ve known is long distance — he lives in Portland while I’m here in Eugene — and we won’t be seeing each other for a while as he’s about to embark on a summer-long road trip across the country while I’ll be out of the country. He has already graduated from the University of Oregon; I have another year left, so we start to question: What will we do next year? He has career connections in Portland, so should he stay there? Or should he move down to Eugene to be with me and find work? Is it too soon to make that kind of commitment? Would our relationship survive if we continued to live away from each other?

I’ll be frank: It’s hard to fall in love, and stay in love, during (and after) college. By this, I don’t mean it’s hard to find someone in the midst of hook-up culture (though it is), nor do I mean it’s simply because college inevitably provides us with a multitude of potential partners (though there’s that, too). What I mean is that maintaining a long-term relationship during college is difficult because it’s a time in which so much is changing: our interests, our social circles, even our addresses. Being in a long-term relationship means rethinking the decisions we would have perhaps made with gusto pre-relationship. Suddenly, the relationship becomes a tool upon which every other decision, and its importance, is measured.

Should we study abroad in Argentina? What about that summer internship in California? And with graduation quickly approaching for many, these questions become more prominent. We suddenly have to assess job offers states away, internships in big cities and international endeavors. If we say yes to any of these, we are faced with the momentous decision: Should we stay together, or not? How do we make the transition from close contact to long-distance? Does moving to a new place mean a new life as well? How would a long-distance relationship affect this new experience?

The important thing is to assess the repercussions of either option — to take into account how staying together could impact your experience traveling or moving and how not being together will also impact your experience. Evaluate which would feel worse. Think of yourself in the future looking back to this decision. If the relationship doesn’t work out, will you regret having stayed together, or will you have realized that it was a risk you had to take? Ask yourself the uncomfortable questions: Is fear of loneliness a factor in this decision? How will staying together impact my independence far away?

And it’s essential to remember there is no “right” decision that applies to all relationships. You can be in a wonderful relationship and still decide to not stay together, that there are other things you would like to do, other places you’d like to explore, and you realize that being in a long-distance relationship will alter that experience for you. That’s okay. Or, you could decide that keeping a relationship going is beyond important, and that you’re willing to make that a priority.

Or, like my boyfriend, you could realize that moving to Eugene just to be with your girlfriend while you put off those connections in Portland, at least for now, is the right thing to do.

And that’s okay, too.