Dear Satan,

Why did you bless us with not one, but two Ke$ha albums in one year? Was it that you love us so much? Did you care that much for us?

Did you decide that songs such as the title track, “Cannibal,” would be justification? With the lines “I want your liver on a platter,” and “now that I am famous/you’re up my anus?” We do applaud that she learned an actual word that is referring to a scientific body part, though.

The next track, “We R who We R” is probably the worst song ever recorded. Why? Because the phrase, “DJ turn it UP!” is repeated ad nauseum as the bridge. That’s not a bridge; it’s an annoying way to lengthen a song.

“Sleazy” states that Ke$ha does not need a guy with money and a brand new car. However, it is very obvious that she presents herself as trading STDs like Pokemon cards.

Sadly, the best part of the album is when it ends. Even though her self-exploratory track, “Crazy Beautiful Life,” is supposed to show her refined side, it doesn’t; it falls flat with no substance.

If it wasn’t abundantly clear that Ke$ha is a pop-“lady of the evening” before, it should be now. While she does have a song where she actually exhibits some talent (the best song on the album), it’s a remix of one of her older tracks. If there are any fans of mediocre pop, they should rejoice.

With all our love,

Earth